I can't cope living where I am

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I'm not sure what to do. I feel mentally wiped out by living in this area and with the neighbours I have. I don't fit in here at all. I wear corduroy pants, shirts and cardigans and walk everywhere; I also tend to keep to myself. Most the people here are street smart, very focused on looking sporty and fashionable in a modern, urban, "street" way and as a lot of them are descended from Irish people they're even more talkative than most people.

More or less I'm drinking myself into an early grave. I'm afraid of going outside the front door because my next door neighbour scares me. His manner is gruff and he sighs whenever he's walked past me, even though I say a friendly "Are you alright?" which is the standard greeting around here. He leaves bags full of junk, his trainers and sticks he has for his dog outside on the shared balcony we have and also when he gets home from driving his motorbike bangs the dirt off his boots on the balcony for a minute. The repeating bang, bang, bang is unsettling.

When I go around town for walks and shopping I feel unsafe. There are angry looking men everywhere, I don't know, though, is this just how Britain is now? In the Brexit era there's a lot of anger about. Partly it's that I can't cope with poverty. I grew up in a more wealthy area, a quiet village.

Some days I wake up with numbness in my abdomen from drinking too much, like pins and needles across my whole stomach. I get diarhoea many days too.

Sometimes I wonder if I could live on the road. I can do tarot readings and I guess gypsies have made a living from that and I'm not a gypsy but maybe I could survive doing it. I wouldn't feel good being homeless on the street, I'm not street smart enough. I've considered travelling to Europe and trying to do the tarot cards there but then I'm worried I'll be discriminated against as there's a lot of hatred directed towards gypsies and people associate tarot with them (even though it's actually Jewish, originating from the Kaballah).

Get off the booze! That's the first order of business. Nothing is going to get better until you do! Believe me, I have been there.

I know alcohol isn't all that great but you have to understand that I'm in a desperate situation. I have to go out every day and I'm scared of going outside the front door without being drunk, because of my neighbour.

Have you ever considered moving to Canada? The small town where I live has a low crime rate. The city however does not. Its easy being poor here beause of all the charities we have right now. And people think tarot reading are cool here. They will not think your a gypsy.

You should be just as scared of booze as you are those angry fellows. The angry fellows might not kill you but the booze will.

I can sympathize with that, as I currently have some pretty dodgy neighbors living next to me. Just a few days ago, a huge argument broke out between two of the tenants that almost ended in physical violence. They burn brush in the middle of the night -- in violation of a city ordinance.

In the not too distant past, I self-medicated to the tune of nearly a bottle and a half of whisky a day! It's a dead end road! I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, of course. But do whatever you need to stop drinking. If you're having pains in your abdomen, it's already taking its toll. Get the help you need! Nothing will get better until you do.

Yeah its hard to know this is happening to such a nice guy. Please get help.

I lost my niece to end stage liver failure due to alcoholism, just three months ago. I'm sorry but I can't be supportive of your plan to drink yourself to death. People here are telling you that priority #1 is to stop drinking, but you have lame-ass reasons why you can't. Your brain is addled so that you can't see the illogic of your ways.

I hope you can change; but I won't support and encourage you as long as you have this plan of slow suicide. I know nothing about treatment alternatives in the U.K. but you must do whatever is necessary to stop drinking.

Are you on propertypoolplus yet? I was in an awful apartment block filled with drug addicts who would blast their music so loud you could hear it 300ft away. It took me a couple of years to get a better place to live but it was worth it.

Also if people are being rude or hostile its best not to let onto them maybe avoid eye contact but in a non submissive manor, look through them not away from them.

You're probably right. I'm trying to think of ways to not be crippled by anxiety, that don't involve alcohol. I'm seeing the doctor on Monday. BTW kudos to you for managing to live where you are, those don't sound like ideal neighbours!



I'm going to try to find some kind of help to tide me over for now. Thanks for caring. A while ago I had someone who met up with me a couple of times a week, I might be able to get something like that again. I saw someone had posted an ad in a shop window advertising that they do care work. Canada's a nice country, I would consider moving there, I'd probably go to British Columbia if I was allowed entry since I'm a wimp with cold weather.



I see where you're coming from. I'm sorry you lost her in that way. Your post has kind of shocked me into wanting to change more, I don't want to face that ending.



I'm glad your situation improved, I know you went through some really hard times. However I didn't go on Propertypoolplus because I feel this area isn't for me. I've moved around a lot over the years, North Wales, Mid Wales, Greater Manchester, and I'm still looking for the place that feels like home.

I am assuming you are on housing benefit which really limits where you can live, I think you have to be more practical. You probably won't be able to afford to live anywhere that feels like home. Your home is your sanctuary, its the place you are meant to feel most safe and secure its better to live in a less desirable area if your home is peaceful. My old place was near Sefton park I used to love walking around there seeing it change throughout the seasons I'd even go on in rain, now I never leave the house but my living situation is worth it because I am not living in constant stress.

I'm glad to hear you're seeing a doctor. If you want a shoulder to lean on, PM me. Take care!

I think that where one lives makes a huge difference in quality of life, especially for us aspies. That said, you're not going anywhere unless you stop drinking. It hurts my heart to see you killing yourself bit by bit.

What services are available to stop drinking in the UK? Are there Alcoholics Anonymous meetings near you? I spent many years in Alanon and met many interesting people in AA. They were so supportive.

You know you can always pm me, too.

I feel you. It sucks. Hope you’re ok.

I lived in some rough areas in my 20s after being brought up as a nice middle class boy, it was extremely challenging.

I remember a neighbor of mine being completely out of his mind in the middle of the night, shouting at people in their houses (including me) to come out and fight with him, it seemed to go on for ever, it was terrifying, he ended up cutting his hand to ribbons by smashing the glass in somebody's front door, an ambulance came and he was then in floods of tears saying how sorry he was. I had teenagers trying to break in round the back, constant music (bass) through the walls, kids skimming stones at me as I walked up the hill carrying my shopping. How do people live like this indefinitely? Fortunately I got out. I should remember those times more often and not get so depressed about where my head is at now.

It will feel like you're going to be stuck there forever but hopefully something can happen for you. Sometimes you do have to take the initiative and set change in motion.

British Columbia is nice but expensive as hell to live there. Plus theres drug problems, homelessness. Aint no homless people in my town. You should move here! There are a lot of british people around here for some reason. Nice british people.