I'm so sick of ignorant, pathetic parents

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I'm so sick of parents controlling EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE. Even though I've been told by professionals that it's "probably Asperger's", they still show ignorance of it so they can wallow in self-pity. You know, the "My life is so horrible! Why me!" card. They live for that. If they actually accepted the diagnosis, then the problem would be solved, and they would not be able to play the self-pity card. They blame ME for THEIR problems.

The *ONLY* way to get through to them is via MAJOR meltdown, and even then they still don't get it. Case in point: I was told that we would be seeing a therapist. This was 3 weeks ago. Dad walks by and says "Oh by the way, we have an appointment tomorrow." ....WHAT!?!?!?! !! !?! I explained to them how I need advance notice (can't stand sudden change) like a week, and they were like "What the hell? Who needs a WEEKS notice??" What's more, they picked a therapist that THEY wanted to see!

They seem to think that I can't make any decisions by myself, and I need them to hold my hand through EVERYTHING. They simply cannot accept this. I know it's not just me, because my older NT brother feels the same way. Am I right to feel that I should have control over things that directly impact me?

I suppose what I ultimately want to accomplish is for them to realize AS and realize that the problem is NOT ME. It's THEM. These people don't know ANYTHING about me. It's so sickening.

I feel better now.

don't quite know what to say besides that a life completely controlled by people who can't bother to know or care just sucks.

^^ I believe I may very much relate concerning advanced notice. ^^ Sometimes my happy parents do this and I begin to panic. For instance, my happy friend (I have not met with her in a very long time) would often ask if I wished to visit the cinema or restaurant during the same evening and I would often enter a very scary world in which I cannot make a decision as I would have perhaps planned to complete a different activity during the evening.

I am not sure what your parents are doing to make you feel this way. I think part of it is your terrible teens where they want their way now because they want their own freedom and their own rules because they are becoming adults. That's why they call it adolescence. Even regular teens feel their parents never listen. I think kids are very submissive and then when they reach their adolescence their feelings change because they now want control over their own lives and not be told how to live their life by their moms and dads.


I bet we go through this stage differently than regular teens. I went through it like a two year old my mom says.

Is there the possibility that they are repeating behaviours that cause you distress because that they think you'll "get used to it"? I know that I had that problem with my relatives (aunts & uncles) until I stopped speaking to them, I know that they were trying to do their best by me but it made me so angry. I've also had some problems with my Mum not understanding things about me. Thankfully I don't have problems much with quick changes to the schedual but I do have some other problems, so I have an idea of how you're feeling.

Ok, let see it from a less short-term perspective:

1) You are 15 - legally the control of your parents over your live will end in short. So why bother that much?

2) Parents have this tendency of controlling and not realizing the "real" age of their children - BUT: Having a meltdown does not display "adult" behaviour, Part of this adult behaviour is to keep your emotions under control. You should learn this as a survival skill. A meltdown in the family is a annoyance; in a job-situation it is very quickly a threadto your existence (at least economically).

Take the chance of learning to control this extra stress, to get command over your own mind, otherwise you will never get real independence.

Parents like that aren't uncommon to aspies.

It could be they see you as their failure to produce a normal child or they think if they don't acknowledge and accept it then it'll go away.

My advice is to let them know how you feel and do your own things. Own washing, own cooking...etc. Set your own schedule to live by. Hell...if you really want them off your back, pay rent so they have no control.

Veteran- you his dad or something? OP is venting, about a common experience in families that is hard to navigate. Why does it bother you him saying this? Are you a parent who is dealing with something similar, what?

Just going to tell you that you're right, I used to experience this myself, but, fortunately, with only my mother left and me living on my own (rather than in «mom's basement»™:wink:), she eventually calmed down a lot more and became much more reasonable, and there's rarely ever any drama between us now.

Just a tip from someone with «experience» dealing with this, you should keep a time-line of occurrences, specific things in order to gather evidence to build your case to the point that it's irrefutable. For example, perhaps they blame you for breaking or cracking a plate and confronted you at 4:30pm about it, just «document» the incident, and keep track of all your activities.

You can use an alarm-app that beeps every so-often to remind you to write down the activity you did during the last 10 or 15 minutes into your appointment-book (including location). So, if your records show that you have not been in the kitchen for the last two days, and they claimed that the plate was broken as of yesterday, you will have strong evidence that they are just trying to create unnecessary drama against you.

This is even more effective if you can have a surveillance-system set up around your house to auto-record any time there is motion-detection in any room, then as you go back and look at the time-stamps, and it turns out that one of them was washing the dishes carelessly, the footage (with TIME-STAMP) can be shoved back in their faces.

I'm so sick of parents controlling EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE. Even though I've been told by professionals that it's "probably Asperger's", they still show ignorance of it so they can wallow in self-pity. You know, the "My life is so horrible! Why me!" card. They live for that. If they actually accepted the diagnosis, then the problem would be solved, and they would not be able to play the self-pity card. They blame ME for THEIR problems.

The *ONLY* way to get through to them is via MAJOR meltdown, and even then they still don't get it. Case in point: I was told that we would be seeing a therapist. This was 3 weeks ago. Dad walks by and says "Oh by the way, we have an appointment tomorrow." ....WHAT!?!?!?! ! ! !?! I explained to them how I need advance notice (can't stand sudden change) like a week, and they were like "What the hell? Who needs a WEEKS notice??" What's more, they picked a therapist that THEY wanted to see!

They seem to think that I can't make any decisions by myself, and I need them to hold my hand through EVERYTHING. They simply cannot accept this. I know it's not just me, because my older NT brother feels the same way. Am I right to feel that I should have control over things that directly impact me?

I suppose what I ultimately want to accomplish is for them to realize AS and realize that the problem is NOT ME. It's THEM. These people don't know ANYTHING about me. It's so sickening.

I feel better now.

I don't get it: you're twenty four. If you don't like living with your parents, why don't you just move out? I'd rather live on the streets than with another human being - my idea of hell.

Another G.D. necrobump. OP hasn't posted anything since 2012. No percentage in replying to him, he don't come here no mo.