I've never wanted money so badly :(

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When I was employed, I was at least happy, because I was bringing home money that I earned. I am now on disability, and have regretted leaving a job I didn't like working in, and now because I have been unemployed for 4+ years, no one will hire me. I am getting a volunteer opportunity in the botanical garden's library, but I doubt it will lead to a career opportunity, because I don't have a job and no one will be interested in hiring someone with a disability anyway. F**k my life!

I take it that, once you pay the rent and buy the necessary groceries with your disability payment, you're broke?

No, but I don't feel like it's enough. Both my husband and I are on disability, and make a combined $1400 a month. But I have read stories on WP about other members here being successful with their jobs. I want a library job like Marknis and Kraftie, but no one wants me because I am unemployed, even though I have the necessary qualifications. I want to sort and put away books and do data entry, and be paid and rewarded. Even though I look forward to the volunteer opportunity at the botanical garden's library, I also dread it because I won't be paid. I want to ask the librarian there if it will lead to a job opportunity, but he will probably say no. It's not like he would hire me off the bat anyway if he wanted to.

seconded every word, only that for me it'd be "create 3d models and...". related and related. sorry, im too thin for a good supportive post, please take this one(

Can’t you say you took care of a close relative for all those four years?

I doubt a prospective employer can find out you’re on SSI/SSDI.

My mom did have a stroke last year, but I doubt even that would sway them, only because she has since made a full recovery. My grandmother had back problems for years, so that may be more believable.

I also thought of selling my Perler bead creations on Etsy, but I have been unmotivated lately and don't really feel like making anything.

Shell only be able to work limited hours and explain why, probably need a accommodation for his disability to get it. I had to do the above.
Like the op if I lost my job I wouldn’t find another unless I lie and say I can work full time then after hired request a accommodation but I suspect they’d fire me for lying.
Finding a job that will hire someone working 15-20 hours max is hard if not impossible.

I fear I’m near being fired so soon I’ll be in same situation as op.

Hugs to op

If they really wanted to fire you, they would have done it by now.

My husband and I went to a friend's New Years Eve party, and I felt left out because she and most of her friends who attended the party had jobs. I hate having to explain to everyone I was on disability because it felt like they were judging me, even thought they were also on the spectrum. I just want to die...

I’m disabled. If they fire me they have to have really bad stuff on me or face a lawsuit and they know that. That’s why they’re paying so much attention to me while not caring most everyone else slacks off.

I know how that is. People at work ask me all the time why I don’t work more hours, why I’m not working a real job, etc. I don’t want to tell them I’m on disability so I try to avoid it without lying but eventually I’m going habe to lie.

That volunteer job may not pay money, but it could pay off in terms of a job offer or good reference.

If I were you I would go to that volunteer job and do it as if the whole thing were going to lead to a job offer. Then it might actually lead to one if you work like someone they want to hire. And if they're not hiring because they simply don't need staff, if you gave it an honest effort, they could give you a letter of recommendation that could help you get your foot in the door at another library that is hiring.

This volunteer opportunity could have a lot more value to it than you think! It can be whatever you make of it. If you begrudgingly do your volunteer duties because you're focused on the fact that you're not getting paid, well, you might give off a bad vibe and they won't want to hire or recommend you. But if you do what needs doing professionally and get along with everyone while maintaining a good attitude and pleasant demeanour, you may get a job offer or at least a good reference.

At least there are two of you, if you both pay the rent it is half the expense and that is still something. I lived on much less money earlier in life. Be glad for what you have.

Maybe you can find some remote work, take classes in a new profession, find a part time job in a field you haven't considered.

witchcat, and what do u say to somebody, who is disabled in fact, but not in paper? getting on disability is nigh possible here, and then u get pretty much nothing even if u do. when i read about how people get some noticable amounts of disability funds for as much as being autistic, i cant feel but... like empty space.
i totally relate to this sense of unfullfillment u have. i have it too. i dont mean to devalue ur suffering, dont get me wrong. but i cant help it, to feel u are not realising, what it is when ur state is not even in disability list... when u are denied as much as acknowledgement. i am disabled both mentally and physically, and i have to deal with that alone. and have my skills decaying, because i cant even see the interface any longer, because it is traumatizing me, because of acute sense lf senselessness. and then somebody will say i am attention-whorring here. get up, get going. what goldfish here had said. i am such a b***h today, and maybe i will regret it, but i cant take it any longer. feel free to slam my ass out of ur thread if u feel like i am wrong.

Unless you can find an actual, paid job, take the volunteer position. There are plenty of reasons to do so:

1. It'll look better on your record than just sitting at home, so it'll be make finding a job more likely, even if just a little bit.

2. When someone (as in a neighbor or something) asks you what you do, you can say you work at a library. You work for free, yes, but they won't know that unless they ask how much you earn.

3. It'll keep you from forgetting how to handle that kind of job and how to stay in a routine of a working person.

4. If you prove yourselve to be useful and they need more staff, the chances that they'd rather hire you than use time to teach the rules and ways of that particular place to someone new are high.
This more or less happened to me. In Decemeber 2017, I entered this training program for a month. I didn't feel like I needed it, but I knew it'd look better on my record than being at home, so I went. After the first month, I was asked if I'd do two more. Before that I'd been unemployed for rather long and I only did 16 hours a week in the training program, so I thought why not since I hadn't gotten bored yet. From the start they'd made it clear they wouldn't hire anyone new, yet when my two months was almost up I was asked if I'd like to work for them. Being unemployed, I said yes of course despite the position being part time and only with a short contract. I'm still at the same place, having gotten few new short contracts. The point is that despite saying that they won't hire anyone, they still did. My guess is that they said it because they didn't want to have any pressure to hire me in case I turned out to be too lazy or sloppy worker. So even if they say at the volunteer position that no one will be hired, do your job as well as possible. It just might pay off.

And hey, it's not impossible to get a job despite those things. I've been unemployed for long time periods, have education for a career that is rapidly losing jobs, have a physical disability on top of my autism yet I'm still working. Disabilities slow people down, but they don't always block the entire way.

I definitely plan on going to the library regardless. My mom and husband are very supportive of me, and so is my support administrator. I'll worry about getting a job a little later in the future; my husband is selling his DeLorean so he can buy his dad's '93 Jaguar, so we will get additional money in the future. But it's still something to think about now and then.