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Joe90
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06 Aug 2021, 10:57 am

My boyfriend said that when his two nieces and one nephew were teenagers they all got their first jobs at 16 or 17 years old. But all 3 of them were high school dropouts, didn't get any grades (because they didn't attend their exams), and they were involved in drugs in some way. But not just one but all three of them got hired in the first job interview they attended. One got a job waitressing at a restaurant, one got a job in McDonald's and the boy got a job in a military warehouse that actually paid good money.

I asked my boyfriend if he or his sister or any other adults related to them knew the people that managed these places or knew any of the employees that could have got them in the jobs but he said no, they were just random places they applied to and just got the jobs straight away.

I am so baffled by this because when I left school I had grades (not good grades really but still had grades) and had gone to college and done volunteering too, but it took me over 5 years before I finally got hired in a cleaning job, and that was because a relative of mine worked there and she got me in. And I wouldn't be in the job I'm in now if it wasn't for my boyfriend (he works there too).
So how on earth did these 3 high school dropouts with no qualifications or anything manage to get their first jobs so young, yet others like myself got rejection after rejection after rejection?
They are not much younger than me, so when they left school they left right in a recession where jobs were hard to come by and about 60 people would apply for one job.

Now they're in their late 20s and are all in high, well-paid jobs (one's a manager of a store, one's a builder and one's training to be a doctor - so she got into university without any grades to her name.

So this just shows that grades at school mean nothing. If I'd known this I would have dropped out of high school too, then maybe I would have got a job at 16.


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maycontainthunder
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06 Aug 2021, 11:39 am

I'll tell you why; not having any qualifications means that you are unlikely to get bored after three months and quit which is often what happens when you do have qualifications...this comes from a company I applied to but found out later that they don't employ intelligent people in grunt grade jobs......

My advice is don't put ANY qualification on an application unless it may be needed for the job.



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06 Aug 2021, 2:42 pm

It's called lying;


One of the prerequisites of keeping up with the NTs is not merely about knowing the game and follow it's rules -- but knowing the rule cheats, the system cheats, and therefore everyone is expecting to cheat AND learn how to not get caught.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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06 Aug 2021, 2:53 pm

Your situation is different from the nieces and nephew's situation

Every situation different

Every situation has a lot of factors that determine the outcome (job or nothing)

Different personalities, cities, years

For example


Not enough information to answer the question


But based on wrong planet, it sounds like autistics have a much harder time getting jobs than neurotypicals. All things equal. Which they are not. Not a controlled experiment. Not a representative sample



hurtloam
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06 Aug 2021, 3:31 pm

Same Joe. I'm baffled. I dropped out of high school and couldn't get a job. I just wanted to be away from school and earn my own money. Couldn't even get a job peeling potatoes in a chip shop.

It was a year and a half before I found a job. I had to do a technical college course to get a foot in the door.



goldfish21
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06 Aug 2021, 7:46 pm

Because they're not autistic, made a good first impression, and interviewed well. Social skills.


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Pepe
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06 Aug 2021, 7:52 pm

@ The OP.

My executive dysfunction and short term memory problems make me pretty much unemployable.
I just got lucky finding good people at a time it was easy getting a job. 8)



Joe90
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07 Aug 2021, 4:41 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Because they're not autistic, made a good first impression, and interviewed well. Social skills.


I knew a lot of NTs that couldn't find jobs when they left school, whether they had grades or not. They always put it down to being young and inexperienced. If I was an employer I wouldn't hire 16-year-old high school dropouts. And how did the youngest niece get into university with no grades and train to be a doctor? I heard that you have to have certain grades to get into university.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Aug 2021, 6:41 am

Stop comparing yourself to other people.

I have a university degree. I graduated with honors. I won academic awards. Yet, I’m still just a clerk with 40 years of no promotions. I’m halfway a laughingstock in my family.

My brother barely got his high school equivalency diploma. He became a millionaire.

I’m still a good guy. And you’re still a good woman.



Joe90
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07 Aug 2021, 8:31 am

Quote:
Stop comparing yourself to other people.


I know, it's not doing me any good but at the same time I can't help it. I feel resentful and bitter about being on the spectrum and I try to think of ways to punish myself. I shouldn't have been born with Asperger's, I should have been neurotypical like everyone else.


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07 Aug 2021, 8:34 am

Were they known to be related to someone who was an important member in their local communities? If yes then that could explain it; even if no one put a word in for them directly, they might be seen as trustworthy and hard working people due to the connection. Or the ones who hired them might've wanted to suck up to that important figure.

Or maybe all three of them are really charismatic and charmed the interviewers?

Joe90 wrote:
And how did the youngest niece get into university with no grades and train to be a doctor? I heard that you have to have certain grades to get into university.


I'm not sure if this applies to studying medicine too or if it's a thing in Britain, but here for many fields in a university you don't necessarily need good grades from high school if you do well in the entrance exam.



Joe90
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07 Aug 2021, 8:45 am

The point I'm making is that grades mean nothing. If I knew this when I was younger, I wouldn't have bothered to turn up to my exams. I don't know why some teenagers stress so much about their exams.


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Edna3362
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07 Aug 2021, 9:28 am

Joe90 wrote:
The point I'm making is that grades mean nothing. If I knew this when I was younger, I wouldn't have bothered to turn up to my exams. I don't know why some teenagers stress so much about their exams.

It does not really mean much at all. Really. :lol:

Especially when one can have all the talent and hard work, and still land no where because luck -- which is I observed and witnessed from where I came from and therefore learnt sooner.


Your system's unlike the usual East Asians systems where whatever one did in their 3rd grade reflects their credibility in their adult life.
Therefore there are less strict and high standard parents.

And, some are simply either chose or brought up as perfectionists -- usually by parents who emphasized their sacrifice for their children or something to that effect. It usually happens to families of economic range.
Or just competitive families, or worse.

I've seen plenty of these type of people develop anxieties, various executive dysfunction -- and the general fear of failure in obvious.
Not everyone can afford perfectionism and achieve lasting and consistent results that reflects well in real life.


Nor do life itself reflect well at what one did well in childhood doesn't reflect well in their future. Life would never, ever follow a perfectionists' rule.

It is very much the case with NDs in general.
It is not limited to those with varying developmental delays and learning disorders -- that even includes people who are dubbed as gifted.



Really. I can always take school seriously at youth, become a scholar, be in honors with a lot of medals or something.

But down the lane in real life, would my life be any better even then compared to what I have now?? :lol:
Would that get me a better job than I have now? Would that even allow me to go abroad and in capacity?

Would that stop me from developing auditory issues? Would that stop be from burning out? Would that prevent me from exploding during my pubescent years?
Would that make my family afford possible treatments for this hormonal mess?

I don't think so.
I imagine worse -- I'd probably burnout sooner and faster, maybe regress harder.

I may even never able to overcome mental health issues by clinging too much to the alleged 'potential' and 'talent' -- this is more or less the same thing as clinging to the idea that one should be NT.

On top of people assuming levels of competence that I'm not or no longer able to perform.
I'd wager in that life, I'd be less willing to live and still stuck over myself and be sick over myself.

A hypothetical version of me who worried about grades would be an honor rolls with achievements alright.
Have prouder parents, more stuff to brag in papers and reminisces in school days.

But that same version of me is likely sicker, weaker and possibly more broken than fulfilled.


And...
I know what it feels like to be frustrated to not learn life facts and 'lessons' such as these.

I also missed a lot of lessons others able to figure by the time before they're 10 while I'm too busy wrestling for self control.
It just happened that this very particular lesson I learnt much sooner.


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Fireblossom
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07 Aug 2021, 10:43 am

Joe90 wrote:
The point I'm making is that grades mean nothing. If I knew this when I was younger, I wouldn't have bothered to turn up to my exams. I don't know why some teenagers stress so much about their exams.


Oh, right. Yeah, I suppose they don't, aside from making getting to the next school easier if you continue your education. It is kind of messed up how much weight is put on the academics in school when they don't mean nearly as much after leaving school. I got excellent to decent marks from when I studied business, but not in any job interview I've been to has anyone been interested in that. Of course, if I were to continue my education to the next level or other field at some point, then my grades would matter, but they don't mean anything in the job market.

Man, I wish they would've taught us networking. That would be useful for real.



goldfish21
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07 Aug 2021, 12:10 pm

Joe90 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Because they're not autistic, made a good first impression, and interviewed well. Social skills.


I knew a lot of NTs that couldn't find jobs when they left school, whether they had grades or not. They always put it down to being young and inexperienced. If I was an employer I wouldn't hire 16-year-old high school dropouts. And how did the youngest niece get into university with no grades and train to be a doctor? I heard that you have to have certain grades to get into university.


People go back to school and upgrade their courses and grades, or after a certain number of years may be let into University as a "mature student," and their high school grades don't really count for anything anymore. Then if they do the work and make the grades they could indeed qualify to get into a medical school.

I've heard that medical schools are different in the UK than here - easier to get into and have set programs and paths from basic studies to MD completion, so, maybe she figured out a way to get in and do what she wanted. I chatted with a medical student here in Canada who was doing his studies in Ireland because it was easier to get in than anywhere in Canada and then once he finished he'd still qualify for work here - but - just because he qualifies doesn't mean he'll be able to get a Canadian job.. I've Also heard that attending any Canadian medical school is ideal, or American, and other than that if you study somewhere else it becomes significantly more difficult to land a Canadian job.


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07 Aug 2021, 12:17 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Stop comparing yourself to other people.

I have a university degree. I graduated with honors. I won academic awards. Yet, I’m still just a clerk with 40 years of no promotions. I’m halfway a laughingstock in my family.

My brother barely got his high school equivalency diploma. He became a millionaire.


You think that is sad?
In comparison to me, you are the Emperor of the universe. 8)