Bad side effect of dabbling in romance

Post Reply New Topic

When you're getting to know someone and you both like each other, but not enough to make a move and he's invited you to hang out with his friends. It's great. You're in this group of really nice people and that's amazing because you find it hard to make friends.

But then he loses interest in you and stops inviting you. Or he does make a move and it doesn't work out.

Not only do you lose this person you really have feelings for, you lose a whole group of friends.

I've kept in touch with them all individually, but he has an actual, official girlfriend now, so I'm not invited to group things anymore.

It sucks. How am I not meant to feel like a loser?

Another guy tried to stay friends with me after we had tried to date, but it failed. But he was very actively pursuing other women when we were out and it hurt. So I couldn't go out with that group anymore or be in group chats where he was flirting with all the other women. I tried to ignore it, but I'm human and it hurt to be treated like I meant something one day and then be nothing the next.

So, now I'm back to being on my own.

It hurts.

I suppose one of the good sides of my little attempts with men never really going anywhere is that I've never had to experience that, either. Hang in there! Do you still have your group of chronically single female friends?

Also, remember that no one is (or at least no one should be) hanging out with friends in these times. We're all in this together at the moment, even though it's only temporary for some.

Yes, I've been keeping in touch via video calls on WhatsApp.

I saw a post on Instagram yesterday that the other group that I'm not part of anymore had been video calling and still hanging out that way. It reminded that me I'm not part of it anymore and I felt sad.

I was doing really well before I saw that people were hanging out over video conferencing. I was kinda glad people were having to live my normal life under the lockdown and I wasn't missing out on anything, that's mean, but it helped my mental health, but I am still an outsider and I don't have that friend group anymore. I wish I had never met them and then I wouldn't feel this pain.

Someone told me to view the social pain as like her illness and how she's stuck inside, but that's not the same as being so fundementaly flawed that no one can stand the thought of ever living with you or wanting to call you their girlfriend. There's just something so wrong with me that I'm just not ever enough and it hurts so much. Which is stupid, because none of these guys I've met have been right for me personally.

But I'm just such a weirdo that no one is.

I wish I could be normal

And the award of who hits closest to home goes to~!

Ya, I know that feeling. And then I end up feeling quilty for feeling that way, yet in the end, the quilt is less unpleasant than knowing I might be missing out on something.