No difference to any other day

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Forever alone
Zero friends
Zero relationship experience
No entertainment
No job. no school.
Painful life
everyone enjoys spending time with friends
they have motivation
i dont even relate to them
spend all day in my room
going out triggers anxiety
staying at home triggers depression
family sucks
i dont talk to them
they dont do either
rarely we talk to each other
im doing nothing
zero motivation in life
even zero motivation for killing myself
not making effort to kill myself
my life is pointless
but still im living
i should stop this one day
this life was my only chance
wish i was born as a non autistic person
im 20 years old, living as if im 80 years old
my brain dead
because of thinking too much
too many mental disorders to write here
aspergers syndrome. anxiety. depression and so on
i'll wait another 2 months

Reading your post felt like I was reading about myself. The only difference is I can go out in public no problem. But going out and socializing causes me great anxiety.

Not sure what advice to give you. I wish you were not so depressed. Keep in mind there is no problem with staying in. As long as you have activities to occupy yourself. Maybe you could still go out but to quiet places with little distraction. Or perhaps to avoid being depressed and stuck inside you could force yourself outside for a little while even though it triggers anxiety.