I've been having a nightmares and extremely upsetting thoughts just about every night for months. I'm not sure when it started but it often is the result of the stress that losing three jobs, trying to get a new job, and being replaced by self checkouts at a previous cashier job. Among other things of course. I've nearly lost all hope that I will be able to support myself in any capacity. Even after being told by multiple sources that my most recent interview was one of the best interviews the store where I interviewed at had ever seen, they still decided not to hire me. It's driving me to the edge at this point. I like to work, I always make sure I do the best possible job I can, but they always try to get rid of me. I just can't take it anymore. I used to sleep all day when I was really upset, which would help keep me calm, but now I often try to avoid sleeping because I know I'll be bothered by all manner of uncomfortable thoughts. Some of which make me extremely angry. I'm not sure what to do now. Does anyone have ideas for how I can better handle this? Video games used to help me feel better, but I loose interested in them too quickly now. I started making up my own my own fun with miniature board games, it's helping a little bit. At the very least it keeps me distracted from my troubles. But I'm still bothered by many things when I try to sleep. I feel like I've failed at nearly everything in life.
10 Jul 2021, 2:56 pm
