My boyfriend is so grumpy lately

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Joe90
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05 Dec 2019, 6:42 pm

He really is not himself lately. I've tried asking him if there's anything wrong but it just causes an argument starting with him saying that I worry too much. But if I love someone then I automatically feel concerned if they have a problem. I am the sort of person to verbalise my thoughts and feelings, while he is not. Instead he will just act grumpy and distant and not talk about it. But his bad mood is affecting me, and he's been off work this week because he had some paid holiday days owing, so I thought he'd be a bit more relaxed and enjoy his time off. But instead he seems tense. He does cuddle and kiss me but seems too tired to want sex at night. He is neglecting himself as in he won't bathe or get his hair cut. If something is bothering him I just wish he'd tell me because I can't do anything to help unless he tells me what's on his mind. He denies depression, although it seems to me like he has all the symptoms of depression.

What does one do when this sort of thing occurs in a relationship?



Ps. I am not dumping him, as that would be heartless. Thank you.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2019, 7:04 pm

Probably one of the best things for couples to do is watch some sitcom on TV.

That can "break the ice."



Magna
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05 Dec 2019, 7:12 pm

Based on what you've said, especially neglecting basic hygiene if that was something he considered to be important before, I think it sounds like depression to me. I would have wondered if he was sexually frustrated/repressed, but you've indicated that you're open to sexual intimacy with him, so that doesn't sound like the problem.

I hope he turns around and things get better for you.



kraftiekortie
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05 Dec 2019, 8:25 pm

I know, for myself, taking a shower makes me feel much better----even when I have a bad cold.



Joe90
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05 Dec 2019, 8:26 pm

Magna wrote:
Based on what you've said, especially neglecting basic hygiene if that was something he considered to be important before, I think it sounds like depression to me. I would have wondered if he was sexually frustrated/repressed, but you've indicated that you're open to sexual intimacy with him, so that doesn't sound like the problem.

I hope he turns around and things get better for you.


He's not the type of guy to always have sex on his mind, but I sure am sex-starved. Lucky for him I would never cheat on him to get sex (he knows that and trusts me).
Yes I'm very open to sexual intimacy, no matter what mood I'm in. In fact sex always makes me feel happier.
I get bouts of depression but I try not to take it out on him. I tell him that I'm depressed and he cheers me up, and I just get through the bout of depression without stamping around in a bad mood. But he is hard to cheer up when in this bad mood. It's not just a genuine bad mood, he's been in a bad mood for days and it's rather infectious.


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