COMING OUT!

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I was just at a yearly conference, related to my job, and it was the first time I went to this conference with the knowledge that I am autistic (or have AS, whatever you want to call it), and it helped me so much. Having come out to myself helps me be more understanding of why other people are reacting to me that way they are. Also, the meals were in this large cafeteria with lots of people, and I am better able to know when I need to leave, and I understand why it is so hard to hear my friend talk in those situations. And I am more gentle with myself, knowing that I need to take breaks from all the action.

In the past, I probably would have been (unconsciously) criticizing myself for not being able to "keep up" with all the socializing the other people are doing, and I would have felt bad about myself.

So, I am happy that I can be more gentle with myself now.

Also, I am considering "coming out" to one of my friends/colleagues that goes with me to this conference.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

I've come out to 3 people in my life time
and aim to keep it that way for awhile
I am not proud of what I am

I've told a few people. Most haven't heard of it, and I don't really want to explain it to them. Those that have tend to downplay it, with something along the lines of "well that doesn't define who you are. Don't label yourself." My ex initially viewed my claim as an attempt at excusing myself from bad behavior. In general, it's not been beneficial for me to tell people.

I haven't told anyone in my family, though they're surely well aware that there's something peculiar about me. They'd probably downplay it or question the diagnosis. Telling people for the sake of doing so also kind of begs the question of why you wanted them to know. People assume that you expect a reaction from them, or some redefinition of your relationship.

Generally, I don't tell people unless they ask about an aspect of my life that is partly explained by AS, such as why I hate crowds or am quiet or whatnot.

Wow, I just found and read through this thread. I really never considered that Asperger's Syndrome is supposed to be an embarrassment? For the time I've known about it [approximately 1.7 years] I've always just considered it to be a difference, like being left handed. WRT to AS, I view things as a set of gifts, and a set of curses; for me, lots of both. That being said, I do not go out of my way to mention it, nor to I worry much about doing so. But, I happen to be in a place where it probably doesn't matter, nor is it that uncommon. woodsman25, I know you've got some intolerant jackasses where you work; with some [all?] of them, yeah, I would probably not be inclined to mention it. Maybe its like that for many people; maybe Serendipity has a thing for me.

This is rather odd, but there have actually been a few times where it came up, and I had to un-compliment it. Here's a conversation I've had a few times: [Some random person] "Oh, yeah, I've heard of that Asperger's thing. That's what Einstein and Newton had, right? It means you're really super-smart?" [Me] "Um, no. It means I have a somewhat different mental organization than is typical; there are certain side-effects, like inability to read social cues, and in my case threat-response generated from eye contact; but you also, find certain gifts, like turning the typical intense areas of focus into a career. And it can mean very different things for different people; it is a spectrum disorder, which means the exact effects vary greatly from person to person. And, it is very important to point out that it is debatable whether or not Newton and Einstein had this disorder, but if the did, they were exceptional cases. They should be looked at as how people may have AS and still excel and contribute greatly to human knowledge, but it is a fallacy to think that everyone with AS is just like Einstein, or Newton. Here, let me point you to a Wikipedia article..." I've had similar conversations along the lines of, "Oh, AS is like Rainman, right?...] <sigh>

Should I be embarrassed that my son has autism? Should he? [Happily, I do not believe he can even grasp the concept of embarrassment. ]

Now, possibly being schitotypal is something I do keep under wraps, except with my good friends, like you all. But only because most people equate anything in that realm to "crazy", possibly even "dangerous" (confusion with psichotic). But it too can be seen as a difference, and possibly a set of gifts and curses. Folks can get into trouble when the curses outweigh the gifts, which typically means you lose control of your mind. But it is not necessarily so; it can be a source of astonishing inspiration. Watch A Beautiful Mind; in contains a variety of interesting implications.

Good fortune,

- Icarus

I don't bother about telling people, either, even though I've been in several situations where it might have been easier to tell, in order to avoid hurting the other person, but I didn't, and I refuse to worry about it.