I'm unable to function after witnessing a rape yesterday

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It was more of an attempted rape, but it was still graphic, brutal, and well traumatizing. I dont want to describe the rape in detail only because its too depraved and triggering for many on this forum, but its definitely bad enough where my innocence is now gone and I feel violated inside watching it without doing anything. A lot of it was shock that paralyzed me, but part of me feels unsatisfied with that and feels like had I kicked myself hard enough I could've done more than freeze and stare with eyes wide open.

im feeling like im in hell. Mind you in my entire life ive never ever even seen a pornographic image because of my anxiety of seeing bad images, and my OCD in not violating rules of purity is so strong and irresistible my mind has never even so much as had a bad thought in my life because of my anxiety preventing that, but witnessing what I did yesterday is making me barf and feel unable to function today.

I dont want to see a therapist because therapists are trash and I hate them and they all suck, but this mental trauma is so bad I feel like I might actually need to see a therapist

Why do you say this about "all" therapists? There exist both good therapists and bad therapists. Some of us here have had good experiences with therapists, others have had bad experiences.


Good luck finding a decent therapist, if you decide to see one.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 31 May 2021, 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don’t blame you at all, I would be appalled at anyone who could go through that and not be deeply affected, even without the extra factors you have. And while of course it would be great if you had been able to interfere, you were experiencing entirely natural emotions and entirely natural physical reaction to those emotions, and it is not your fault. Anyone who thinks otherwise has clearly never experienced anything traumatic firsthand.

I don’t know how much a therapist would or would not actually be likely to help and don’t want to make the wrong recommendation out of ignorance, so I’m not going to try to push you one way or the other there, but I at least wanted to say this.