Not leaving home

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I started university education this year but now im not going anymore. So im always at home (no job or anything). The problem is i have mental illnesses like social anxiety and depression. I have nearly zero self confidence and i cant do anything. Therapy doesnt work that much. Now im helpless. Im getting older and my life doesnt seem to get better. I dont want to turn 22 in this situation (its inevitable). What would you do if you were me? Im stuck at home without a social life.

Why did you stop going to university?

You indicated that you suffer from social anxiety and depression.

Depression comes for stress. Stress produces chemical reactions in your body. In order to attack depression one needs to return their body back to a neutral state by venting this stored stress energy.

My recommendation is to read two books.

These are:
"In an Unspoken Voice" by Peter A. Levine [This book explains stress from a neurological perspective.]
"The Revolutionary Trauma Release Process" by David Berceli [This book explains one unusual form of exercise (shivering) to vent stress energy in your core. This type of exercise is sometimes called TRE or Trauma Releasing Exercises.;

The following YouTube video provides a little insight into this form of exercise.

I don't know about others but in my case depression is not linked with any kind of "stored energy". It's actually linked with (triggered by) long-lasting debt of energy.
I figured out staying at home, talking to no one and doing nothing are the best things I can to to get out of my depression. I needed some training to do the above without feeling guilty or fearing going insane - it's exactly against the typical advice for social anxiety and depression - but following the typical advice makes my depression worse.

Highly_Autistic, you need to figure out what makes you feel better and do more of it. If it's something, do more of something. If it's nothing, do more of nothing. Try to learn to listen to your body.

When somebody drops out of University, it's pretty difficult for that someone to get re-admitted. Especially in certain nations. Even though it's not so difficult in places like the United States.

Aside from the "social aspect," what caused you to be stressed while attending University, Highly Autistic?

I am referring to "stored stress energy". This is hormonal energy that is stored in the muscles and nervous system.

In 1915, Walter Bradford Cannon coined the term “fight or flight” to describe an animal's response to threats in pain, hunger, fear and rage. His theory states that animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing. More specifically, the adrenal medulla produces a hormonal cascade that results in the secretion of catecholamines, especially norepinephrine and epinephrine.

This response is recognized as the first stage of a "general adaptation syndrome" that regulates stress responses among vertebrates and other organisms.

* The autonomic nervous system is a control system that acts largely unconsciously and regulates heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, pupillary response, urination, and sexual arousal. This system is the primary mechanism in control of the fight-or-flight response and its role is mediated by two different components.
* The sympathetic nervous system originates in the spinal cord and its main function is to activate the physiological changes that occur during the fight or flight response. This component of the autonomic nervous system utilizes and activates the release of norepinephrine in the reaction.
* The parasympathetic nervous system originates in the spinal cord and medulla and works in concert with the sympathetic nervous system. Its main function is to activate the "rest and digest" response and return the body to homeostasis after the fight or flight response. This system utilizes and activates the release of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine.

The reaction begins in the amygdala, which triggers a neural response in the hypothalamus. The initial reaction is followed by activation of the pituitary gland and secretion of the hormone ACTH. The adrenal gland is activated almost simultaneously and releases the neurotransmitter epinephrine. The release of chemical messengers results in the production of the hormone cortisol, which increases blood pressure, blood sugar, and suppresses the immune system. The initial response and subsequent reactions are triggered in an effort to create a boost of energy. This boost of energy is activated by epinephrine binding to liver cells and the subsequent production of glucose. Additionally, the circulation of cortisol functions to turn fatty acids into available energy, which prepares muscles throughout the body for response. Catecholamine hormones, such as adrenaline (epinephrine) or noradrenaline (norepinephrine), facilitate immediate physical reactions associated with a preparation for violent muscular action.

The problem in human is that we have several brain components that work collectively and the outmost brain is the social brain. (Very few animals evolved this outermost brain structure.) In many cases under threat (stressor), these hormones chains are released within our bodies but because our social brain inhibit us from acting on these, the stress energy is not consumed but rather is stored. Long term storage throws our bodies out of balance and can lead to distress such as depression.

For example, a young Aspie may exhibit a tic by waving their hands in the air. This helps by relieving or venting their stress energy. But others tell the child this hand shaking is unacceptable in modern society. So the child stops waving their hands in the air when they get excited. But now there is no release of stress energy because the child's social brain now tells them not to exhibit this trait. It is like a metal teapot where one has welded the vent shut. You heat up the metal teapot and it will eventually explodes.

Last edited by jimmy m on 20 Nov 2019, 1:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm fully aware of fight-or-flight reactions.
They don't generate energy, they just focus it. If your general energy is low, adrenaline forces you to produce it anyway, creating debt.
In that case, rest in safe environment is vital.

An embarrasing thing happened.

If i decide to start going to another university i will need to wait for 1 year (exam required to enter uni). But im too late for everything, i dont know what to do anymore.

I've been that way since high school. When the world is too painful to move around in, you really don't care all that much if you aren't hitting milestones, simply because they do more than break bones when they fall on you. The question everyone needs to ask themselves if the rewards are worth the pain, then you weigh it up. This is of course if you're actually capable/borderline in regards to moving in the world; some people never will be, some people will only be with help, some can get by but it's not easy, and it goes on from there through the list to the lucky ones that have no trouble getting by. The group that can sorta get by with help, are probably the most unlucky when they have no opportunities for help from family and/or community/government. Thems the breaks, though.

Though, my medical folder is a little different (no social anxiety or depression), so mileages and experiences, and what do I do? The best I can. There's always ways you can help out if you have a modicum of ability, say, chores for family members or helping out those who have it harder (volunteering), so they have it easier. There's probably low paying community jobs like cleaning up trash and such too if you need money (which have very little social ability required). Most areas have social services that can provide info on these things.

I finished up a lot of my senior year of high school online. I'm considering doing the same with college.

That’s a really good idea.

Are there online courses where you are, Highly Autistic?

Online school is meaningless for me when it comes to depression. I mean it won't make me feel any better because ill be at home most of the time.

Probably you are right. Stress is the cause of my depression and social anxiety, obsessive thinking.

If you can't get in next year, try to get in the next year after that.

In reality, it doesn't matter if you graduate at age 22, or graduate at 24....as long as you graduate.

After finishing my first year of college, my family moved from Texas to California. I applied to the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA). I turned in my application and a few weeks later I received a rejection notice. UCLA required a 3.4 GPA for an out of state student and I only had a 3.3.

I had not turned in any other applications because I thought I would be going to UCLA. So it meant that I had no options. Well maybe not NO options. I sent the application back to UCLA and asked for a waiver. A few weeks later the package was returned to me DENIED. At this point, I still was not ready to give up. So I visited the college in person and requested an exemption. Several weeks went by and then I finally received another letter in the mail. They said they would accept my application, that I would be put on probation for a year and must maintain a high scholastic standard. They said that since my major was Physics and since there was a dirge of applicants in this field, they decided to give me a chance.

So I guess what I am saying is that some rules are not set in concrete but can be bendable especially if one is persistent.

It sounds like you need a hobby or a short term goal to enrich your life while you wait for your university course to start, OP.