Having a hard time

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A little bit ago, I was faced with something that I had gotten so tired of a long time ago. I noticed that my dads girlfriend was wearing a sweatshirt that my dad and I have worn in the past. It hasn't been one of my favorite sweatshirts because of its texture and because it's relatively small(I perfer my clothes to be more on the baggy side). My dad's girlfriend isn't exactly "overweight", but is bigger than me, so I said to her "that's a bit too small for me. I'm surprised you were able to fit into that".

She then said "Um, you just called me fat". I didn't think that it was a big deal. I then brought up how my dad sometimes wears my sweatshirts. "Therefore I've been calling him fat for many years". A few minutes later, my dad said that I should apologize to her. This where the "short end of the stick" treatment I feel like I've been dealing with for many years comes in. In this case, I had no idea what I said was out of bounds until my dads girlfriend called me out on it and refused to understand my perspective. I basically became defensive of myself because of that and my dad and his girlfriend took exception. I yelled out my intolerance of being on the "short end of the stick", mentioned a few instances in the past where this has happened and went up to my room where I still am at as of typing this.

There have been many instances in my life where 1. I would say something and someone would take it the wrong way or 2. someone would intentionally do something that would make me really mad, I'd flip out and I would be pressured to apologize. I could give MANY examples of it. It's not just partially my fault because another person CHOSE to do something that made me mad and would push the buttons of many other people. It's ALL my fault.

Another thing about all this: my dad KNOWS I have aspergers, so if anyone's most expected to understand that I may say those things from time to time, it's him. And yet, he reacts as if I'm a perfect stranger to him who wouldn't know anything about me.

I've been sitting here for the last hour crying and feeling miserable. I don't know how I can go on when half the thing I say are taken way differently along with all the other misfortunes of my life.

I'm sorry that happened Cubs.

It sounds like you were just being honest and straightforward, and they interpreted some type of rude intent. I hate when that happens. I'm very honest too and sometimes it totally backfires when people assume I'm trying to criticise them, but I'm not. I hope that when things calm down you can at least text or speak to your dad to tell him how hurt you feel. I hope your dad will be on your side.



(( hugs ))

Thanks, Isabella.

I sent my dad a text telling him that he seems to not understand my perspective, and gave him a list of past events where I felt like he was blaming me for everything. His response:

“Life is full of regrets and misunderstandings but it doesn’t stop us from being decent human beings”

Not sure how I feel about that last part.

"Dear Dad, I am a decent human being. I make mistakes. I'm honest, and I feel badly when people misinterpret my words. I apologised to ____ . I'm glad that you're being a decent human being too, by understanding I didn't mean to upset her".

Had my first conversation with my dad since yesterday. I did apologize to him for slamming the door behind him when he was walking out of my room(he just got done pinning me to the wall)because I think that I could’ve hit him with the door. He then went on to say “I’m always going to be on your side. You and I have different perspectives on life but that doesn’t mean that I don’t still love you”.

It kind of makes me a bit sad to fully grasp that there’s things that we don’t see eye to eye on, which have often led to the arguments that him and I have had in the past. My mom is more understanding when I say things that some others would take differently and I think it’s been a long time since I had a disagreement with her on something that wasn’t resolved quickly.