I Don't Know Anything

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I don't know what to say. I don't know who I am.

I'm feeling like I am at a low point in life. I am questioning every single one of my diagnoses. I feel like I am not in control of anything, including myself. I keep trying to talk to my mom about the things I hear and am forced to do and what I think, but she thinks I'm fine. I have no power over myself. It feels like my brain is torturing me. I also don't feel like I can trust anybody without it backfiring on me.

I feel so lonely. I don't know if I have any friends or not because I don't know who is just using me. I'm not sure why anybody would want to be around me if they aren't getting anything from me, like money or material things.I just want my imaginary friends to be real and for the people who are harassing me to stop. They are the only ones I trust and I rather be around them anyway.

I'm shaking constantly and rocking back and forth way more than normal. My hands are constantly moving uncontrollably and I have been chewing on my hands, arms, and fingers really badly. So bad that they are starting to bleed. I scratch myself too and now have marks all over my body from it. I don't ever want anybody to see me because of those things. I feel like ripping all of my hair out. I don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading, if you have any suggestions please let me know.

I also felt hopless when I was young. I think anti anxiety medication and therapy would help you a lot. Try to fill your time with pleasant activities. Some activities I like doing to fill time are watching ASMR youtube videos in the evening. ( Which are very relaxing) They make me forget about my troubles. I also read, walk and go swimming to fill time. The more you focus on something other than these negative thoughts the better. I think socializing would be good for you. Unless your friends are actually using you. Is there anything they do that is making you think that?

Hope you feel better soon. And remember, therapy is very important.

Group counciling and or a psychologist might be able to help. Especially with determining who you can trust through some training in interperting linguistic and body language meanings.

I'm sorry if I'm not the most qualified person to answer this.

It really sucks feeling like you can't trust anyone. Are you sure you can't think of anyone at all that you can talk to? If your mom won't listen to you (which seems she is crazy to say things are fine when they clearly aren't), maybe there is some other relative, a friend, a therapist/teacher or something? You could also try one of those help lines and therapy.

As far as the diagnoses go, remember that they aren't there to completely define you. Whether they are correct or not doesn't change who you are, they are just there as helpful suggestions on where to look for info and assistance. The fact that you are posting here I think means you still believe that things can get better, just don't be afraid to get professional help if you need it.

Sarahsmith gave some great suggestions for some activities, ones I could add would be finding a special interest or maybe some way to express yourself (writing? drawing?) as options. I see you have an anime profile pic. I personally find anime super relaxing to watch because characters tend to be super defined and consistent, and you can always tell what character's intentions are (unlike in real life).

Man, I wish I had some better answers for you, but I really hope you stay strong and it will get better!

Sweetheart, please know that your thoughts are just thoughts and that you are in charge of what's real in the end. Fighting your thoughts is like quicksand, the more you fight the deeper they suck you in and take over. The negativity starts swallowing you whole, and you start losing your identity. You become lost in a labyrinth of your mind playing tricks on you.

Your diagnosis was made by professionals. Don't doubt your diagnosis, that is useless, and a waste of valuable energy.

If people are using you, it's best to rid them from your life. When you are not doing well, you can have paranoid tendencies though and can easily start pushing people away. Try and figure out if people are genuinely using you, and try not to make decisions you regret later on.

Please, if retreating in a fantasy world works for you, there is no harm in that. Relax, recharge and when you feel better, rethink the situation again. First priority is for you to take care of yourself and get your energy back.

Wish you much strength in this situation sweetheart. Although you are suffering, I believe you can bounce back from this. You can do this.

Stay safe!

I too have experienced some of the dreadful thoughts and feelings you have. When thinking becomes that irrational, medications can help immensely but are in no way a cure all miracle. It should be supplemented with counseling or therapy. Its worth a shot and a better alternative to what you're currently experiencing. Medication has helped alot but I still go through ups and downs, it's just not as extreme.

Maybe it would help to do something tangible every day, like work on a jigsaw puzzle.

In the services soliders start their morning by making their bed. The idea is that completing one task bodes well for completing another, and then another.

We are always here for you on Wrong Planet any time you need to reach out to someone.

You will always find someone who will show you support whenever you need it.

TheSilentOne I believe that you are under a lot of stress and this stress builds up over time. So I believe that you need to tap into techniques to shed some of this stress and bring it back down to normal levels.

According to other Aspies, therapy targeting fear and stress such as programs that treat PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) help. These include somatic experiencing, beam life coaching, Tipi emotional regulation therapy, and exposure therapy.

Now I won't claim to be an expert, only another Aspie.

Hi everybody, thank you for all of your replies, I really appreciate them all

I was away from the internet for a while because things got worse and I was too scared to even open up my laptop and talk to people. I became very depressed a little over a month ago, and to make matters worse, my psychiatrist was out of town and I was going through a drastic medication change and so help was unavailable for three weeks. During those three weeks, I basically stayed in my bedroom the whole time, overthinking and sleeping too much. However, there is a rainbow after every rainstorm (as I always believed as a child). My psychiatrist came back, I went back on my old mood stabilizer (It was a complicated situation involving me taking it the first time with another medication that basically cancelled both of them out, leaving me with no help whatsoever). A couple weeks later, I began filling out job applications because I was feeling well enough again. I fortunately got a job and I have been feeling a lot more stable, even though things are still far from perfect.

Thanks again everybody for your kind words and helpful suggestions. Again, I really appreciate it and thank all of you

Congratulations on the job!

Getting that job is great news!