Perspective

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I am considering applying for a high-level position and am really sad (and scared) that my perspective would not be valued, but would be shunned. As most of us, I have experienced this very much in life. There is so much talk that folks with ASD can't take the perspective of others. Well, it sometimes seems that the NT folks have just as much trouble seeing our perspective. This week at work, I sent out a team email with colons between my references and my (very NT) boss questioned it (publicly) --- a teammate substituted arrows for the colons (no other change) and the matter was cleared right up. Really? Really? My "failure" to communicate and take another's perspective comes down to colon usage? Of course it's more than that, but I do see it as indicative. I may not know where they are coming from; they don't know where I am coming from …. (we could each ask)… but **I** am "disabled". So it's a little daunting to consider a career move when this deficiency is running through my head and I am worried my strengths will be overlooked (as they have recently in this especially toxic work environment). I would like to utilize my strengths and not be "put down" for my differences and/or weaknesses. I want to be bigger than recent assessments of me (from highly political middle managers). Would I be bigger, or would I just make a fool of myself? Would I grow enough relative to the cost?

OK, I googled ASD and Rejection. #2 is what I am grappling with: https://themighty.com/2019/01/dealing-w ... -autistic/
and #1, #3, #4 and #5 apply also.

Were you asked to apply for the position?

No. The newest co-worker strongly suggested I apply for it. The most senior member of the team said he would be happy to work for me. I manage out and down, I have not managed up.

Sounds like you have a good shot.

LOL. (self-effacing amusement and humor:) Such a simple observation. What, you are not agonizing over my insecurity? There's another way?

You seem to have the respect of your co-workers. The colon thing was probably a joke.

Even the most NT of NT’s can be insecure.

Thank you for the feedback, Kraftie.

A joke. Interesting idea. To be cliché (so very ASD), I could not tell generally if this manager was friendly or mocking. Since when I asked, he wouldn't clarify (he'd shrug and smile) and he was the instrument of my recent career setback, it seemed "safer" to assume he was mocking me. This is the person leaving and I am relieved.

I would have put this in "Work" forum, except that I am feeling so very sensitive and scared. Gosh darn ASD emotional regulation challenges, and everything.

jimmy, thank you for the reminder. The mgmt in my organization was pure "political" the past 3 yrs until just last month when a new (not as political) big boss came in and now this (political) boss is leaving. There is the possibility of inclusion again. To your point, the HR policies and upper leadership directives will still be restrictive and could I do enough good in this position or just be frustrated with the illogical. Regardless of how this goes, I am enjoying the "fresh air" right now.