I have zero friends

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Can people with autism / aspergers make friends in real life and how ? By the way i dont look good and i have other mental diseases (social anxiety and depression).

İ was able to make friends when i was acting a certain way. Overly nice, acting like i am similar to the person i am talking to and mimicking them.

If i am not acting to some degree i would probably not have any friends.

I think it happens. But to have a *real* friend requires, I think, someone who can understand you enough to actually like you, so that as they learn more about you, the relationship can continue. Or you could run into one of those people who like everybody, no matter how dissimilar, and who isn't put off by almost any behavior. I've seen a few people who seemed like that, but for whatever reason we didn't turn out to be real friends, but are still acquaintances.

Acquaintances are easier, people you can do things with and enjoy the interaction. You just have to look around for people doing the kinds of things you like to do. Or just walk up to, maybe, a neighbor doing something in the yard and ask them about it; that can turn into a pleasant acquaintance. I don't stand there talking long enough to get into politics or religion or anything else heavy or divisive.

What are you talking about? Of course people with AS certainly can make friends!

However, I myself also have anxiety issues, so would you consider (if this ever actually happens) making friends with people who have problems with their own mental well-being?

It is possible.

This is what has worked for me (YMMV).....

I make most of my friends from interest groups / hobby groups these days.

Occassionally I make an odd friend from striking up a conversation with a person in a public place (honestly it is rare that these progress to friendship though)

Even more rarely, I make friends with a co worker.

Sure our kind can make friends. Good looks don’t matter. (Also, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.)

I don’t know how or why I befriend people or why they befriend me. ? Usually as a ‘side-effect’ of a shared interest / hobby / activity. Something causes me to meet them and somehow it’s just someone I like / like talking with / hearing from. Perhaps because of a similar sense of humour, similar hobby’s, similar way of “dealing with life in general” etc. Some kind of common ground. I don’t know what it is.

But so far never their looks, particularly. Not because they don’t look good but its never so far been the reason why I like a friend.

(But most of my friends are male. The ones that are not, obviously are better looking simply because of that , but still it’s not their looks that make me like them as a friend.)

At age 23 I had less friends then now. I might have been friendless for a bit. (Or forgotten about friends I hadn’t spoken to in years etc and just felt lonely). I don’t keep track of year/age/date but their has been a period where the ones from my study-year/group-thing that I got along with well just went to study other subjects etc. and there was no-one left as the rest of the group already had formed subgroups of friends.


Don’t despair. I don’t know how to “make friends” either. Still somehow got friends. Maybe they befriend me?
They are usually more social / extravert, or just older and wiser and calmer (*). It might be one of those things that cannot be forced. (Then again, there was that one person at one of the study groups who extremely actively introduced himself to everyone and made sure to remember our names etc. and he turned out to be actually friendly. Made the rest of us nerds more social. Everyone knew him so he was some kind of social binding force. (No worries, afaik he still exist, I just left the group and lost touch. It’s been years ago))


Depression lies, don’t buy into what it tells you. (I’m not talking from experience fortunately. But still I can ‘just forget’ about a lot of good things when feeling down, only to remember them once I feel better.)

(*) 60/70.

Tldr: yes we can, I don’t know how either, it ‘ll somehow be allright. Make friends as a side-effect of something you like.

More technology related clubs sometimes has someone or multiple people on the spectrum. You might find people you can find friends there. If there's none available, check again after a while.