Panic attacks...

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I just realized a motorbike passing a meter away from me triggers panic attacks, was somewhat of a sudden thing, somewhat surprising, but not really at the same time... I was just left wondering why I was trembling. I could barely stand up...

Humans can't be more hateful, can they? Society literally diagnosed me with AS, firmly established that noise is what I hate (an understatement), and local government actually moved me away from the previous place due to my reaction to a noise issue... only to move me 1 meter away. My previous noise issue was 20m away. These people are sadistic, ruthless bastards, clearly...

But, now... I'm just so afraid... it's seemingly gone for today, but still somewhat trembling, so apprehensive of the future... when my mind is going through these two options again, so afraid... and this f****r just needs to do this in a pandemic, when it's so difficult for me to go anywhere, so risky... but what truly can I do? This seems to be the apex of my life, the nadir now...[removed by moderator]...this situation is seriously unbelievable... this is how broken local government has reduced my life to, with full knowledge of my noise sensitivity...

Sorry to hear you have such heightened sensitivities. I’m very sound sensitive too, and have a heightened response to loud noise, but manage it pretty well. I find myself tuning sound out nowadays, if I’m absorbed in an interest or reading something. Have you tried listening to music under headphones? Loud noises and even low level buzzing from Alexa(amplified white noise) shakes me to the core and I have to turn the volume as low as possible to wipe it out. I’m pretty sure it effects my pets too. My thoughts are that it’s more of a concern of we don’t react to loud noise, as surely all humans are meant to as they represent possible danger. It’s an unfortunate experience for those of us on the spectrum to in some cases, experience hyper or hypo reactions to sounds and textures. The key is finding a way to lessen the impact or to desensitise yourself which can be achieveable for some, with the right gradual exposure levels otherwise, noise cancellation headphones etc.