8/15 - bad time

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its a rundown of my bad time without all they bloody details.

SpecialPlagiary (2:06:13 PM): test
MYBOSS went away at 2:06:13 PM.
SpecialPlagiary (2:06:19 PM): <- Shayne
SpecialPlagiary (2:06:28 PM): bad day again.....
SpecialPlagiary (2:07:18 PM): rich i want to tell you that i have a form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome....
SpecialPlagiary (2:07:56 PM): i dont use it as an excuse
SpecialPlagiary (2:08:09 PM): but i always feel i should tell you but dont know how to
SpecialPlagiary (2:08:35 PM): it is important to understanding my bahavior
SpecialPlagiary (2:09:02 PM): today i had quite a few things to trigger a meltdown,,, i identified them with jessica already
SpecialPlagiary (2:09:19 PM): so like heres an idea:...
SpecialPlagiary (2:10:00 PM): a) we called nsu back and they told me that i was going to have to wait longer ... that made me cry....
SpecialPlagiary (2:10:33 PM): b) then she was pushing me to get out of the house bc she had to be back here at a certain time that is stressful to me but i was working through it
SpecialPlagiary (2:11:33 PM): c) just being in the car causes me a lot of anxiety the movement of it how fast it goes the cars around us always makes my tummy feel funny
SpecialPlagiary (2:13:44 PM): d) i was contemplating how the nsu program will be able to help me i fear that they will want to give me meds and stuff jessica doubts that and says that psycologist use psyc refferal as a last resort only but ive had experience in the past where a professionally trained councilor to get some meds to help me talk to her more easily but i was too scared and had no one at the time to help me or encourage me to do it
SpecialPlagiary (2:14:37 PM): e) jessica eventually started to react to the conversation as if she was stressed about it and pressed the brake like hard which made me to spill coffee on me
SpecialPlagiary (2:14:48 PM): thats when i started to flip out...
SpecialPlagiary (2:14:52 PM): and then
SpecialPlagiary (2:15:34 PM): f) when we got into the parking lot of work she banged on her steering wheel which caused me to react ....
SpecialPlagiary (2:20:24 PM): i hate it rich
SpecialPlagiary (2:20:36 PM): and i hate when i end up hurting myself
SpecialPlagiary (2:20:47 PM): and i hate what i do to jessica
SpecialPlagiary (2:21:02 PM): i cant stop crying
MYBOSS returned at 2:21:25 PM.
SpecialPlagiary (2:25:31 PM): so yea...
MYBOSS went idle at 2:43:16 PM.
MYBOSS returned at 3:39:58 PM.
SpecialPlagiary (4:23:31 PM): did you get my msgs?
MYBOSS (4:24:53 PM): yes I did
SpecialPlagiary (4:25:00 PM): im sorry rich
MYBOSS (4:25:58 PM): we need to find a way to get you straightened out so that I can get you working fulltime. I expect we will be busy again soon and we don't have Ryan or Donovan around to help.
SpecialPlagiary (4:27:24 PM): it could help if i know when as guilt is strong controlling factor to me it can often overpower fears
MYBOSS (4:30:04 PM): well, Ryan and Donovan are back to school, so I need you to be here full time. don't worry if we're not busy with orders ... there's always things to do: clean up, sre-stocking the shelves, Inventory counts, etc. When you get back from vacation you'll need to work out a plan to get here in the mornings and work full days for us.
SpecialPlagiary (4:30:25 PM): i know
SpecialPlagiary (4:33:59 PM): i struggled with this in my last job too at Chicago Title i tried to get help through the employee assistance program but i just got jerked around
SpecialPlagiary (4:34:29 PM): my mother's primary care doctor put me on antidepressants which when i was on them i couldnt get any work done so i was eventuaqlly fired
SpecialPlagiary (4:34:43 PM): before that i had moved to part time for almost a year
SpecialPlagiary (4:35:56 PM): its not the job itself or the atmosphere
SpecialPlagiary (4:36:03 PM): AMCC is near perfect for me in that respect
MYBOSS (4:36:35 PM): this is something that needs to be fixed for you to function in any job - we'd like you to get help and feel good and stay with us.
SpecialPlagiary (4:37:24 PM): me too
SpecialPlagiary (4:39:04 PM): thank you rich
SpecialPlagiary (4:39:25 PM): it is reassuring to see that you have a posative outlook
MYBOSS (4:43:16 PM):

Hope things work out.