Fed up now

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I'm fed up with lockdown, this has been going on for too long all these social restrictions and lockdowns. I understand why we have to have them but I just hope it will be over soon. Yes I do have the fear of the COVID disease incited into me but I'm also suffering with loneliness. My boyfriend has lost his sex drive so I can't get sex any more, his sex drive only increases when he's drunk but he doesn't seem to drink so much any more. I phone my mother every day and I do text/Facebook my friends and cousins but I still miss them and I want to physically see them again. A couple of my (Aspie/Fragile-X) friends aren't really the texting/phoning type, they prefer to meet me and we do things like outings and stuff.
I know people are getting vaccines now but people keep still dying and I'm worried the vaccines might not have much effect, and I don't think I'm due for my vaccine until August. I'm worried about having it too because I read that a side effect can be vomiting and I have a severe phobia of vomiting; I'd literally rather die than vomit. It said that 1 in 10 people may experience vomiting as a side effect and I cannot bear to vomit.

I'm just feeling down today, and I keep hating myself for having Asperger's even though I haven't really done anything very Aspie lately, but I just feel jealous of my cousin because I feel like she should be an Aspie but I don't think she is. Why just me?

Have you tried taking up any hobbies in doors to take your mind off of being cooped up?

Yes, and it does help. But today I've just been feeling down and everything's just been getting to me. I keep worrying that my boyfriend doesn't love me any more (even though he got me a valentine's card). He sometimes seems aloof and distant, while I'm more open and emotional. He's lost his sex drive and I don't get any sex.

Do you live with your boyfriend?

In a way I wish I got to work from home. Instead I got a DHS letter excusing me from any curfew, so I could travel to work no matter what.

Yes.

I just feel depressed because my cousin is more socially intelligent than me, and I always thought (and hoped) that she was on the spectrum. She showed a lot of autism signs when she was a toddler, while I showed none as a toddler. She didn't make eye contact, was often in her own world, showed a lot of repetitive behaviours (like when on a bouncy castle with other children she just bounced repetitively in one place for ages and didn't show much social interest), and some other autistic-like traits. She lacked confidence at school and got involved with the bad kids for the sake of having friends. And she seemed naive for her age. Even as an adult she doesn't seem to know how to join in conversation and can only talk to one person at a time. And it wasn't due to her upbringing because her sisters are not like her.
But she seems NT because on Facebook a girl in her class at school said that they should go out for a girly night when the pandemic is over, and she didn't really know this girl at school that well, she was just in her class but didn't really hang out. Having girly nights with your old (NT) schoolfriends is the most NT thing to do in the world. Do I have old schoolfriends on Facebook suggesting to me a girly night out? Nope. Why? Because I'm an Aspie.

Makes me feel like a social failure, even though I have become much more confident and have gotten good at chatting to people and being friendly, and I show casual interests in people on Facebook and can express my feelings well. I don't even talk about my obsession.

When you say he has lost his drive, do you mean lack of interest or lack of ability to perform?

Lack of interest in sex, but not lack of interest in me. He just is never in the mood for sex, all he wants to do is sleep even though he is unemployed. Yes I do understand the fact that he may be depressed, but then so am I.

Not sure what to say if his main interest is sleeping.

I feel fed up of lockdown too! I just want to do stuff and go places again...

Sometimes people may not want sex.

It may not have anything to do with you.

I would find other sexual outlets if you need to.

perhaps you should get his testosterone levels checked
as this can cause loss in libido, fatigue etc.

lack of exercise can also cause people to want to sleep a lot

perhaps you can get him some aphrodisiacs
or zinc / broccoli /

to naturally boost his testosterone

I know that, but this has been a year now.
It's quite normal to feel upset when you're lacking sex in a relationship.



I know that too, it's just a shame that he lacks interest in sex now.

It sounds like your boyfriend might be feeling a bit depressed and depression often kills libido. Lockdown has been so exhausting for so so so many people. The good news from the messages here though is that he still sounds interested in you. Perhaps when this covid-19-20-21 crap is over, you will get the sexual intercourse you want from him.