Getting creeped out

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So basically there's this person who's just returned to my social group who is mostly nice and everyone else seems to like them but they creep me out.
There is a bit of history between us but that was a while ago.
Now whenever they show up I feel sick to the stomach and really uncomfortable and people are starting to notice I'm going quiet and not interacting with them or even leaving when they arrive, and they probably think I'm being strange and rude, but I don't know how to get over this horrible gut feeling, or how to explain it.
There's things they say too that seem mildly threatening towards me, like they seem to overemphasise how friendly and welcoming everyone is to them in a way that kind of highlights that I'm not, but I don't know if that's only because I'm being hypervigilent and imagining it.
Everyone else thinks they're the duck's nuts.
What should I do?
I don't want to give up my social group.

I can really relate. Sorry that I don't have good advice, since I've not been into any social group enough when these situations came up for me. I was happy to leave those groups. Have you talked about your concerns with anyone in the group that you trust? I always find it a weird sensation when I dislike someone the rest of the group likes. I wonder whose view is closer to the truth.

Is this person very NT? My girlfriend has a close group of friends whom I like as people. There is one who annoys me, though. That's partly because she was a bit passive aggressive with me, but I realized that overall it's the experience of her (more than who she is) that sets off alarms for me. She's very expressive, very NT. In other words, very hard for me to read. She feels very fake to me, but they all love her. Is that at all like what you're describing? This woman and I are opposites, and I'm sure I rub her the wrong way for reasons she may have trouble pinpointing.

Raleigh, can you say any more about this "history" you have with the person? That could be very relevant to the present situation.

This person is an aspie, but yes, they're very passive aggressive and boastful and "fake" feeling, they've always made me feel a bit uncomfortable, tbh.

Are you sure everyone likes this person ? People can be fake as f**k. Why don't you ask your friends in your social group how they feel to see if they can put your mind at rest or feel the same way.
Sometimes people just creep you out and you can never put your finger on why ? It's almost like a sixth sense.

The situation was they invited my partner and myself to their house and I didn't feel comfortable about going but I didn't know how to tell them that and they just assumed I was coming even though I hadn't said I was and they kept going on about how they were going to do this and that when I came and in the end I got out of it by saying my partner didn't want to go (horrible thing to do, I know).
Then they started saying about how they were asexual (it was very odd, TMI) and saying they weren't interested in sex.
They kind of disappeared after that and when they returned one of the first things they said, kind of jokingly but not really was, "I can't believe I invited you to my house!"
They said a few other passive aggressive things to the group about "finding out who his friends were" and such which I think were passive aggressive statements aimed at me.
I admit I was to blame for the misunderstanding because I don't know how to assert myself, but I think they've been a bit of a dick about it too.

Last edited by Raleigh on 17 Dec 2018, 6:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I did confide in one person and he agreed that this person seems "off" but he hardly knows them so maybe he's just agreeing for the sake of agreeing?

Sounds like you may be onto something then , see if you can confide in someone else you trust.

^ what are we going to do then?
Have a witch hunt and put them in the dunking stool?
I'd really like to know how to resolve it so everything could go on as before but my gut's being really stubborn and tetchy.
Maybe I need some probiotics.

Sometimes getting things out in the open can be beneficial. Air your grievances , call them out?
Maybe a better idea would be to get a mediator to sort things ?
I don't know I'm in unknown territory here.
I know a member you can PM if you want probiotics up your arse

.

Last edited by AnneOleson on 17 Dec 2018, 9:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The mediator is a good idea.
I think I'm actually a bit afraid of this person.
I'm scared they'll tell me I'm imagining things and I'm being too sensitive because that's the kind of things they do.
Or they'll lose it and retaliate in a more aggressive way.

It's not good that you are afraid dude , have you talked to your partner about this. It is a risk reaching out , if you are dealing with an unstable person it could go either way.

It's hard because it's like no one else can see it, and I can't put my gut feeling up as evidence, so it's like everything's in my head.
This seems a recurring theme in my life, people psyching you out, or gaslighting you.

(Apologies for my pronoun disability)

If they've been passive-aggressive with you once, they'll do it again, it's only a matter of time. You are right to trust your gut.

Try to get along with everybody, but that's ALL you have to do - get along. No dunking stool, no witch hunt or smear campaign. I truly hope this issue doesn't cause you to lose the enjoyment you have from your social group.

I'm anxious about going to the group now, but I don't want to miss out on seeing everyone else, so I still go and just try to avoid that person as much as I can.
And I don't want them to leave the group either because others obviously like them, I don't want people taking sides or anything when it seems the problem is just between us.
What can I even do in the face of passive aggressiveness, there's no way you can deal with it really.
Such a shame some of the enjoyment's gone out of it because of a small misunderstanding.
I'd be happy to let bygones be bygones but doesn't look like they feel the same way.