As in, it's not bad, but not particularly good, either, just... blah. It's boring. I'm not exactly dreading anything much right now, which is something I should be grateful about, which I am grateful about, but there isn't really anything concrete to look forward to, either. Normally, I'd at least have some hobby event to look forward to, would probably have one in June at least, but not this year 'cause, you know, Covid. For the same reason I can't really plan some trip either, which is something I'd look forward to under normal circumstances. I mean, of course I could look over maps and see what kinds of hotels are in the area and such without actually booking anything, but that gets boring in the long run when you have no idea when you can go. Trust me, I've tested. I had planned to go to Ireland last autumn, but that naturally didn't work out... maybe close to the end of the year, then? Or around this time next year?
Anyway, meh. These days, the things that get me out of my gray bubble are simple stuff like finding a good story from the internet and reading that... I found one not too long ago and couldn't wait to get home from work to read more, but now I've caught up and have no idea when the author will publish more... I read a lot, but it's hard to find anything mind blowing as my standards get higher the more good stuff I read. I write too, but I don't really get as excited as I used to while waiting for comments on my writings since I rarely get them. My work ain't all that popular...
But I suppose at least March is gonna suck. I've got four doctor's appointments, five if I count the blood test needed, and I don't like that. Of course, they are just routine inspections due to my disabilities and chronic illnesses; nothing should be wrong, but just in case. If something is wrong then things ain't gonna be so gray anymore, but they'll go to the wrong direction... and regardless if things are wrong or not, there are going to be quite high medical bills with all that.
In a nutshell, I'm just whining here 'cause I'm bored. I tend to need some clear goal and time limit to aim to, to get through the boring parts of the day/week/month, but currently I don't have such a thing so I'm a little whiny.
15 Feb 2021, 4:28 am
