How can I stop worrying about the fear of dying ?

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In the early 30s and I seem to feel like recently I keep having these ridiculous and unnecessary worries of death and dying and getting something later in life and having it for life until my body gives up on it, things like heart disease for example. A few years ago before Covid, I didn't have these thoughts running around in my head and I can't understand why its happening now. It then led me again to search on google for answers and reassurances when I know that doing that isn't always a good idea and that it just ends fuelling the fire for more anxiety and obsessing about it.

I do things such as trying to eat the right food in order to maintain a good health and I walk to work instead of driving as I only live 15 or 20 minutes from where I work and don't seem to have any other underlying conditions but I still have these worries eating at my brain especially when I think of people in my family like my dad (61) who had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) in his late 40s (my dad used to smoke for years, and would get easily stressed even though he does a lot of physical work as a carpenter and joiner) and my nan has been in hospital a number of times in life as she has diabetes and had several bypass operations. My mum (60) hasn't had anything serious happen to her except breaking her arm and on her side of the family there seems to be less heart problems than on my dad's side although my other granddad had to go to hospital years ago now because he was diagnosed with the early onset of prostate cancer and luckily he had an operation to remove it.

I keep telling myself that none of us know what's going to happen to us in the rest of lives and that people can die at anytime, and at any age and that I shouldn't fixate on it but these thoughts continue to eat at my brain as though I want there to be certainty that I won't be diagnosed and die of something until a much older age. I seem to want to continue to be strong and able to do things.

A friend of mine had a sister who was 22 and had died from a brain tumour which she had had from birth and I also remember a woman who used to appear on a UK tv show called Airline about 20 years ago who at the time in her early or mid 20s was have constant injections and chemo treatment for a type of cancer which would be easily treated but would go into dormancy and then revive again and she is still having treatment even now.

Not ridiculous.

I see you're in the UK. I think our culture, particularly as it becomes less religious over time, is going to have real issues with this in the future. We just don't think about death much, and we rarely ever see it. So it's a big, scary mystery. In other cultures, your own death is something you think about actively - i.e. on purpose, not just as an unwanted, intrusive thought. You're encourged to contemplate the end of your own life. I think this is healthy.

A few years ago now, I was diagnosed with bladder cancer. There was a matter of weeks, from the day they found the tumor to the day I got the results back from the biopsy, where I just didn't know how much trouble I was in. All I knew was that I had cancer and that when members of my family die, they tend to die of cancer.

So that few weeks, my death was all I could think about. It suddenly became a very real, very imminent possibility. And that was terrifying, for a while. I had a two year old daughter and I was coming to terms with the idea that I wouldn't get to see her grow up, wouldn't be there to protect her as a father should, wouldn't be there to support her mother either. Just, horrible thoughts.

But after a while, I can't remember how long, I got to a place that was very calm and peaceful regarding my own death. I gained a perspective on it that was, still sad, but acceptable. It would be okay if I wasn't here. My daughter would grow up okay, without her dad. The world doesn't need me. It'll go on regardless. Not only that but if my life was to end, then okay - I'd had fun. I didn't feel cheated, it was enough. Which all sounds very trite and cliche but it was a genuinely lovely place to be.

But I didn't die. I did the treatments and I don't have cancer any more. And I've lost a lot of that perspective on my life now, I'm back to my petty self-interests like everyone else, mostly. But a bit remains. Enough to reassure me that I'll get back there should I have future cancers to deal with. It'll be okay.

And I think, in cultures where people meditate on their death, and face it honestly and maybe even see it more often, see their relatives dead bodies for instance, they probably experience this sort of existential calm without having to get cancer.

So that'd be my advice. When something is scaring you the very best thing you can do is sit with it and contemplate it as much as you can. Try to take away the mystery, see it not as something that might happen but as something that will, definitely happen, and when it does, no matter what else going on at that time, whether you're old or still young, it'll be okay.

Everything has a beginning and an end. Animals, people, planets, stars, galaxies, spacetime (probably?). Maybe you can learn to accept that?

Though I never had end of life anxiety, so I don't know if that would work. I basically had several "small death" (and rebirth) experiences using psychedelic drugs, so death doesn't really impress me.

Pretty sure religion was invented to deal with these sorts of anxieties.

Personally, I'd try to focus on making each day worthwhile.

I seem to feel as though it was better when I was at school and college in my late teens and early 20s because I didn't have to worry as I was too young but I still wasn't an anxiety-free person.

Same.

Psilocybin has been proven to relieve death anxiety in cancer patients in order to allow the to chill out and just accept the fact that they're going to die and everything is going to be Okay. I know you're not terminal and just anxious, but wouldn't hurt to have a little magic in your diet just in case it does the trick for you, too.

Whatever method works for you this is definitely something I'd address if I were you as it's the sort of thing if left unchecked that causes the sort of stress that could manifest an illness into reality - literally worrying yourself sick. No one needs that.

When my father died I sat with his corpse for a while, still in his bed at the care home, and held his hand.

Analytical me noted how cold, inflexible and waxy it seemed; emotional me was parked somewhere in the background - but logical me looked on and understood how it was an end; a long life (96) complete, replete, and finished. A beginning, a middle, and an end.

This is the order of things, the path every living thing will travel, and there is a peace in knowing this.
I echo what DuckHairback said - to contemplate death is to remove the mystery and fear.

Before that time, live your life as fully and as best as you are able.
All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.

It's the way I'm going to die that bothers me. I'm confident the actual moment of death will be fine, so long as I accept it, it's what leads up to it that might be a problem.

I'm not too fussed about being ill. I thought I was going to die when I collapsed with Covid but I didn't care, I just lay there thinking "Oh this is it then. Never mind" until I realised I had somebody who needed me still and with that thought I suddenly had the strength to get up off the floor, get a drink of water and pull myself together.

I don't like the idea of being burned or buried alive as a result of a Nuclear bomb. That's the one thing that really does bother me and it concerns me now that we seem to be sleepwalking into World War III thinking it can't possibly go that far.

That sounds like you advice to take Psilocybin daily (not sure if you meant that though).

To deal with end of life anxiety you don't make Psilocybin a part of your diet. Taking it one time could be enough already. But the studies which say it helps all include a psychotherapist. So doing it on your own may not have the same effect as in the studies.

I never said daily, but feel free if that's your thing.

I'm much more of a macro dose kind of guy 1-4x/year vs. a daily microdose kind of guy.

Do you have any experience with it? There's no psychotherapist required to experience real benefits from it. Sure, it might help, and then some therapy nerd could measure the resulting changes and tell you how much better you feel about yourself and your life and how much less anxiety you have about death/dying etc. Or, you could just do it and have the benefits and realize for yourself how your thoughts & perspectives have changed without having to have an expensive credentialed expert spell it out for you.

But by all means, if someone wants to seek out a psychotherapist that administers psilocybin and then conducts their form of talk therapy, then go nuts & give'r all ya like. I'm sure that'd be fine, too.

Add as much meaning to your Life as you can. Life is short, but it's meant to be lived in the here & now. Volunteer in your local community, or just help around your Neighborhood. Watch some funny Movies, hang with friends. The more you make your Life matter in the here & now, the less regrets you'll have when your time comes. Hope this answer helped.

It looks like you are doing your best to look after your physical health, but how is your mental health doing of late? Depression can and does cause a significant increase in feelings of anxiety and unease about physical health, and start people to believe that their overall physical health is declining much more than it is in actuality. Depression can also lead to real, physical symptoms and increase anxiety and pessimism.

If you (or anyone) works at better mental health, those feelings and fears around death will often times lessen and become less important.

Not sure I have any advice but I have found in my 30's I am like way more worried about dying. So at least you are not the only one, but yeah not sure how to get to worrying about it less.

I have done shrooms many times, but still have bad death anxiety. So idk maybe there is some sort of guidence needed for it to sort that out like idk maybe some kind of meditation while tripping would be a bit more useful than tripping just to get the fun visual effects.

It might only work if you're actually close to death. It won't make one never fear death again; it just makes one accept that they're about to get off of this ride.

I don't get it, as long as it doesn't hurt and I haven't left anything embarrassing laying out I don't know what's to fear.