This year I hope people listen to/read me properly

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"CONTEXT!"

That's what mum belted into me as a kid.

If I raced into what I had to say without providing it - just assuming people knew what was in my head (y'know like NTs do all the time), she would say it. "CONTEXT! Nobody knows what you're saying without it!"

Fine then.

I provide context. When I speak, I provide it in terms of what I'm saying before delving into specifics.

When I type online, I type the entire thing out.

I am starting to feel like there's absolutely no point in either of these things though.

Why?

People ignore me. I can go half a f*****g part of what I'm saying and then my stepdad (usually) repeats what I said. He repeats it like it's a brand new thought from his head that nobody else has thought of - esp just literally said right there in front of him. Or he doesn't know the context of it even though I laid it out and asks for it again.

Or online for eg on here. People will read the title of what I said then ignore my entire OP!

I just want this year to be the year when all my words are heard and read. When the specifics I have laid out are taken into account. When people aren't f*****g stupid when it comes to either asking for the same info I already provided OR assuming that there's something else going on like if I say my cousin is atheist in the OP quit assuming she's doing things for religious reasons

It annoys me a fair bit online but esp annoys me within the context of my family. It's like people can't be bothered to join things up.

Like people can't be bothered with me. Like I'm not worth the effort.

Like they don't care about me.

And my 'CONTEXT'.

I'm going to start responding to such people like this:

If it's online or in a text, I will copy and paste what I said with what they said. On twitter I will use the eye emoji like 'you didn't realise I already answered you? Really?! '

Irl when it's spoken conversation I will say 'as I just said' then repeat myself exactly. Or 'yes, that's exactly what I said, well done'.

I know this will come across as 'rude'. I do not care. Because I consider ignoring OPs in order to insert your own completely irrelevant information to be rude. And I consider it to be rude to say you can hear someone but then ignore everything they said. Or when you can hear someone then repeat what they said as if it's brand new what you said and claim credit for their pattern. That's not 'great minds think alike' that's 'inadequate minds steal ideas'.

My words are not as meaningless as people like to make them out to be. People need to start valuing me this year or I will be rude to them and show them that I don't value them either. I am tired of the emotional labour of talking to people who don't listen/read properly.

hey
I can understand your frustration. I understand how frustrating it can be when people don't get what your on about, or don't show enough effort to work out.

I understand why you may want to be rude to these people, although, being rude (and i have plenty of experience in that department, both sides of the fence) is that your rude reaction may be viewed by some that you are the rude one, rather than you reacting to someone else's misbehaviour.

Which would be a shame, as you just want people to understand you and didn't go out to be rude to others.

I am afraid i do not have much advice that may help you work out a more practical solution to this problem.
As other people's actions are greatly out of our control.

We can only really account for our own behaviour and try our best to influence others in a positive way.
hmmm

sometimes, a rude answer or question can wake someone up though.
But probably not a habit i would like to encourage in myself, unless you can say something very clever
that doesn't come across as rude but more exposes how bad other people are acting towards you.

anyway good luck
cheers
jus

If the same person or persons do not listen or focus on what you say, and it is a variety of topics or events, it is not you, it is them.
Some people are just rude, and will not accept or admit it.

Irl it's always my stepdad but it used to be more people when I wasn't just interacting irl with the same 3 people all the time. (Coronavirus)

People think I'm under 16 when I'm actually 32. So they think they have license to call me cheeky or to ignore me when they don't.

My stepdad does it to both of us but refuses to admit that it would be better if he wore a hearing aid. He says it has nothing to do with his hearing but that is the only way I can think of that it wouldn't be incredibly rude behaviour to just ignore people.

See the thing is, I consider the amount of stuff NTs think to be 'rude' to actually be greater than the amount of stuff that is actually 'rude'.

And a lot of autistic people fail to realise there's a hierarchy thing going on in conversations. So when someone is rude to you in specific ways, such as ignoring you, it can be because they deem what you say as unimportant. By reminding them of what you said & making them look foolish, you are wrestling the power back from them onto you. You become the one in control rather than them. I'm tired of being a doormat in order to be polite.

I consider the point of conversations both online and offline to be reaching the truth. If I ignored someone (there's only 1 person I constantly ignore, he's on here & he's more than welcome to pull me up on it as it's an inadequacy on my part!) I wouldn't mind them pointing that out to me. After all, I would be being pretty thick to ignore them esp if they were OP and that would embarrass me and make me want to improve myself in future.

You (generic you) can't find the truth of the situation unless you listen to/read as much as possibly available in terms of what has been provided. Makes you dumb. If someone isn't prepared to read OP, they have no business responding to a topic. If someone isn't prepared to listen to a conversation, they have no business joining in with it. If someone doesn't read a tweet properly, they shouldn't reply. The truth is more important than them running their mouths. And I include myself in that - many times I stay silent in order that I don't appear a fool because I have no advice to give/opinion to give which actually would help in finding the truth.

In verbal conversations I frequently do not realize when the topic is changing.
I think that I focus totally on one thing at a time and do not comprehend that the conversation is turning in a new direction.
It probably appears that I am being stubborn and wanting to talk about what I want to talk about, but it is actually just what I do not comprehend.

So it can be like a kind of deafness then? Not really deafness or blindness just - a disability that means you don't take in all the words?

For me, I have trouble tuning anything out. Useful or not useful.

So the only time I experience that sort of inability to communicate or know what is being said is when we're passing by other people and they're talking louder than we are. This really annoys me when it happens.

The only other trouble I had with comprehension wasn't actual trouble with comprehension - as a 5/6/7 yo kid I kept getting given boring stories to do as comprehension exercises so I made stuff up which would be more exciting as the answers It was all about handwriting anyway & I was bad at that cos I was dyspraxic so I gave up answering their silly questions & focused on creative writing instead...