Bloody upstairs neighbour

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Me and my boyfriend live in an apartment below a very annoying woman. We can't exactly do anything about her noise because she's not actually breaking any rules, but that doesn't mean I can't rant about her.

She lives on her own and I don't often see people go round to visit, but she is one of those obsessive cleaner type. The floorboards are creaky and she's always constantly moving about. She doesn't have a job any more and she hardly goes out, so day and night she's there, and she must be insomnic too because we hear her moving and banging at night and in the early hours if one of us is awake.
She's constantly doing her washing, as we hear her washing machine going every day, and we don't know what she's washing each day because she only lives alone and she isn't doing a laundry service.

The only time we get a bit of peace is when she's outside hanging all her wet clothes up on the clothes line.

She's always vacuuming too - and she moves all her furniture around each time she vacuums, because we can hear her scraping and rumbling above, even at midnight. We have to have the TV on all day to drown out her noise, although we can still hear her but it's not as distracting.

I wish we could live in an upstairs apartment where we haven't got anyone above us, but my boyfriend has arthritis in his knees so it's better to be downstairs, and most apartment buildings around here don't have elevators.

Just felt like ranting.

Noisy people above you are the worst

You mean it's not against the rules to move heavy furniture and wash laundry at night? In my building it is because it's stuff that causes extra noise and can be done during day time. Are you sure she's allowed to do so during night time?

Well she can't sleep and I suppose she doesn't know what else to do each night other than do the stuff she has just done all day. She definitely has OCD, but I think she does these things over and over again because of boredom. She's retired now but seems to have so much energy that she doesn't know what to do with.

I hate hearing her noise, but at the same time I'd feel guilty complaining to the landlords because she might get upset and become a "petty neighbour" or that she might feel like she's got to tread on eggshells or something.

That’s a risk but have you tried just talking to her? Maybe she doesn’t realize how much noise transmits downwards

We feel a bit awkward telling her how noisy she is. But surely she must have a bit of consideration when doing vacuuming, or moving furniture across the room at all times of the day and night (an activity that doesn't seem necessary). I understand insomnia as me and my boyfriend sometimes get insomnic, but if we do we usually do quiet activities during the night, like watching TV (not loudly), or reading a book or magazine, or anything really that doesn't involve moving too much or banging loudly. I'd have thought she'd know that the things she does can be heard especially during the night.

I think she may be a hoarder too, because my boyfriend and I have never seen her take out her trash like the other neighbours do. But we can't really assume.

In NYC, people aren’t allowed to make disturbing noise after 10 PM (2200 hours).

I would honestly just move, or complain to the landlord. It probably won't do much though.

I've had it before where you get neighbours like this. They have like no consideration for others at all.

Moving is expensive but it'd be worth it if she's that bad just for the peace of mind to be honest.

I lived in an apartment and there were things I didn't do at night like vacuum, do work outs, and I never had my TV or music on up high but the neighbors below us thought we did elephants above them. We were just living our normal lives and honestly there is nothing you can do about noise. It's a building problem. They are too cheap to put any sound proofing between floors. I mean this isn't even a problem in our home but it's way worse in apartments.

I have never lived below anyone so I have no idea what it is like. I have watched YouTube videos about it and I think it's just builders being too cheap with apartments.

I am talking about normal living here, not blaring music or shouting matches or parties.

This is why I don't like to complain to the landlords because it's not like she's got loud music or having loud parties, etc.

But yesterday we got one of her letters in our mail so my boyfriend took it up to her. He reckons she has some sort of paranoia and a hoarding problem, because she unlocked about 6 locks before opening her door, and behind her he could see loads of stuff piled almost to the ceiling.

So we don't like to complain to her about her noise because it seems like she has a few issues so she might not take it very well.
But that doesn't mean I can't feel irritated by her noise.

I think you can still talk to her for about night time so she can do quiet things at night. She may not realize how noisy is it down below. I even discovered that even walking in my own carpeted apartment was elephants so I know there was so much we could do to be considerate of our neighbors down below.

But you are right she doesn't need to move furniture every day or vacuum all day long.

What was the letter for?

Maybe you could tell her that you need your beauty rest because you need to go to work in the mornings.

Maybe you could invite her for a cup of tea Joe, that would break the ice at least so that you don't feel like strangers. You could at some point gently break to her that you don't sleep too well and that you hear her at night. It does seem like she has some mental issues. Was she nice when your BF took her letter up? Find out if it is a good idea to approach her and invite her for tea from other neighbours who may know her before you do?
It is terrible having noisy upstair neighbours.

That does seem like a nice idea.
She is always friendly, and we are always polite to her. But she is quite reserved so I'm not sure if she would come in for a cuppa or not.
The thing is, I don't have very good hearing but that doesn't mean I'm not sensitive to some sounds. When she moves her furniture about upstairs I can't hear it as much as my boyfriend can but it still hurts my ears, unlike my boyfriend. So it's like my ears pick up on the vibration but don't send the signal to my brain quick enough. It can even affect my balance!
But I hear it more at night, but it still hurts. My ears have always been ultrasensitive to low, rumbling sounds above me. If it was next door or below, it wouldn't be so bad.

Sorry to be a wet blanket but noisy neighbours are an unfortunate symptom of apartment living. There's very limited options when you have noisy neighbors and I have lost count of the annoying neighbors I have had over the years.

The only time I have had to intervene was with a single mother and her son. The boy kicked a soccer ball on the walls which made an awful racket. I complained but the mother became really aggressive and claimed her son needed to play. He would bring his friends over and they would skateboard through the corridors.

The landlord said they couldn't do anything as the noise abatement laws apply after midnight so they couldn't take action.

Another time a family had a late night party and the police did come but everytime the police arrived they turned down the music and waited till they left then turned the music up.

I must admit I was one of those irritating young men making drunken noise in my 20s and recall having a young woman knocking on our apartment door at 3am in the morning saying she had to study for exams. Instead of lowering the racket we propositioned her. She left disgusted. Alcohol makes you do stupid things.

Well, I live on 2nd (top) floor in a small apartment building in a quiet part of Copenhagen...

… that is, it *used* to be quiet until the owner of the building decided to add another floor…

… So now my upstairs "neighbor" is a construction crew which starts drilling, banging and sawing from 7 in the morning and keeps going until 7 in the afternoon… They even had to tear down and replace parts of my ceiling so it wouldn't collapse on me… They've been at it since January, and they'll be at it for the rest of the year...

During the big COVID-19 lockdown in Denmark before summer (when I was forced to work from home) the power drills basically made me nauseous and gave me a constant headache.

At least now working from home is only "recommended", so I can fortunately go to work again...