Husband having a physical problem now

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BeaArthur
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08 Mar 2019, 10:34 am

Some of you will remember that my husband has Alzheimer's. The plan at present is to keep him at home as long as possible, using in-home supports as needed. Also, I have a physical disability limiting my ability to stand and walk.

Currently, my husband has developed a painful condition in one leg (tentative diagnosis, bursitis) making him have some of the same problems as I have. So now, not only do I have to do things like scheduling his appointments and dispensing his meds, but I am doing all the cooking and putting things away. I am definitely finding this challenging and tiring.

I described it to my daughter thus: He will continue to decline, and at each stage of decline, I have to adjust my expectations and my role. Not the easiest thing for an autistic to do. My goal is to not only support his health, but for both of us to be happy during these declining years.

We are using two mobility scooters now. I said we should each wear a fez and look like the Shriners in local parades, weaving around on our little scooters. Ha ha.

Yesterday my 2-hr-a-week new college graduate home assistant was here, and I finally admitted I was unable to keep up with my paperwork, and taught her how to do my filing. It was SO HELPFUL. If I needed a stapler or a label, she could go get it for me, rather than me have to stumble around the apartment fetching it myself. Hand her some paid bills - voila, they are immediately filed.

No real big complaints here, just feeling a little bit pushed to my limits.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2019, 10:35 am

I know the feeling.

If it's not one thing, it's another.

Things pile up on us, and overwhelm us.



serpentari
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08 Mar 2019, 10:51 am

being a disabled caregiver myself, i fully relate. on bad days, even sitting is hard for me, let alone doing chores.
(tho in my case, its a toddler kid, so my life might get a bit easier as she grows up, rather than harder)
u logically have every reason to feel overwhelmed and even frustrated. well at least, the issue with ur husband's leg is not permanent, it can be subsided with the right treatment. so his mobility should increase, lessening the pressure on u. so hold on...


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Luhluhluh
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08 Mar 2019, 1:30 pm

It's definitely a benefit to have help. A husband/wife cannot possibly be expected to do 100% of everything for a spouse with something like Alzheimer's because it's going to get progressively more and more difficult. Not trying to be a downer either, that's just the facts so best to be mentally prepared for it.

Do you know if you have access to respite care? Because you may find you need that too just to keep your sanity.


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CockneyRebel
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08 Mar 2019, 1:39 pm

Sweet Pea hugs


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BeaArthur
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08 Mar 2019, 1:49 pm

I will pursue respite care when that is needed, but right now, I can still leave my husband alone safely.


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BeaArthur
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08 Mar 2019, 1:50 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Sweet Pea hugs

Thanks for the Sweet Pea hugs. :)


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BeaArthur
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08 Mar 2019, 1:51 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
I will pursue respite care when that is needed, but right now, I can still leave my husband alone safely.

It's more a matter of having more responsibilities and being able to rely on him less.... like for physical things like loading my scooter into the car, or putting groceries away. It's tiring, mentally and physically.


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serpentari
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08 Mar 2019, 2:11 pm

it is. well, at least, if i understand correct, he doesnt disrupt u doing that work ^^


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Angnix
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08 Mar 2019, 4:07 pm

awww understand completely. My husband is getting worse too. It's so hard I understand completely needing help.

*Hugs*


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IsabellaLinton
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08 Mar 2019, 5:53 pm

Hugs to you, Bea.

It will be a difficult path for you as your husband progresses through his illness but you have remarkable courage and clever ideas, such as training your home assistant. Vent to us whenever you need more support.


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BeaArthur
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08 Mar 2019, 6:01 pm

Thanks so much, friends!

We just got back from buying him a really nice lift recliner. It came to about $1400 with delivery, but I just wanted to get one in a single outing. Plus once he has his own lift recliner - I get mine back! :)


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serpentari
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08 Mar 2019, 6:13 pm

congrats)))
and gj for silver lining)


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beware the ire of the patient ones!
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kraftiekortie
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08 Mar 2019, 6:23 pm

Does Medicare reimburse you for what you bought?



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08 Mar 2019, 7:01 pm

It sounds to me like you are taking positive steps to adapt to the increasing disabilities. I have found making purchases such as you did with the recliner really worth while. And having someone to "walk" around to get stuff is good. Good choices will continue to serve you well. You have demonstrated your capacity to make good choices and I suspect you will continue to do so. Good luck and I hope things go as well as possible for you and your husband.


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blazingstar
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08 Mar 2019, 7:02 pm

^^^ I hope that didn't sound judgmental. What I meant by "good" was choices that serve you well.


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