Homeless

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Well, after a couple of years of umming and arring, my Mother and I had another row on Tuesday and I said enough is enough, and left. I grabbed some valuables (which I delivered to my Dad for safekeeping), some clothes, and some money and went.

As such, I don't have access to my computer, so I'm posting this from the library.

So far it has been nice to get out in the fresh air at a variety of times. Unfortunately I can't sleep. At night its just too cold despite me getting some extra jackets. Perhaps I should have brought the sleeping bag with me. I've had so little sleep that I'm starting to hallucinate. And it started chucking it down with rain this morning. I've also knackered my feet from the amount of walking I've done; probably 10 miles or more per day. The shoes I had were too small, so I finally took the opportunity to buy new ones.

For some time I've been fancying going camping in the Peak District. Maybe this year will be a good year for that .

So other than taking the opportunity to do a bit of travel, where do I go from here? I think I will put in for a council house. There may be a long wait for that though. I am desperate for some sleep and pondered asking on some well known 'adult' websites that I'm on if anyone had a spare sofa, but those 'adult' websites are too 'adult' for the library computers.

Its good to say I'm finally rid of my Mother. But I still have a lot of possessions there, some of which I will need in the near future for some small jobs, so I will still have to go back.

Any suggestions welcome.

Wow, that’s a really rough situation.

I suppose living with your dad is not an option.

What about going to a shelter at least until things get warmer?

Pop up tent and a sleeping bag. That's what you need for a bit of comfort.

https://www.argos.co.uk/product/9656527?clickPR=plp:1:3

First, I'm sorry this is your reality right now. I know saying it's difficult is an understatement.

I'm not familiar with where you are, so any advice I give might be irrelevant. I apologize in advance if that's the case. Still, I'm going to try. And likely write you a small novel here.

I'm not sure what resources are available where you are, I'm in the states and there are shelters (though often not worth going to because of drugs, violence, theft, and so on), but often local churches can help direct you to temporary places as can other organizations. Here there are places like the red cross, for example. I don't know if you have that where you are. It might be good to ask around and see what helps are available locally. I'm just thinking churches might be a good start point. They might have food to.

If you can't get into a temporary place, or decide you don't want to... I'm not sure what your mobility is like or how much you can carry in your backpack (I assume you have one, if you don't I'd get one asap) but here's some thoughts. I find yoga mats to be great for light weight, ease of set up and break down, and they're a decent buffer between you and the ground. They roll up and don't weigh you down. If you lack the funds for that, cardboard actually does work as a decent buffer to. A tarp is something I'd consider a necessity. Even if you have a tent, they do wear out and water can get in. Tarps give extra protection and can be acceptable shelter if you don't have a tent (or time to set one up/break one down). They also take up relatively little space as you can smash them, roll them, whatever and be done with it. I'd get a small butane stove. There's tons of them out there for backpackers and they're tiny and light weight and you can get one pretty cheap (like less than 10$ cheap). Being able to heat up some food or drink will help keep you warm and with the stove, you can use that thing pretty much anywhere as opposed to having a fire. Even if you don't have a pot, you can stick canned goods right on then. If you don't have a swiss army knife, get one. Do you have a phone? That would be ideal and get some wifi from local businesses. I know here, most major stores have free wifi because of things like in store coupons and such, so you can connect for free and use their stuff. lot of stores have outlets on the outside of buildings as well. It's kinda shady, but you can charge your stuff that way in a pinch. Also, baby wipes are your friend. You'll get a lot better treatment from people if you are clean...not just people on the streets who pass you, but store employees as well. Take advantage of gas stations and stores with public restrooms and clean up there every time you go into one (teeth, deodorant, everything). Make it a habit. Trust me on that one. Oh, there's info out there to about stealth camping. It might be worth it to check that sort of thing out. The focus is more on how to camp unnoticed in urban settings.

If you end up camping in nature, get yourself a good water filter, and know where water is. Learn the laws of the places around you. Where I am, in some places you can legally camp for free for up to 2 weeks before you have to move 20 miles or so from the original camp sight. Some places charge fees. Some places make you stay away from rivers/lakes/whatever by x amount of feet/meters, others have designated nature reserve spots where you can't camp at all. It would suck if you got fined or set up camp just to have to pack up and move again when someone shows up telling you to move it. But it is a great way to live for free for a few months and take in some amazing scenery at the same time. Some places you can hunt, fish, trap, whatever...others you can't. That would likely be helpful info to have. If you don't have a compass, I'd get one and if there are maps available of where you want to go, I'd get those to. You could likely print some out at the library.

I'd also recommend not sleeping at night if you are in a city/around people. I'd sleep in the day. It's safer, warmer, and in general people are less likely to give you crap for it if you're sleeping, say on a park bench, at noon v/s midnight. Especially if you're clean and don't 'look homeless'. Then you can move around at night and it will help keep you warm and aware of what's going on around you.

I talked a lot. I hope something in there was useful. If not, I apologize. I also wish you well in this.

Take care of your feet as best you can. Far too many homeless people keep shoes/boots on almost 24/7 and it doesn't take long to start having some serious skin problems with your feet. There aren't many clean dry indoor places that homeless people can take their shoes off. Even if you don't have such a luxury and all you have is a cardboard box to place over your feet to keep them out of the rain, let your feet breathe when you can. Wear as clean and dry of socks as possible. etc.

Sweet Pea hugs

A Pop-Up tent sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately the Argos link is blocked in the library because "online shopping". This is like being at school again .

Thanks for all the suggestions. Camping isn't illegal here (as such), but a lot of land is privately owned, so the owner can kick you off if they don't want you there. They can't sue you though unless you have actually caused damage.

I do need a new backpack. I've wanted a new one for ages. I went to my Dad's yesterday to try and do some laundry, but didn't manage it due to it raining. I might leave that one a while again as they are not happy about me 'sleeping rough' and think I should go back to my mother.

Can't say much about shelters. They do exist, but I don't know what they are like. Camping sounds like a far better option to me, especially since i'd like to do a bit of travelling anyway in the summer.

I am still a member at a gym chain so have been continuing to have showers there.

I am inclined to agree about not sleeping at night. I got about 45 minutes this morning and it was cold. The other day I dozed off at the "ampitheatre" in Sheffield. I got an hour but woke up freezing. A couple of days earlier I slept in the same place during the day and it was quite comfortable. And I wasn't the only one catching 40 winks either! Only trouble with that was, it was bright sunshine, and my face got sunburned.

I am desperate for a good nights sleep though. I am getting hallucinations and blurred vision, and keep drifting into unconsciousness. Twice now I have been sat on a bench, became unconscious, fell off the bench and banged my head on the road.

I do need to pick some stuff up from my Mum's so I think I might try and return there for a couple of days, if we can remain amicable. But I will not be coerced into staying permanently. Well, unless she apologises for the past, but that is beyond the scope of this topic. Now I'm just dreading going round there due to anxiety.

I'm sorry it's not possible for you to get on with your Mom. It sounds like you have a comparatively better relationship with your Dad so maybe you could spend at least some of your time there and get to know him better. I'm sure he would prefer for you not to be in this situation.

But you sound quite resourceful. I don't think I have anything to add to the advice of other posters but I'm a bit worried about what you said about drifting into unconsciousness. That's unsafe and needs intervention. You might need medication for that.

All the best. At least the UK is drifting into Spring.

Have you thought of renting a private house share? If you get Universal Credit they should pay most of your rent. Maybe yoou could ask your mum or dad to be your guarantor?

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to ... &keywords=

Also I would try and get on as many council house waiting lists as possible to increase your chances. Maybe look for less popular areas outside the city.

If you could persuade your mother to write you a letter saying she threw you out the council would give you priority as unintentionally homeless.