There's nothing left for me

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I will turn 40 in May. I realize that 40 is not considered old. But my problem is that I have failed to meet any of the important life milestones all my peers achieved when they were much younger.

I already missed out on dating and having sex with young women when I was young. And even if I do attract a partner in the future, because of my age, I will still have never been with a woman under 40. Additionally, I now have a hernia, abnormally low T-levels, and erectile dysfunction. So I am physically incapable of having sex even if I could attract a satisfying partner. Women my age typically have had all the children they are going to, and those children are already old enough to be in high school or college. This means that no matter what, it is too late for me to ever have any children present in my life.

I never had any career or financial success. For over a decade after graduating college I drifted from one low-paying unsatisfying dead end job to another and went through some prolonged periods of unemployment and homelessness. I have no money and own no assets or property. I do not own a home. I still rent a room in someone else's house. I cannot even rent an apartment because my credit is bad and I have evictions and broken leases on my record. I have no family, which means I cannot get any type of loan that requires a cosigner. I owe over $175K in student loan debt, and my degree is in a field that is not financially lucrative. I will be starting my first career after 40, with no previously existing savings, which means I will never be able to afford to retire.

I was vital when I was in my 20. I could walk and run for miles. I leapt over entire rows of stair every time I came down from my apartment. I may have been to clumsy to be good at sports, but I could still play volleyball or football with my friends for hours. But now I'm always tired. I feel exhausted after work every day; my body is always aching and I can't even walk properly. I weigh over 280 lbs. and I suffer from diastasis text I and an abdominal hernia. I can barely run a 100 ft lap with feeling winded and needing a break.

At some point, if I survive long enough, I'll be too old to work. But I will have no money for a retirement home and no family to take me in. What will I do then? And what about all the severe health problems I'll inevitably have by that point?

The reality is that all my best times are already behind me, and I have nothing left to look forward to in life from here on. There's nothing left for me but a slow and lonely decline toward death.

Do any of your jobs count as a public service? There seem to be an increase of student loan forgiveness programs for public servants. It seems at least some programs are capped on amount though... Which makes sense.

If he's been paying off his student loans faithfully, on time, every month, he's possibly eligible for loan forgiveness after 10 years.

I'm not eligible for loan forgiveness yet because I used to be late with my payments until 5 years ago.

I feel like he should call whoever provided his student loans. At the very least, he could get a reduction in his monthly obligations.

I looked up the public service thing, and the max for forgiveness is 5K. And even that isn't guaranteed. It'll only take a year or two for the interest to rack that right back up.

And the odds of getting through 10 years with experiencing a financial emergency are astronomical.

Not true, sir.

If you look in Studentaid.gov, you will get information.

If you’ve paid on time for ten years, you get your loans forgiven if they were Direct Loans, or consolidated into Direct Loans.

You should call your student-loan provider for more information.

And I reiterate: the odds of not running into any emergencies that would have a significant financial effect on me and prevent from making at least one payment by its due date are astronomical.

I know you like to push back on anything you're told, but if you were to ever seriously get together with anyone, they're likely to press you over the financial situation.

This may sound crazy, but I'll throw it out there. First, it's obvious you're depressed and for good reason. While this may sound counter-intuitive, consider volunteering even for only an hour on a weekend. Giving back to others has been a salvation for me. I've volunteered at the humane society, at one of the local food banks, at a wildlife rescue organization, and in a gardening organization. I am able to socialize with other volunteers as much or as little as I like, and I see others who often have far less than I do.--For example, someone who is trying to support 3 small children without a job, someone who struggles to pay their electric bill and has had the electricity turned off, some poor dog that no one wants but is absolutely thrilled because I took him/her for a walk. Will this solve all of your problems? No, but it still may make you feel better. It's fulfilling to make someone else's life better or at least it has helped me. At our food bank, we have one volunteer with terminal cancer who volunteers when he has the energy. He might not come in for a month, but when he does come in, he makes a difference to the people he helps and to the rest of the volunteers. He matters. You do too.

OP is deep in the stuff, he feels trapped, doesn't see a way out. the only way out of the hole is one laborious step at a time, it is doable but tough. first of all, dropping the weight is the first easiest task if one can tolerate hunger and feelings of culinary deprivation. use displacement by drinking 64 fl/oz of H20 daily, it can be flavored with non-caloric stuff. avoiding all refined carbs, gluten and gliadin is a start. if OP can't stand the sensory assault of fresh veggies, veggie juice is a good substitute and can replace some of the aforementioned 64 f./oz of water being chugged, it is largely what i consume. once the weight is at a manageable level, the other problems will not seem quite as insurmountable. exercise at this time will be much more pleasant and oxygenating.

On the bright side, it seems you have an abundance of depression! Save some for the rest of us, will ya. :p

I kid I kid. But I’m also serious. Your perspective is distorted via severe clinical depression so you’re unable to see the logic fallacies in your statements nor the upside of anything or any optimistic future possibilities nor opportunities.

You need to treat and defeat your depression first and foremost before you can deal with anything else. Or do some things simultaneously. Healthy diet, exercise, fresh air, sunshine, water and sleep will all help. You may also want to speak to someone or consider pharmaceutical options.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.