Toxic Family

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Growing up as a child with Asperger's, my parents and siblings were not accepting/loving at all, exceptionally abusive, and I was the scapegoat in my family, only me. The scapegoating followed into adulthood, my upper middle class family was more worried about what the neighbors and relatives would think then how they were treating me, and it really messed with my self-esteem, coupled with my struggles to make friends and try to fit in. Many, many years ago I stopped chasing my family trying to get them to love me, no one ever called me or inquired as to how I was doing as I was struggling to make sense of life all on my own. Has anyone else had similar experiences?

Kinda, though probably in a smaller, milder way and my family is working class... keeping up appearances always seemed to come before taking care of me on emotional level. I've had a heavy physical disability since birth, and they never really seemed to try to hide that, but other things... like, when I was little, I used to freak out if I got even a little scratch that bled. My parents always got angry and told me to keep quiet, but I feel like what proper parents should have done first an foremost is to try to make sure their child was okay. It's not like they ever neglected my well being radically, but my childhood and teen years are full of little incidents like that, so emotionally, they did leave their mark.

Can recognize. That situation , you are. Not alone, the after effects of such a upbringing can leave serious scars I feel
. Sometimes you almost outright have to feel that you survived it. Those side effects could chase someone along all their life possibly. Or possibly give them a good idea of what not to do in having familial type relationship .
Hang in there as best you can .

You did the right thing by analyzing a situation that you did not create.
It must have been difficult, coming to the conclusion that these people do not have what you need and that it is not good for you to be around them.
You did your best.
Avoiding them seems to be the only way of escaping their negativity.
I am sorry for what you have gone through for so long.

There should be no statute of limitations on severe child abuse . Imho

Dear Diagnosedafter50,
You did not choose your path, you were taught/conditioned.
How could you accept yourself when no one else did?
You were never taught HOW to accept yourself, you probably did not really know who ‘yourself’ was, from the sounds of it!
How many, many Aspies grew up in denial, confusion, bitterness because no one even tried to understand them, much less accept and love them as they really are?
I am so sorry that your life has followed a path of pain and , as you say, bitterness.

I broke away from my family too. They were also abusive to me refuse to own up to it. They think I am the one with the problem. They are are also very stuck on themselves think they can get away with treating others anyway they want. I don’t talk to them at all.