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I feel like I just went through hell

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Angnix
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06 Dec 2019, 9:57 pm

My husband ended up in the ER three times after coming home, for anxiety and swollen arm.

And I was evaluated for suicidal thoughts... I couldn't handle my husband anymore... Plus he didn't follow any of the doctors instructions.

My caseworker ended up calling APS, and also a social worker, the doctor's office and his insurance company worked hard to get him back into another rehab facility and he went last night.

But he said hurtful things to me like "you are just dumping me somewhere, aren't you?"

Now it's a whole lot more peaceful around here and I kinda hate admitting it, but I'm thinking about leaving him :(

I feel like he put me through unnecessary hell just because he wanted to leave rehab early.

Everyone seems to agree putting him in the rehab place was the right thing to do... And my caseworker said she thinks it should be permanent (the rehab place is also a nursing home basically)

My "bad" uncle wants me to move near him.... But he's probably scheming things.

I'm to the point where I wish people would just leave me alone... Like I can find my dream job and move away and go single and stay single lol.

I remember when I was working and I used to live near bars and restaurants and I would just keep to myself and go out to eat by myself all the time... It was fun lol


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magz
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07 Dec 2019, 3:39 am

Angnix wrote:
My husband ended up in the ER three times after coming home, for anxiety and swollen arm.

And I was evaluated for suicidal thoughts... I couldn't handle my husband anymore... Plus he didn't follow any of the doctors instructions.

My caseworker ended up calling APS, and also a social worker, the doctor's office and his insurance company worked hard to get him back into another rehab facility and he went last night.

But he said hurtful things to me like "you are just dumping me somewhere, aren't you?"

Now it's a whole lot more peaceful around here and I kinda hate admitting it, but I'm thinking about leaving him :(
Finally! He bullies you, uses you, guilt trips you, he doesn't respect you and a lot of your craziness comes from this relationship!

Angnix wrote:
I feel like he put me through unnecessary hell just because he wanted to leave rehab early.

Everyone seems to agree putting him in the rehab place was the right thing to do... And my caseworker said she thinks it should be permanent (the rehab place is also a nursing home basically)

My "bad" uncle wants me to move near him.... But he's probably scheming things.
Avoid him. Just to be on the safe side.

Angnix wrote:
I'm to the point where I wish people would just leave me alone... Like I can find my dream job and move away and go single and stay single lol.

I remember when I was working and I used to live near bars and restaurants and I would just keep to myself and go out to eat by myself all the time... It was fun lol
Can you share these thougths with a therapist, IRL? I reckon, with all the social working etc., they should be able to provide some therapist for you, don't they?


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SharonB
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07 Dec 2019, 6:36 am

Sorry for the hardship. Glad you are thinking about what's next and great for you.



Angnix
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07 Dec 2019, 9:38 am

I do have a therapist, I just haven't seen her in a long time. This therapist thinks part of the problem is communication issues because she believes I am aspie (though I still lack a formal dx)

My husband is hard to avoid, he either facetimes several times a day and wants to know where I am, or he expects me to stay with him most of the day in the rehab place.


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FINALLY diagnosed with ASD 2/6/2020


magz
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07 Dec 2019, 9:43 am

Angnix wrote:
I do have a therapist, I just haven't seen her in a long time. This therapist thinks part of the problem is communication issues because she believes I am aspie (though I still lack a formal dx)

It's likely that part of the problem is communication issues but it's most certainly not the whole problem.
Communication issues can be resolved, effective communication styles can be learned.

Do you talk with your therapist about your husband's behavior? Things you share here, at the very least?


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SharonB
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07 Dec 2019, 10:14 am

Prior to my self-diagnosis, a couple's therapist recommended increased communication between my (NT) husband and I --- as he would for any couple. Talking a lot is not necessarily communicating (in fact, I'd say it's an indicator of the opposite often). Especially if it's the old dynamics. With our new dynamic, we do 20-min turn taking, to talk exclusively about our relationship and communication. (Kindly, respectfully to ourselves and partners.) It's definitely helped us clarify needs and misunderstandings. Now we can look back at "how we were" (and cringe) b/c we are improving!