Heartbreak and Confusing Feelings and Thoughts After

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It's been about two weeks since the man I was in a relationship with for months broke it off.
I didn't realize it at first, but my heart is broken bad.
I have anger and possibly some hate since he's betrayed my son and I, and had already been on a path of abandoning me emotionally and I guess mentally (psychologically?) for a few months before.
Ever since he's seen how my mental health really affects me, and the sensitivities, he started putting up a wall. And, I'm sure when I got pregnant is when he said in his head, "I can't commit to her in this situation." I might be imagining, but I'm pretty sure I saw a coward when I saw the look in his eyes after figuring out, like a scared little kid.
I mean, he should have known the consequences, he's grown, has a job, has experience in the child raising factor.
He kept saying he wasn't using me for sex...yeah right, wrong.
Anyway, that's what happens in my head, a spiel, like I can actually do something.
It's what happened when I talked to him to sometimes after, even when I tried to just talk business.
I ended up calling him a liar in my last text about this. And, said "I wish I never met him". And, stated that I wish I had someone who would actually work with me to take care of my son. That, I vowed was the last thing I would say that wasn't business.
Apparently, it hurt him (I don't know.) since now I'm straight to voicemail on his phone now, and he hasn't replied in days.

Then, there's the concerning thoughts when I look at my son, and think I see some of this man in him. I know it's not the child's fault. I'm just concerned.
I feel a lot of the frustration at times when I see my child and think of that man. I get angry. I want to hurt that man... it's sad. I wonder if other people have had a similar thing happen when a relationship went wrong but a child was made during it.

I wish I could've have chosen better for my son.
That may be part of this heartbreak that makes this so hard. I literally have felt so bad, I thought I was being attacked.

This is what's going on.

there is a lot of explosive, scary things u can say when u are angry/triggered/meltdown. some of them u start believing in, after. and then, u ofc could be right, too. the fact that he is hiding, means that u most likely were. healing will take time. sadly, there is no medication for a broken heart. or i'd have taken it... hold on. time heals most wounds...

You will meet someone new. And if you dont, maybe you dont need to rely on a man anyway. Lots of single mothers out there who cope. Its probably more of a challenge but Im sure its possible to be single with kids. But I think after a while you will meet someone new that likes kids.

I had a guy betray me. I thought we would be together forever. But he left me because I wasnt making any money and he didnt want to support me. He got another girlfrend just like that. It took me a few years to get over it.

I'm starting to separate some of these things in my mind.
- He's good for nothing.
- He's a con artist.
- He's not accepting true responsibility.
- My son is a new life that doesn't have to seen as potentially being like him.

That brings up the fact that if I force paternity, that man may have some rights.
It doesn't look like he even cares though, or would even have time.
I don't want my son anywhere near him.

yes, rights given to somebody, who might abuse it in the future, is a danger. con artist, not accepting responsibility? does indeed sounds line a narcissistic type. run and dont look back, u've escaped it as u did.