Asperger's preventing any enjoyment in life

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Anyone else experience this?

Everyone needs some enjoyment in life. In a way, it balances the bad. A long week of work, then a nice treat after. Weather that's enjoying a hobby or activity, or treating yourself. Life seems to flow when the bad/dull/boring/stressful things are followed by something to look forwards to or enjoy.

I find myself under stress and pressure a lot of the time, but.... Because of Asperger's the things I want to enjoy, I can't actually enjoy.

So take... A coffee shop.... 4 years ago I started enjoying coffee and I was keen to start visiting coffee shops for a treat and something to look forward to in life.

The problem....

In theory it's easy. Leave the house, walk approx 30 mins to coffee shop. Order, sit down, enjoy. Great!! !! But in practice.... No chance!!

I'd leave my house to go, would feel so burnt out though. The loud noises, the eye contact, so draining before I even sat down to have the coffee. Then, I'd leave there feeling gutted, upset, frustrated after zero enjoyment from it because of being burnt out.

Anyway, gradually over time, me going to coffee shops changed from without hesitation leaving the house to go, to debating it.... "Surely it can't be that bad?", "It's easy, why should it feel that overwhelming?" and reluctantly going.... And it being the usual worse than I could have imagined with being burnt out.

Gradually after even more time, I've lost any interest in going after firmly accepting it will always be like that and I just can't go again to leave pretty much in tears with being so burnt out.

This sort of thing has happened with so many other activities and ideas of things to do as well. I give something a go which turns out to be extremely overwhelming and negatively affects my mental health. Then it's better for my health to not go, but I feel annoyed knowing life is too short and I just have to miss out

Nope.

Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. I've never really experienced it myself but I get how it feels.

I avoid a lot of things that I want to do since I know I can't handle them socially or due to sensory reasons. So many things are easy for other people to deal with, but are exhausting and seem impossible to get used to when I try to do them. I'm sorry to hear that you've had the same experience with this.

I do have similar feelings but with me it's probably more related to depression rather than my autism itself. I get where you're coming from, though, and it sounds awful. I usually enjoy myself better when I'm alone.

A few to distinguish;

It's called anxiety.
The idea not only can give one a possible headache and overwhelm, it also alarms you with thoughts and ideas to fail or be judged before it happens.
It escalates everything that autism confronts and appears to be.

Then there's sensitivity and stress, in which usually conjuncts with the above. This is something you have to know and understand to yourself.

Do you know how to equip yourself -- from the noises, worn comfortable clothing, appropriate footwear? That's a way to lessen overwhelm.
And what are your health habits? Your lifestyle?
And other routes along with sort of compensation techniques and planning.



And the little truth about burning out and enjoying what burns you out -- those two things are not truly mutually exclusive.

I think this can only happen if you're completely yourself, no masking and no minding a lot of rules in your head.
The exhaustion would be the least of worries. But not recommended to repeatedly do it in long term still!



As for me...
I'm not even sure if it's relevant to autism. It's just something I didn't had until around puberty and it gets worse since teenage years.

It's the subtle sensitivities. Small internal changes gone bigger than it should.
I don't have to get out into a cacophonic place to lose my peace.
Cause I figured external -- not internal though.

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