Being Patronised

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Patronising people are so annoying.

Both HFA and NT people do this.

They say things I've known for years as if it's brand new information.

It really isn't.

It's annoying to talk to me like I'm stupid and uneducated.

I give it 10 years or personal experience rule. If I've personally experienced something (and mentioned it cos I get ppl aren't mind readers) or known something for 10 years + don't talk to me and tell me it as if it's brand new information you're providing.

Just tell them you know that already!

Yep....that can be annoying.

Are you sure of their mindset/intention?

Patronizing. Trying to remember what it means. Patriarchs? Patronizing people are patriarchs? Uhmm. Need to look it up again. One of those words that does not stay in my mind so I have a vague idea but need to have a recap.

PM me and I will explain.

Yeah what confuses me is - do they think I don't?

Would it be rude to tell them I do?

Why do they make assumptions which are going to generally be inaccurate? (At least one of these cases was a case of someone assuming I didn't know something which everyone in that social context knows and which everyone in that social context would have phrased how I did)

Do NTs like to be reminded of things they already know in this kind of condescending way? (Although two recent egs are from other autistic people - one who repeated my first hand knowledge back to me months later as second hand knowledge, he wasn't on here so I'm not stirring anything by saying that)

Do NTs (and maybe other autistic people) have really bad memories for who told them what? (That would explain it in cases where I know some rare information because it's part of my real life. It wouldn't explain more 'academic' egs - I use academic loosely)

Am I smarter than average people? I don't like thinking I am because that seems arrogant. But some well known theories get cited like they're new knowledge.

I don't know why people would tell people information as if it's brand new when it's either common knowledge or part of their real life experience (and the addressee has told the speaker that already). I don't understand the intention of that.

Apart from anything else, it's boring. I long for new information.

Talking down to as if someone's stupid.

I don't usually cruise the Haven but I saw in the popular thread list when you log in.

YES,absolutely people are very patronizing and I get it here all the time,I get it all the time!!

You might want to try autismforums/aspiecentral,people aren't as rotten and nasty there as people are here.Peoples attitudes are just rancid here on WP.I like the chat action on News and PPR but I don't usually go to the other forums very much.

Your absolutely right WP is run by ultra educated ultra high functioning types who think there better than everyone else.If you want a friend you always PM me I always treat people decent.

It's not just on here though. I think I've had one eg of it on here.

It's on other sites like Twitter or it's irl.

Irl kind of makes sense cos I look young for my age.

I think maybe with autistic people, doing what Kraftie said and saying 'I already know that' would be seen as helpful rather than as rude and competitive. Autistic people, on the whole, like blunt conversation and don't see it as rude - there is nothing inherently rude in the sentence 'I already know that', it's just there might be hidden implications to it from an NT pov.

I don't really relate with not being well educated. I'm not sure if I'm high functioning, I'm HFA (asperger's) but I have other disabilities which make it hard to work or live alone.

KT, you probably are smarter than most of the people you interact with.

If you have disabilities that are visible to others, they will assume there are intellectual disabilities as well. This is just a simple algorithm in NT mind. It is frustrating.

I also hate being patronized. It happens less often now that I am older. Now I am waiting to be patronized because I am a little old lady.

I think Korties’s advice is a good place to start.

I was on Twitter in 2013-2014 and this disability crowd was hard line SJW and if you didn't tow the line step for step they would unfollow you.I did get followed by David Ludwig;A composer and teacher at the Curtis Institute of Music and that was an honor.I got unfollowed by two women in the disability crowd because I said something politically incorrect that didn't follow the strict feminist line and I'm not a misogynist but I'm also not a radical SJW and Twitter is completely under the control of hard line SJW's.So I left Twitter disappointed and alienated,now I have a small Instagram account,IG is more mellow than the hyper intense Twitter.

In real life I have also experienced condescension and have curtailed friendships because of it.
I'm not a great personal communicator and that's why I don't visit the Haven or L&D often,so I don't have great advice other than try AF if your sick of the @#$wipes on WP.

I know now. Ignore the above.

As a tiny point people can sometimes think one of us is stupid because we don't say much in certain situations.

If they start treating me like I'm stupid I go into passive resistance mode AKA ignoring them and not paying any real attention to what they are saying. If the situation requires it (I've taken a big dislike to them) then I do the exact opposite of what they wanted me to do or I really dig my heels in.

My disabilities are all invisible (except maybe autism) but people irl can assume I don't know a lot cos I look young for my age.

On Celtic twitter, I tend to fit in with the politics. Her patronising comment went against what the vast majority of us think in order to state a fact that (apolitically) a child would know and fearmonger about 'offending someone' (don't support a Glasgow club that isn't Partick Thistle if you care that much over offending people ). I'm on a locked account, nobody except her was at all offended.

There's an autistic guy on there who's obsessed with being a covidiot and how the virus is overblown, excuses to break the rules etc. He knew that mum's chemo might have been cancelled & how I felt about that. Months later, he told me 'did you know people are getting chemo cancelled'. Of course I knew, if mum went to a different hospital then she'd be one of those people...

I can understand why irl people would talk to me like I was as stupid as a teenager. Cos I look like a teenager. But people telling me things I knew at 12? No thanks. And I don't like it online where I don't have a selfie and I do have a date of birth up.

It was the same when I started sixth form, decades ago. When I was 7, I learnt the majority of the parts of speech (except what 'articles' were). When I was 17, teacher spent the first class telling us all what a noun, adjective and verb were. In an English Language A-Level class. Complete waste of time that could have been spent on learning something new.

LOL....that's an absurd thing to do in an A-Level class! A-levels is equivalent to 2 years of college in the US.

I have no problem with having self-confidence, life experience and sharing information.
I usually say to people: "You probably know this. I am just sharing. Please feel free to add."

I lack ToM, so I don't really know what you do or don't know.