What do you do when you can't engage in your obsession?

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tjbuddy100
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19 Oct 2020, 12:45 pm

My big obsession from a young age has been video games. I've recently been restricted to only 2 hours of personal electronic use, and I'm struggling to cope. What do I do? It's honestly affecting my mental health severely, and I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do.



Feyokien
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19 Oct 2020, 12:47 pm

Per day? Who restricted you?



tjbuddy100
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19 Oct 2020, 1:01 pm

Parents gave me the limit. My actual age isn't 27, I know it's a little confusing.



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19 Oct 2020, 1:53 pm

Ah. All electronics like access to a computer or just using a gaming console? Have they set up a code or do they monitor you heavily? Either way its a bit cruel unless you have a major addiction.

My mom set a 1-2 hour limit per day on my Xbox 360 back when I was in grade school (which I purchased with money I earned working :roll:). I cracked the code after like a week, and she didn't really follow through on monitoring me. Not necessarily suggesting you should do that.

What kinds of games do you like to play, maybe that can help me direct you to something that could occupy your time.



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19 Oct 2020, 2:04 pm

How about model railroads?



tjbuddy100
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19 Oct 2020, 2:10 pm

I'm able to mostly ignore currently, but just having that verbal limit really hurts since I could easily get screwed any day. The limit applies to basically everything that isn't schoolwork. Being here would count if they knew I spent time here. I've really struggled with whether I have an addiction or an obsession. I feel like it's more of an obsession because I play it because I care about it if that makes sense.



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21 Oct 2020, 4:17 pm

An obsession can also be an addiction, an addiction is often also an obsession. Regardless of if either or both terms are applicable, if a pattern of behaviour is harming one's ability to meet their obligations it's maladaptive and likely should be altered.

For example MG mentioning model railroads here, if doing that persistently in topics where it's not relevant earned him social backlash it would serve his interests to curtail that behaviour and only mention them in contexts where that topic is relevant. (Sorry to pick on you but it was a handy example.)

When one's favourite behaviours start to interfere with the rest of one's functioning they maybe should be evaluated and altered.

If you've graduated already and are monetizing your video gaming so that it's reducing the need to find other employment you might have a case that spending as much time as you'd like playing makes sense. Otherwise you should seek to limit at least some of the time so that you have time to do other things and take care of personal matters that everyone must do.


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22 Oct 2020, 5:55 am

The question here is why have your parents limited the time you're allowed to play. Do you not handle school properly because you play too much? Or is there some other responsibility that you're not handling properly, like housework, because of gaming? If this is the case, you could try negotiating with your parents that they could remove the time limit if you handle your resposibilites properly from now on. Same if the reason is something like you not exersicing enough.



Joe90
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22 Oct 2020, 5:33 pm

I don't really have obsessions any more, but I used to, and if I couldn't pursue my obsessions then I panicked. This usually caused meltdowns, or "outbursts". They involved being argumentative with my parents and being in a bad mood. My life just seemed dull and worthless without my obsessions.
I'm so glad I don't have obsessions any more, as they did somewhat rule my life.


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22 Oct 2020, 5:44 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
An obsession can also be an addiction, an addiction is often also an obsession. Regardless of if either or both terms are applicable, if a pattern of behaviour is harming one's ability to meet their obligations it's maladaptive and likely should be altered.

For example MG mentioning model railroads here, if doing that persistently in topics where it's not relevant earned him social backlash it would serve his interests to curtail that behaviour and only mention them in contexts where that topic is relevant. (Sorry to pick on you but it was a handy example.)

When one's favourite behaviours start to interfere with the rest of one's functioning they maybe should be evaluated and altered.

If you've graduated already and are monetizing your video gaming so that it's reducing the need to find other employment you might have a case that spending as much time as you'd like playing makes sense. Otherwise you should seek to limit at least some of the time so that you have time to do other things and take care of personal matters that everyone must do.


No worries. I am an example. :D Is not often I get to be an example. Do I get a badge? :D

My mind tends to think in trains. :P. I tend to compare or relate things to railways so I can understand topics outside of my comfort zone if that makes sense? As if I can somehow relate the topics to railways, or another similar thing that I know about (E.g. cars, bicycles etc), then I stand a chance of understanding it, as it is surprizing how all encompassing the subject of railways and model railways is.



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25 Oct 2020, 1:09 pm

You accept that it isn’t punishment, but parenting. They’re only trying to ensure you have a more well rounded life experience vs focus on only one thing. Read a book, get some exercise, get some chores or projects done etc. And when you Do get to spend 2 hours gaming out.. enjoy it to the fullest!

That’s what I’d do if I were you.

FWIW, due to covid I can’t exactly engage in all of my interests.. so, I do other things. It’s not the end of the world. Roll with it and learn to adapt - as much as you may not like change like so many on the spectrum, change is a major part of life and you’re going to have to grow into someone who can deal with change - including restrictions on obsessions, rules imposed by others, other obligations vs what you Want to do etc. Accept this change as a learning experience in terms of dealing with change and developing healthy coping mechanisms around it. Then maybe the next change won’t be so difficult to process.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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25 Oct 2020, 4:05 pm

Find a similar obsession

Read a book about your hobbies