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Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 2:01 pm

May have found an apartment....sort of. It's in the basement of a woman's house. She has a 15 year old daughter and 2 cats. The cat part isn't a problem because I love cats. But the thing is I would have to use the woman's kitchen and washer and dryer. The downstairs where I would live has no lock on the door, so there's that. I would have to come upstairs into their living space to make food every day and do laundry once a week, in their part of the house. The woman asked how long I would be staying there. Which kind of threw me off. Does she intend to be renting out to people going to college or something? The woman and her daughter looked like totally different people than me, and I didn't feel like I clicked with them at all....but at least I got positive vibes from them....sort of, but felt judged kind of because I don't work. So anyway I don't know, it looks so much nicer than the dirty old rooming house I'm in now for men, but it would be so weird basically living in a woman's house who I am probably not going to be friends with, so....my life really sucks right now because the government won't give people with disability enough to live in an actual apartment. I haven't filled out the application yet to move into the woman's house....not sure if I want to but my mom thinks I should live there. Mom has way better social skills than me though, because she doesn't have autism. I have a hard time talking to people.



Mountain Goat
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12 Sep 2020, 2:23 pm

Uhmm. What is the difference between living there and living at home with your Mum?



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12 Sep 2020, 2:26 pm

Could you ask to put a lock on your door? That is important and your right I would think.


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Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 2:29 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Uhmm. What is the difference between living there and living at home with your Mum?


Because she ain't my mom. She's around my age, but I feel so different from those guys. I'm weird and have only ever hung around other weird people. And this woman and her daughter looked totally straight laced. Normal in other words. And she was asking me if I worked, where I'm living now and if I had a car and kind of looked like she was judging me as she asked. I felt a little bit uncomfortable around those guys and felt judged, and that's why I can't really picture living in their house.



Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 2:33 pm

Teach51 wrote:
Could you ask to put a lock on your door? That is important and your right I would think.


I'm surprised she didn't already have a lock for it. I'm sure I could ask. The door looked like the kind where you can lock it behind you once you're in at least.

But it just freaks me out that I'd basically be in a woman's house, and not my own apartment. And that's all I want is my own place.



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12 Sep 2020, 2:37 pm

Then it is probably a "No".
They are strange questions to ask unless they expect lifts from a car driver! Do you think they could be a family that has lost the husband so they need a lodger to help pay their bills? They could be straight faced because they would rather not rent out but have to? I am guessing about this.



Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 2:52 pm

Mountain Goat wrote:
Then it is probably a "No".
They are strange questions to ask unless they expect lifts from a car driver! Do you think they could be a family that has lost the husband so they need a lodger to help pay their bills? They could be straight faced because they would rather not rent out but have to? I am guessing about this.


Yes, it seemed that way. She never said anything about a divorce, but never said anything about having a boyfriend or husband either. And she said her daughter is hardly ever with her so...She's probably just renting out her basement to get help with the bills. Maybe that's why she asked how long I'd be staying there. Maybe she would want to ditch me when she found someone or a way to make more money.



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12 Sep 2020, 2:57 pm

It must be difficult to be in that situation. Don't take it personally. Something which may be a concern is if you and your potential landlord are on different wavelengths so may find it difficult to connect. It might work ok? I don't know.



Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 3:01 pm

lol I don't know either. I think I am on a totally different wavelength than that woman and just can't picture living in that house with them.



Lunella
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12 Sep 2020, 3:12 pm

There's nothing wrong with house sharing, just be polite and keep to yourself. It doesn't seem like a bad one because you know yourself to even have a kid living with you there's some clear sanity there. If they are nice enough I say go for it.

I've done it tons of times, one huge piece of advice though if you are going to room share - definitely don't move in with a historian who's husband had killed himself. I went through that one, turns out the old guy was a narcissist and drove him to suicide. Resulted in my now husband having to come rescue me. :lol:

You can find room shares with students and shared houses with families, it is a hell of a lot cheaper and you actually have the ability to repay debts or get savings together if you're working. It's very common in the UK because our housing system is trash.

Don't get yourself locked into any contract though - if something goes wrong you want to be able to get your s**t and leave to the next house share you set up immediately.


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Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 3:28 pm

No, I don't think I'll do this. It is cheaper but I need my own place. I'd only do the house sharing thing if I was facing homelessness and had no other choice. What is probably going to happen is I will have to get a job, instead of waiting for the government to give me enough money on disability to support myself. Because the way it looks now, the wait list to get low income housing takes years until you get accepted. I'm on the wait list for independent living support and it has already been a year since I got on it.



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12 Sep 2020, 3:33 pm

I haven't read your other posts, so can you write a quick review of where you used to live before?

By the way I was fascinated with basements ever since I was little, so I would have been excited about it.



Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 4:25 pm

I live in a rooming house right now and don't like it. It is for men and I am female and they don't clean. I'm on 5 different wait lists to live elsewhere in low income housing. Since I'm relying on the government here, it looks like I will be waiting for a long time. This is still kind of a shock to us Canadians on the east coast, because a few years ago you could find a decent apartment for cheap. It's like the government is trying to get rid of poor people now by having them die of homelessness.

Anyway, I just didn't feel like I clicked with that woman. But maybe in the near future when I find another shared housing thing, and it's closer to the middle of town (because this place was a bit far from everything) I will take that and while living in the shared housing look for a cheap apartment. Because there's only one place in town that has cheap apartments that aren't that bad. I just have to wait until they get an opening.



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12 Sep 2020, 4:36 pm

If you live in a rooming house for men, how did they allow you to live there on the first place? Isn't it against certain laws?



Sarahsmith
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12 Sep 2020, 5:26 pm

Apparently not. But there is other stuff about the place that seems like it could be a bit sketchy and not really legal. Anyway the landlord seems to favor men staying there more so than women. I think he just lets women stay there when they have no where else to go. Women don't stay there that long.

The only reason I've stayed so long is because I get to save so much money there and it's really close to all the places I shop.



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12 Sep 2020, 5:30 pm

So you are saying that "officially" its not just for men -- he simply "prefers" men over women?