Do you ever experience this type of moments?

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I am content with living with Aspergers but once in a while. I have these random moments where I stop and think about how different my life is from NTs. I always get in a world of shock since I live my life day by day and that gets put to a halt when I am reminded how unusual my reality is.

I get this too, except I'm not content with having AS. But I can push it to the back of my mind and get on with my life. That is, until a day comes where I literally panic about having AS. Usually this occurs during PMT, or if I haven't cried in a while and negative emotions have all built up. That's when I start beating myself up inside for all the stupid or bad things I've ever done due to AS, or all the people who have treated me differently or were nasty to me because I have AS. I just know that if I were NT I would have been included by my peers through high school instead of being the dumb special needs kid that no-one really liked, just existing rather than living. If only I could start my life all over again as an NT and relive my childhood not being held back by some rotten disability that I didn't ask for.

Yes, things I did when I was younger do come back to haunt me, and I hate it when people say "move on". It's not always as simple as that.

Yeah i do but after that i also think of people with physical disabilities, people with mental disorders, chronic illnesses etc. I think world sucks in general not only for us.

there seem to be 2 types of autistics those who blame their autism problems on their autism and those who blame their autism problems on the rest of the world for not understanding

Im in the latter