What tone of voice for...

Post Reply New Topic

telling people you have taken a day off.

I work pretty hard, and especially recently during the state audit. So the last required documents were finally turned
in to the auditor early this morning. So, I felt like "celebrating" by not working today. I wanted to spend time in the garden and reading, maybe getting the hammock set up.

I haven't figured out how to say "I took a day off." or "I took a few hours to work in the garden" without sounding defensive. I feel I have to justify how hard I've been working and etc, so my tone of voice, I think, sounds whiny, like I want the other person to validate my hard work and that I "should" be able to take some time off. And I know that is ridiculous.

I get that I deserve time off. I don't need to be told that. I just don't know how to say that to other people. What is normal here?

You work for yourself. You can take a day off any time you want.

I know that. But this does come up in conversation. I don't have a problem with saying I am taking a day off. I just don't know how to say it and not sound defensive.

What tone of voice to use?

Maybe I am not asking the right question.

That's why I am posting. Maybe somebody can even tell me what the question is.

I mean, to say "I love you," generally means it is said in a romantic, loving tone of voice and not screaming or like a robot.

Saying "I cleaned the kitchen" is just stating a fact and you don't have to be forceful or reticent or whatever when conveying factual information.

Saying, "I am really angry you did x, y, z" could be done in an irritated and angry voice, although it works better if one rephrases and is calm about it.

So, how does one say, I took the day off. If you work for someone else, you are permitted days off, you get vacation days and sick days, etc. When you work for yourself, what is the justification for taking a day off. I can't say that my boss gave me the day off. Or maybe I can?

You’re feeling self-conscious about not working for even one day, I sense.

I got lucky that I spent about five months doing very little work. But I didn’t like telling people that. Of having my wife tell her family that. I felt self-conscious about my idleness and good fortune. I felt embarrassed, like people would think I’m a lazy bum or something.

I would just say to people you don’t know well that you were doing something to organize your house or something. People have this idiot notion that one must be PRODUCTIVE all the time.

I don’t agree. People need vacations AWAY from “productivity” at times.

I hope you enjoyed your day off blazingstar, you certainly deserved it.

For me it's like my kitchen mixer, if I push it too hard it has an automatic safety switch that turns it off before the motor burns out. Taking a day off is my safety switch that prevents my motor from blowing up. Everyone needs and deserves this time out. It should be a perk of being the boss along with all the responsibility.

As for tone of voice, well, soft and assertive of course.

Thanks Kortie and Teach.

What does soft and assertive sound like? Can you give me an example from a different situation in which your tone of voice is soft and assertive?

Ooh blaze let me think. The same way I would say at the supermarket "slice the cheese thinly please." You are saying what you want, you are sure that you have the right to ask for it, and you are being respectful to the person who you are conveying the information to. You don't need to smile, you do need to be polite and you know that when you are buying cheese it is your absolute right to ask for it exactly how you like it. Like that

Make it seem like you take an objective, scientific approach to something that’s controversial.

There are advantages to being a woman with a soft voice.

Always acknowledge what the other person is saying within a conversation. Don’t seem like you have all the answers.

In that circumstance you are in, if I tried to change my tone of voice it would come out worse as it would be obvious I feel guilty about it!

You are right, MG, that is part of the learning process. I have become much more aware of my tone of voice. There are a few situations in which I don’t believe I’m using the most effective one.

So teach, I’m thinking about the cheese; I do smile when I ask for cheese. I always say please. But there is something useful in that tone of voice I will have to think about. Now, if I could only go grocery shopping.

Kortie, I don’t have all the answers and I think I say that. But I am often accused as sounding as if I have all the answers. Probably another tone of voice issue.

It’s hard to be demure when you’re used to being human

Being in your field forces you to be blunt and direct.

Love you blazingstar!


Take two days off