Help! I need advice! What should I do?

Post Reply New Topic

My friend of almost two years, also an aspie, just revealed to me that he does not care if something is morally right or not as long as it is socially acceptable. He seems to have learned social rules very well, despite being autistic, using his extreme intellect. At first, I admired his apparent emotional intelligence. He seemed fair, forgiving, and accepting, almost the perfect person. He has been one of my best and only friends and people I can relate to an an autistic person. But now he is making excuses for extremely offensive behavior by saying it is socially acceptable. It seems to be the opposite of the average aspie, instead of being very moral but not social he is able to socially interact (due to being smart and studying social skills) but his morals are distorted. He sort of learned how to be a "psychopath", mirroring everyone around him and hiding his true nature.

Advice is needed desperately. Should I stop being friends with him?

It's very hard to say without knowing the details. You could keep yourself at a safe distance and try to bring out his better qualities. If you disagree with what he is saying then put forward your arguments. If the situation becomes impossible, pull away.

It can be very tiring arguing with people who are bound up with their intellect. If you can't get your point across it might be time to disengage.

Seems to me this is a matter of extrovert charades and a violent, callous world imprinting on people. I know I'm not immune, not sure anyone could be but I think it's possible through introspection to separate ourselves from the negative energy so to speak.

I think being noticeably different can cause any of us to perceive animosity just about anywhere, software developers often use techniques called 'sanity checks' and I think that applies here. I have lots of friends with short fuses & so on, it's not impossible to point someone in the right direction unless they're consciously committed to something negative.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos