How can I help someone with depression?

Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia

01 Oct 2019, 12:28 am

I know some people with depression. I try to cheer them and nothing seems to work. Then I remember that back when I had depression, all that cheerful stuff seemed patronising and sickeningly sweet. Back then listening to optomistic talk felt like eating fruit loops in sweetened condendensed milk with a pound of sugar sprinkled on top.

So how can I help people with depression when I know they'll find optomistic stuff vile?


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,904
Location: Outter Quadrant

01 Oct 2019, 12:40 am

Just try to be there for them.


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


magz
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,283
Location: Poland

01 Oct 2019, 1:55 am

Listen to them. Accept them, including their sorrow. Sometimes helping to name one's feelings helps - makes it easier to sort things out.
Depression often stems from inability to process difficult feelings. In such case, they have to surface before it can get better.


_________________
Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


fluffysaurus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,723
Location: England

01 Oct 2019, 4:34 am

I'm the same; when I'm depressed and people tell me I don't have any problems and how lucky I am it makes me

much worse to the extent that I rarely tell anyone when I'm depressed which isolates me. What I would really

appreciate is being able to talk about my problems without being judged or having it implied they aren't real. In the

end we all have to crawl our own way out of the pit but this is much harder when everyone is under minding you by

telling you you're imagining the pit. It just adds to the self doubt, frustration, and sense of not being understood.

Emphasising good points and strengths in the other person can help but only if they are believable.

It's nice that you want to help.



Persephone29
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2019
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,395
Location: Everville

01 Oct 2019, 9:52 pm

Like so many others have said, 'just listen.' But, don't forget to take care of yourself.

I cannot pour from an empty well and I have found that if I'm not taking care of myself too, they will bring me down faster than I can bring them up. Then, we're both depressed. I have stopped offering solutions and the only levity I bring is what evolves naturally from the conversations.

The friends/family that I try and be there for need medication, but they won't take it. I need medication and I take it. To me, it's not fair to my friends or family to be non-compliant. Some people don't think in terms of others... they just think, "I don't like medication, so I'm not taking it." And that's their right... Then, it's just up to me how long I can stand it.


_________________
Disagreeing with you doesn't mean I hate you, it just means we disagree.

Neurocognitive exam in May 2019, diagnosed with ASD, Asperger's type in June 2019.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 Oct 2019, 6:39 am

I believe in “reality testing,” rather than providing the “rose-colored glasses” viewpoint.

If someone who weighs 120 lbs thinks he/she is fat, I would tell them that I might be the same height, and I weigh 180, and ask that someone: do I look fat?”