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I just turned 39. And I'm seriously thinking about ending my life if I still don't have a girlfriend by my 40th birthday.

Don't, because it may be that a girl is looking for someone like you and you are not there if you do, so she will forever be lonely too.

Hang in there. They say that life begins at 40. Uhmmm. I am not sure what that means, but I became 40 and at 39 it feels scary, but at 40 one wonders what all the fuss was about!

Live your life and enjoy it. Go for refreshing walks in the countryside. Enjoy the pleasures... See the sights! Go on a train ride, or an outing in a car... Go by bicycle or by foot. Plan an outing. Do something good...

Or have a new adventure right where you are? A hobby like model railroading! A miniature world of wonder! Who knows. One might meet some friends as well!

If that was possible, something would've happened by now.



So what?! 'They' say a lot of stupid sh!t.



None of that matters if I'm going to be alone forever.

Girls are going to sense that stress and it will push them away.
You are on a path in which you are guaranteeing your defeat.
Stop it.

Girls never were interested to begin with.

You’ve achieved so much.

Why blow it all?

There’s so much more to life than having a romantic partner.

I understand loneliness.....I’ve felt similarly....but you’ve done so much.

I am so fed the f**k with having this f**king carrot perpetually dangled in front of my face but constantly yanked away every time I move toward it. I've been playing this f**king game for twenty f**king years, and I'm fed the f**k up with constant empty promises of "it'll happen if you just wait a little more, then a little more, then a little more" over and over. As I already said: if it was possible, something would have happened by now.

Besides, as I've explained elsewhere, its already too late at this point for me to have the kind of relationship I want. I never got to be with young attractive lady when I was younger, and its still important to me to experience that. And I've noticed that as I've gotten older, all the women I find attractive are younger then and I'm just attracted to women my own age anymore. I'm not saying I don't ever want to be with a woman over 40, but I'm very bothered by the idea of never being with a woman younger than that. Besides, by my age women have kids that are 16-19 years old at this point. I don't mind dating someone with little kids, but going from never having kids to getting involved with someone with kids old enough to be in college really weirds me out. And by my age women have been through at least one divorce and have been raising children for at least 15 or 16 years, while I'm still practically a virgin. That is way too huge a disparity in life experiences and I couldn't relate to someone like that I doubt she could relate to me.



That would all be true...


...if it was what I said. This has nothing to do with "when I want it." The point is not that I don't have a girlfriend right freakin' now, but that I never will.

Of course I don't want to die; I want to have a happy, normal life with a beautiful wife and a family that loves me. You know, just like literally every other person I know? But since I know that will never happen for me, I would rather be dead than to continue to feel like some f**king loser nobody will ever love because I'm a godd**ned freak.

Last edited by dorkseid on 29 May 2021, 10:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

None of that matters if I'm still going to be alone and unwanted for the rest of my life.

This isn't about feeling lonely just right now. Its that I always have and always will be lonely.

I cannot choose not to be a lonely unlovable freak for the remainder of my life. The only thing I have any control over is how long the remainder of my life has to be.

Last edited by dorkseid on 29 May 2021, 10:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

!	Cornflake wrote:
	. Some posts were removed which had absolutely no place in The Haven. A reminder of the site rules specific to this forum: viewtopic.php?t=297515 .

If you have friends, you are not “unloveable.”

Your work colleagues probably value you greatly.

You’re thinking too “black and white.” You’re thinking in absolutes.

Just because you don’t have a lover doesn’t mean people don’t care about you.

I fine you are devaluing your friendships. Your friends would be pissed that you did yourself in without regarding how much they care about you—even if they don’t want to get into your pants.

Sex, intimacy, and having a family of my own some day are important to me.

I do appreciate the friends I have. But loving a friend is not the same as loving an intimate partner. If women can only see me as a friend, that means I'm unlovable loser.

If my friends do care about me, they won't want me pain to continue.

Trust me on this, if you end your life, all it will mean that you lose your body, you will still be aware, be able to think, grieve, and the mental agony will be much worse.

As for partners. I wanted a partner, hankered after one, no one came.
Then I had unsuitable relationships.
Then, I wanted to be single, really wanted to be single, got loads of offers.

That's the way it works, letting go, look up the art of letting go, when we let go of things, not grasping, we find they come our way if that is what we need.

If you end your life, you will know you ended it, you will bitterly regret it.
I have much experience of suicidality.
I accidentally took a drug cocktail that could have killed me when I was doing recreational drugs.
I thought, "whoops, I'm not bothered about living anyway" Before passing out I wrote a note "THIS IS NOT A SUICIDE, IT'S AN ACCIDENTAL DRUG OVERDOSE" - I never bothered to get emergency services to administer a drug that could have saved me. I just didn't want people to think I had deliberately topped myself, as I never, I would not know how to overdose anyway with out causing serious injury.
All I can say is THANK GOD I am still alive, I still have the same problems, but those problems would be much worse if I had died all because I did not have the will to live enough to get an ambulance to revive me from the accidental OD.

And do you have any proof of this?

Everything you mentioned requires a living, functioning brain. Once the brain is dead, none of these are possible anymore. That is a scientifically proven fact.