Must I live fast before I no longer exist ?

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I seem to feel like I should be one of those people spending their early lives, doing things such as extreme adrenaline-rushing sports games, riding fast roller coasters at theme parks, driving a fast car, travelling all around the world as though I have got limitless amounts of money, bungee jumping, parachute gliding (even though I'm not keen on heights), etc as though that is something you should do before you begin to settle down so you could then feel content that you had an exciting life already.

I seem to feel like my life has not packed with all those things I mentioned because I don't feel very keen to do something from an extreme height, and I've never really been into doing a career in sports particularly extreme sports. I enjoyed sports at school but I never chose it for career in life. Out of 195 countries in the world, I have only travelled to 9 countries. Most of those as a kid and a few as an adult. I never found myself wanting to travel in my late teens/early 20s because I probably didn't feel very confident especially with people I didn't know at school or uni, and that it was well out of my usual routine or comfort zone. I find myself envying my 20 year old stepbrother who has already started travelling to places with his girlfriends and friends and its left me feeling that was what I ''should'' have been doing but I didn't.

This may sound idiotic but I do seem to find myself not understanding very well what the concept of ''living'' actually is. What comes to mind is the image of me excited, and smiling endlessly, having lots of things to enjoy doing every single day without whatsoever getting fed up, worried or sad about anything. That sounds like an imaginary life but that is what it seems we have to be doing.

Your life is yours. Only you get to decide the "right" way to live it. If you are content with they way things are, then you aren't doing anything wrong.

Do YOU want to travel? I would think you would have by now if you did, but maybe not.

You have a distorted view of how people actually live their lives. You might read too many tabloids.

Have you considered a wingsuit?

I prefer to live slowly and have only been abroad once.

In reality, most people, most of the time, can’t afford to frequently travel beyond about 50 miles from their immediate area—no less afford hang-gliding equipment.

Agreed. And side note, ^ I tend to like your posts.

OP, you have to wake up every day in your life, in your skin, in your reality. No one else. Yours. It's a crappy response, but it's kinda on each of us to decide for ourselves what living means and how we want to go about doing that. You can look to other people for ideas or inspiration, but ultimately, they aren't you and what's right for them might be wrong for you. It's one of those things where it might be better to look inside rather than outside for answers...which I know, is hard to do when you have no idea how to define those things for yourself.

Why do you feel you ought to be doing those things?

It looks fun but I don't think I'd do it because of the immense heights.

I haven't been abroad for a few years since COVID came along. My dad and Stepmom are trying to arrange going somewhere with me this year but we can't decide where to go. I seem to think I'd have difficulty deciding if I were to go on my own because there are so many exciting places to see in the world.

I would like to go to the Scottish Highlands.

I’m jealous that Chris is much closer to the Scottish Highlands than I am.

I'm pretty willing to place myself in dangerous situations but that might be too much for me. Even watching the video kept triggering that sensation you get when you're next to a long drop.

I'll stick to driving too fast on narrow, winding, gravel roads.

I see you live in New York. I was quite jealous that my step mum and her daughter went there a few years ago. I didn't go because my step mum took her daughter there for her birthday.

New York is cool…..but it can be a sensory nightmare if you’re not accustomed to it.

According to Eckhart Tollee, the reason people are drawn to those activities is because they Force you to be Very Present & focused on the moment. If you get distracted, you could get injured or die. People feel so alive and so fulfilled when they're going fast or doing action sports in large part because we're ultra-Present vs. depressed (thinking about the past) or anxious (thinking about the future).

So, maybe really living is just being as ever Present as possible, living in a flow state. Doesn't matter doing what.. just Being and Doing while existing in and focusing on the present moment At All Times. Maybe that's really living.

ps True tho for real -> kiteboarding, motorcycle riding, sex etc = Present and happy.