I don’t have any female friends I know in person

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Aside from one person who I haven’t seen in person for some months now, I don’t have any female friends in person. A lot of this has to do with the gender roles of the culture I live in. Women I encounter tend to stick to other women as far as friendships go and once they have a boyfriend or husband, the men usually won’t let them have male friends unless the male friend is himself in a relationship. This really discourages me and it feels like people are less interested in making new friends as the years grind on for me. I am not getting any younger and I am at the age I should be comfortable socially.

Wish I could help. I feel bad because the only friend I have is 81.

Brother Marknis, I wish I could help too, but most females who I know are close to, at, or past retirement age.

Same here, I stopped caring about relationships but I really wished I could of had a female presence in my life especially considering I don't have any sisters. I wished to the high heavens that I could of had a sister.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is very common among aspie males, this world is brutal on us. Like a lot of us don't even care about a relationship anymore, we just want a female presence -- someone to talk to -- at least one. But a lot of us don't even get that, hence we live each day with a kind of void. It sucks not having any sisters.

What I do, instead, is focus on male friendships, and hobbies and try not to think about it too much because it is a big depressant.

You're in Boston.

Have you tried going to any of the autistic/Aspie support groups in and around Boston?

There's a Boston Adults with Aspergers Meetup, and there are AANE's Ongoing/Drop-In Support Groups for Adults in Massachusetts.

Admittedly you'll probably encounter very high male-to-female ratios in these groups, so I wouldn't recommend them as a place to look for a girlfriend, but they might be decent places to find friends including hopefully a female friend or two.

Why would you need female friends specifically? There isn't really anything you could do with them that you couldn't do with male friends, unless you're hoping one of them would develope to a relationship of course.

And if you want some, you need to go out there and socialize. I think you've mentioned something about being really awkward, especially with women, so you should probably get some practice with men first. Once you can talk to men without any major trouble, then move to women. You can't run before you learn how to walk. Of course, you could talk to women directly, but if you can't talk normally at all, the chances are high that they don't want to be in your company. Same with men, sure, but considering your situation, messing up around men would probably hurt less. You just need to keep trying to learn how to socialize. If you clam up and stop trying for a long time after every little failure, you'll never get any results. You just need to work on it. You can't expect things to change without putting in any effort.

Oh I don't actually live in boston (used to) but I set my location there for people to get a good idea of where I'm from since I live next to there. But yikes, that Meet Up group is pretty much dead lol.

I've actually looked at that AANE group before, there is actually a meet up group like 20 minutes from me. Though I don't do well with groups, as I get more reserved. There is a "Videogames and pizza night" that they do, which looks like fun, I thought about going but IDK. I never do well with groups, I prefer talking to people 1-on-1, and groups tend to give me sensory overload (which contributes to me staying quiet). Groups just aren't within my personality, sadly.



Women and men are different, if you had nothing but female friends you would feel a lack of a male presence. Women have something to offer that men don't; and men have something to offer that women don't, which is why both are needed to raise a child.

Nah, not really. I have both male and female friends and while they have individual differences, nothing really puts a clear line between men and women. Also, you don't need a male and a female to raise a child. I know plenty of people who've been raised by women only and turned out just fine (and many who've been raised by a man and a woman but turned out very messed up.)

You've never been there, so you don't understand. Additionally, the differences between the genders are immense. Women have a thing called 'the medium is the message', meaning that, the way a woman says something, says more than the contents itself, but for men it's the opposite. When men speak it's about the contents hence to understand a lady you have to observe HOW she's speaking instead of WHAT she is speaking. In essence men and women speak two different languages, one is about the medium the other is about the content. Skillful men who understand how to read women will talk about this as it occurs because men are usually making the mistake of trying to understand women as they understand men, leading to dysfunction. Women can read other other's language just fine, but men can't.

Women are nurturers so they give to children confidence, whereas men establish their limits by guiding them towards things that they're good at. You'd see this when a mother is complimenting their child's poor drawing, saying "it's amazing" in order to spur confidence in the child. Men don't tend to do this, which is why mothers are valuable. Later on in life that's when the fathers will guide their children to what they excel at, but a mother's duty is to maintain a kind of broadness in the child to test the waters to what they might be gifted in, hence women tend to be generalists while men tend to be specialists. This is why women find emotionally fulfilling work such as teaching more appealing as it let's them remain broad in order to nurture children.

It's possible for single parents to raise a good child, but not likely, if you’d notice something about school shooters and mass shooters is that they tend to come from broken homes, the father has something that the child wants, as does the mother.

Wholesome families raise wholesome children, everyone wants a mother and a father for good reason.

That's just BS... a big reason for why many women do this and men that is also simply because they've been raised to think that women have to act one way and men the other. The brainwash goes strong even in this day and age.

Admittedly, a relationship is part of the reason but it’s also because women, especially if they aren’t brainwashed by the Bible Belt, can be more open minded than men can be. I also don’t want to hang out with just male friends.

I don't think that's a gender thing. A person either is or isn't openminded... then again, in a conservative culture women might be more accepting in general since many men are too busy with being "real men" and being nice to people doesn't really fit well in to that. Or at least when I hear the term "a real man", I first think of some brainless macho.

If you root for Donald Trump, own guns, watch football religiously (church is only a Sunday thing for men while women are expected to go to church on Wednesday as well), use the word liberal negatively, drive dangerously, blast country music or hard rock like Ted Nugent, say bad things about women, prioritize watching South Park over reading, and think Islam must be destroyed, you are considered a “real man” in the culture I live in. If you have a different political view, don’t own weapons or any besides bladed ones, dance, defend liberal ideas, drive carefully, listen to music outside of the aforementioned genres above, see women as fellow human beings, actually enjoy reading, and point out that Christianity and Islam actually agree on many positions, you are considered “weak”, possibly gay, depressed, a “pothead” (Very hypocritical considering how rednecks smoke the stuff), a hippie, and a socialist or communist.

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Don't derail this thread with sexist and homophobic nonsense.

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Sounds like you need to visit us in Canada! If you were to brag about guns or profess any positive sentiments about Trump, you would be pretty much be ignored as a crazy nut if you didn't have the police called on you first. I was quite shocked when I visited the USA that even shortly after crossing the border people openly displayed pro-gun, racist and sexist bumper stickers. Even in the hardcore redneck areas of Alberta you NEVER see that here.

^ So... we gonna start Get Markins to Canada and Make Sure He Stays -project? Certainly the place couldn't be any worse for him than where he lives now.