I'm at the bottom of life again

Post Reply New Topic

This month was a grueling month

Lots of hell I'd rather not talk about

Doctors who dont know what's wrong with me

Brain issues that make reading a lot harder and sometimes even feeling dyslexic

On medical leave unemployed

Gained weight from lack of exercise and feel like a failure

I look at my phone every night with the photos of myself when I was happier and more handsome, photos of me back when I used to say I cured depression without medicine and back when I had 0 depression symptoms

I look back at those photos from June before my body fell apart in July and ask myself:

"How did the once happy and successful person who was once feeling so on top of life, how did he fall so low as to be at the bottom"

I'm a miserable wreck right now just laying in bed crying at what I used to be compared to where I am now

Depression might not be something that can be cured, only controlled.

That's a pill I refuse to swallow

I know I cured it in June

I know I did

Had it not been for my body inexplicably failing me in July I would still be happy and healthy

Didn't curing only last short-term and basically involve driving your body into the ground, resulting in the decline of health?

Depression is an ongoing condition for many people. It doesn't just get cured for good, it gets managed for life.

What's the point in living life with an incurable disease?

I get the impression you no longer have a girlfriend?

Things falling apart. Building our lives from scratch again and again.
That's how we learn living.
Especially if our growing up was screwed up by trauma.
Outgrowing trauma can be a repetitive process.
Brother.

Life goes on even if it's imperfect because it's always imperfect. You do what you can to create purpose and meaning for yourself and you accept it will involve struggle and hardship and that it will test your willpower and perseverance.

This is what I meant when I was saying overexercise as a cure for depression doesn't work, it's because it can't be sustained (not because it won't work short-term). It's like how sleep deprivation can't be used as a cure either. It works for awhile but eventually the cost can't be paid and you start off worse than you started.

There's no hack for good mental health and if trauma is involved like magz says, the process of learning how to manage it can be repetitive. If one has learned maladaptive coping skills unlearning them is likely to be part of the process. It might be a lifelong process, but then again living and learning about how to be the best person you can are also lifelong processes.

Exercise isn't a guaranteed cure for depression.

In fact, people can use the endorphin high to avoid having to face their problems. Also, injuries happen and bodies age. If your mental health is completely dependent on exercise, then you're eventually going to hit a wall.

Exercise helps to some degree, along with sunshine, quality sleep, and a healthy diet.
There has been a lot of studies done on this.
It is not a binary where exertion is the be-all and end-all.

The issue is that the problem is itself depression rather than depression being a reaction to a problem. The gene for depression is ultra strong in my family since all my uncles and aunts barring 3 are diagnosed with SEVERE depression, my grandpa had Bipolar Disorder, I've lost 2 cousins to suicide and ive been clinically depressed since I was 10. Exercise cured me of that depression. There's no problem to face except the depression itself. Even if my life were perfect, even if I never faced 1 setback in life, even if I faced no trauma just by the fact that the gene for depression is so strongly in my DNA I would still have to fight Depression

Say no to it. Do not accept it. You can get yourself up and put the pieces back together!

Same here.

My genes suck. In the military, I developed the habit of running every other day to deal with stress and depression. Now, my right knee is screwed-up and I can't run anymore.

It really does suck.

The alternate of giving up is not a good one.
Think of family, friends, significant others, and of course, pets.

salad, glad to see you! get well!

it will get better, when I got injured and was bedridden I lost a big contract, but it turned out to be a good thing.

if exercise is not a feasible option in your current condition, some exercise-mimetic intervention would work: breathing exercises and some physiotherapy. You can just flex/relax some of your major muscles like 500 times, it might be enough. Talk to your doctor first, breathing exercises are very powerful in terms of vasoconstriction and vasodilation, there are contraindications.

The mere idea of "cure for depression" is wrong. There is no "cure for depression" in the same sense there is no cure for dehydration. Every perfectly healthy person needs to drink enough water on daily basis to prevent dehydration. Every perfectly healthy person needs to do certain things on daily basis to prevent depression. Physical activity is just one of those things.

Welcome back, salad. I'm sorry things are so rough for you. It seems like you are taking account of some things that you weren't talking about before. This might be a weird sort of growth opportunity - learning to love yourself even with a very different self-image. My daughter has had some really challenging problems, starting with traumatic brain injury, and has had a lot of trouble with reading, too. She has had to learn to celebrate small victories.

Good luck to you. I won't be checking in here often as I don't do WP as much as I used to. But I'll be thinking of you.