Always other people ruining my life

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The one big issue in life I keep encountering is actually people and their actions ruining my life.

Last year would have been an ok year had it not been for other people and their actions. Until March things were going well, I was stabilising my life and keeping to a healthy routine. Then one day I was taking my dog for his daily dog walk and a huge dog came running round a blind corner and instantly went for my dog (my dog was on a lead, this one wasn't). Biting him and clearly trying to inflict as much damage as possible. I grabbed my dog away and got him home quick, seeing the owner of the other dog witness what had happened, then they turned their back and walked off.

No support as my main family are dead, having to deal with all of it on my own, the shock, I was bitten during the attack, no resources. I developed PTSD because of this.

Trying to stabilise my life again (without taking my dog for any more walks), which was a huge disruption to my routine and now living with PTSD as well, I knew I had to move to another town where there were more resources, better funded services and more relevant support for me. The only option presented to me was using a home swapping website, and so I gave it a go...

Yet again.... People ruined me. Someone 100% wanted to swap and to cut it short, claimed they would never mess anyone around as they've been messed around before. Weeks, months later after me getting all the paperwork done.... I get a text message "Sorry, I don't think your home or area is right for me". Great... so there's me with all that hope, the relief of moving to this other town soon with proper Asperger's support groups and.... Hope gone....

By the end of 2019, my dog was suffering with his spine, a symptom of when he was attacked earlier in the year. At one point in December 2019, the vets said it's possible he will have to be put to sleep. Great.... More massive distress because of someone else's actions.

That was 2019.... Great.... Had it not been for other people.

Then this year.... Terrible.

In my rented home, Gas safety check in January. The gas "expert" messed it up. Then I had a problem with the toilet not flushing properly, the plumber messed it up (water was flowing out of the overflow pipe down the side of the house after he left). Eventually another plumber came out after I had to keep chasing them, who fixed it and he admitted the guy before had clearly "bodged" it up.

Then....whoa boy.... April/May..... the landlord moved in some horrid neighbours from hell next door. For months I was subject to abuse shouted at me when I left my house, antisocial behaviour, them parking in my driveway, trespassing on my property and so on.

It was hell..... and yet the landlord when contacted did nothing and basically told me it's my problem to deal with. In the end I wasn't even leaving my house at all and I decided I had to move out, to move in with an elderly relative away from these neighbours from hell....

And then!! !! Even when giving in my notice to the landlord. They gave me my move out date, great!! ! I contacted the council, utility companies and so on with this moving out date..... But guess what?? Hours later the landlord emails me saying they gave me the wrong moving out date and it's actually a week earlier!! !! ! So again, contact all companies with this correct moving out date.

Why? Genuinely I can't take anymore of people doing this to me all the time. Constantly I have people making life worse for me.

I've really suffered badly because of other peoples mistakes or actions. It was bad enough that I've been trying to get an Asperger's diagnosis with doctors for several years. I'd go there, get fobbed off, dismissed and never get anywhere. I even told them so many times and provided evidence of it probably being Asperger's, only to be told "No, you don't have Asperger's".

Then... After all these years of being made to feel like a hypochondriac, by chance after trying to end my life (because of other peoples actions) I got to see a medical professional who actually has Asperger's themselves. They fully recognised that indeed, everything points to me having Asperger's. In fact with his understanding, he's put the case forward and now doctors believe I do have Asperger's too and they have secured the funding to get me a diagnosis.

I'm not someone who just blames everyone else. I have made mistakes in life and can put my hands up for the mistakes I've made. But the thing is... With my mistakes, I can actively do all I can to try and rectify or undo those mistakes and make things right. When it's other people causing me problems, there's nothing I can do whatsoever.

It's when others cause me problems like this, I then become suicidal, I genuinely don't want to live anymore when people cause me more problems and often will then drink and gamble heavily, because after all, what else can I do? I can only control or be responsible for my own actions, not someone else's.

NTs live in a hierarchical world. Most will spout generalities that theoretically should apply to all and claim they believe them (maybe they think they do). Truth is, inherently they don't care about what's "right," only how important the person they're dealing with is in the social scheme of things. (This even includes the ones you seemingly get along with.)

In an alternate reality, had you pepper-sprayed that hostile dog before it bit yours, his owner would have called the cops and they would have taken his side and blamed you. In your scenario, he simply walked off scot-free. Lose-lose in either case.

The landlord F-upped royally, yet it's like "Oh well, you're problem."

This is typical with them. And they are the overwhelming majority of people. It sucks. Here's the positive: Know that you're not alone. I hear you loud and clear.

Such wise words there, really appreciated and so so true.

It is that constant thing where with any action = you lose.

Doctors were a great one for that. I go there, explain....Dismissed/Fobbed off. I then think "ok, maybe in the moment I didn't explain myself well enough", send a letter to them explaining it then get accused of being "obsessive" as well as dismissed/fobbed off. Lose/Lose

Drinking then becomes an answer, not good for my health but, when you can't win, why not try and feel happier....even if it is alcohol that's creating the happiness.

I wish you wouldn’t drink to deal with bad people. You’ll ruin your health. Seems like I’m dealing with some of the same problems you are when it comes to inconsiderate people. I’m in hell right now. But I refuse to waste all my money on booze. But anyway it’s your choice. Having a few drinks every once in a while ain’t so bad tho.

If you think the locus of all your misfortunes is other people, it's profoundly depressing ... because there's not much you can do about it.

If on the other hand, you think "maybe I could avoided or mitigated the outcome," it gives you hope of improving things.

If you really want to be depressed, carry on. If you don't, figure out what you can do differently.

But lets be totally honest here...

What could I have done differently regarding walking my dog? I can't predict the future, I wasn't to know a dangerous dog was on the loose before leaving my house for the dog walk.

My dog was on his lead for the entire walk (so nothing I could have done differently). From the point of seeing the other dog, to holding my dog covered in blood it was only 30 seconds, I acted quickly and was bitten because I saved my dogs life.

Then the afters.... Shock, I couldn't leave the house. It's a normal bodily reaction to a traumatic event. Then the PTSD. I then avoided walking my dog because of the distress it caused me trying to go outside with him.

This has a massive knock on effect, such as now it's heavy lockdowns because of Covid, I have so little I can do (just like most people), however walking my dog would have been perfect to break up my days. Yet even now, when I try to take him out, I don't enjoy it because I see so many other people walking their dogs off the lead which triggers my PTSD (Seeing a dog off it's lead triggers the same emotions/upset feeling as I experienced while the dog attack was happening).

That's the problem with what others have put me through, I couldn't have done anything differently and I only become low and depressed from it because of this fact.


What could I have done differently regarding the neighbours from hell? I gathered evidence, reported them to the landlord (who did nothing), I called the police (who did nothing). The abuse they shouted at me was too much for me to handle, so at first, I only went outside after looking through the window and making sure they weren't around. Yet once when I came back from a shop, they were then around shouting abuse at me, so I stopped going out at all as it was entirely likely that not only would the abuse continue but I would end up being beaten up.

Knock on effect.... Staying inside all the time isn't any good for my mental health or wellbeing.


Trust me, when crisis or incident happens, I will always look for a way of getting through it. I will thoroughly research techniques and what support is available, even by joining the relevant web forums and asking others.

Instead of giving the unachievable ways of dealing with every incident, lets just take the dog attack..... It's concluded that the best way to get through the dog attack would have been to sustain dog walks. Starting by walking him in a quiet country field with no other dogs, just so I don't lose that routine. Problem..... I don't drive, I have no support as my family are dead and unless I had a teleporter, it's impossible. So now the battle is dealing with the PTSD, which requires medical support and being on a waiting list for it.


The drinking comes in to play because I've suffered enough in life. I've been a child carer, I saw my closest family members go downhill and die with young onset Parkinson's disease. There's been so much to go through and I've had to be a very strong person.

Due to having to be a strong person, I'm typically very resourceful and look at bettering a situation in any way I can. Yet it's what others have caused that often can't be dealt with as easily (If you punch yourself in the face, the injury caused is your fault, you can get through it knowing you were silly and it was a stupid choice to punch yourself in the face. If someone else punched you in the face, then you could be annoyed, frustrated and maybe start being jumpy around other people).

Some people drink because it's easier than making changes. They might choose to drink instead of enduring the pain of facing up to their problems and doing something to change it. I drink because I'm desperate to change things but I just don't have the tools/resources or support available to do so, so drinking is better than suffering anymore.