I wish I was dead.

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Really, I hate existing. And I'm sorry if that's "too dramatic".

I'm pretty sure that most of us have felt like that at one time or another... some for longer than others. What's making you feel this way? Where are you at in your life ... teen .... midway .... later years? Sending hugs(if that helps).

I'm 29.

I just really hate having bipolar disorder. It feels like a curse that will follow me for the rest of my life. It effecs everything from relationships to my ability to enjoy entertainment.

What are your "best" days like?

Maybe you could do with a chat to your Doc about changing med dosage ....? Really feel for you. Are you self medicating in any way?

That's very good that you're not self-medicating. A major plus. Moving is going to create a period of turmoil, goes without saying, but you CAN get through this. Make sleep a priority. Try to get seven to eight hours per night, and wake up at the same time each morning. Remember ... the way you think .... effects the way you feel. While medications help to stabilize mood, they don’t change your thinking patterns. Do you practice mindfullness at all? Do you have a good support system?

Hi Tw1zt, I'm glad you aren't dead. You just seem really passionate in your posts and I am too. I don't know if you have noticed but I relate to you completely different outside the political forums. I try to leave arguing there.

We were just learning mindfulness in a class I was forced to attend. There were two reminders we used during ours CALM and ALTER. Each of those letters stands for something and it's a way of checking in with yourself, being in the moment and being okay. There's probably more to it, but I haven't gotten that far yet.

Sure ... The backbone of treatment is medication. But psychotherapy is enormously important, mindfullness can be very effective. Learning to change the negative stories swirling in your head may help prevent depressive episodes, or at least, lessen them. Mindfulness or “living in the present moment" helps you to be more self aware. We become more aware of our thoughts, our emotions, and our physical sensations because we’re in the present moment more often, and because we’re working on allowing ourselves to have these experiences, like moving hosue, even if they’re painful. This self-awareness may prevent symptoms from escalating. By being more mindful, you can spot an emotion and figure out what to do about it — “if anything” – before letting it careen into a full-blown episode. Those who are suffering the most tend to benefit the most from Mindfulness. You need to find a qualified Mindfulness teacher who specialises in Bipolar. It's usually an 8 week course. It needs to be adapted for you. Wish I could assist more. It can give you reduced residual depressive symptoms, fewer attentional difficulties, and increased emotional regulation abilities, psychological well-being, positive affect, and psychosocial functioning, according to the literature, so, I'd strongly recommend a course. You need stress reduction, so for now ...

Seated breathing techniques are usually the best place for beginners to start.

This is the easiest meditation technique to learn.

Essentially you sit and focus your mind on your breathing.

This slows your mind down and helps to create internal balance and harmony (thereby helping to regulate the lows and highs of bipolar disorder)

One of the common symptoms of bipolar disorder is that it makes it hard to control your breathing. By using breathing meditations you can take control of your breathing. This will help you to relax when you have a mania.

My best advice for now, as it's getting late here in the UK, but know that I'm thinking of you and that you Can and you Will get through this move and beyond. There is hope that your life will change significantly, if your mum can possibly find you someone to work with you on this. Meanwhile, here's a link to assist with techniques further ...
https://www.thedailymeditation.com/cbt-exercises

Stay strong ... get some rest, and try to detach from your negative thoughts using some of the above techniques/exercises. Wish I could help you more ...

Been there but I think we should both take the default option of living because I tend to worry death might be boring.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

(((Tw1zt)))

Now im starting to think i made a mistake coming back for the millionth time.

I don't believe anybody here really likes me. They either have it out for me because of the stupid things I sometimes say no matter how hard I try to change or they feel completely indifferent towards.

^
Dude, some of us never even saw these stupid things you claim you're saying

You're fun, you sometimes have interesting ideas and you generally come across as a nice and cool person - why wouldn't at least some people here like you?