Feel left out or left behind when other people have kids

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I feel that because my sister had her son at 26, I feel like by now I ''should'' be a parent by now, I didn't have my first child at 26 as I wasn't with anyone at the time and nor am I now. I see other members of the family making a fuss of him and look happy for my sister that they now have a grandson and great grandson. I haven't though had anyone at all asking me or pressuring me to find a partner to settle down with and have kids. They only one who is, is myself in my own head. Seeing other people of my age or younger having kids when I see it in real life or on social media makes me feel like they have all ''moved on'' and I haven't. I don't know if this is because I'm not comfortable accepting the fact that people change, grow up and want their own lives and eventually want their own kids because its ''life''. I sometimes find myself struggling to be happy for those people because of their kids.

Can you spend time with your nephew and any more that come along and be the beloved uncle? That is a great situation because you get all the fun without the cleaning up poo, wee, sick, blood etc. that comes with children and you can hand them back at the end of the day.

Do you have a group of friends to support you and spend happy times with? It is really worth cultivating those and enjoying their company in life. I hope you do have them.

Having children is the hardest thing I've ever done- physically, mentally, emotionally. It's not something to be taken lightly or done just to fit in with other people, believe me. It's terribly frightening, you are so worried about your children that it makes you ill.

I'm the opposite to you in some ways, not so much now but when my daughter was little I used to be so jealous of people without children, they seemed to have such fun and carefree lives

I often worry that when I'm old I'm going to regret not having children. When I worked at a care home there were some residents living there who could more or less look after themselves but had never had children, and either their spouse has already passed on or they never married at all, and maybe their siblings might have passed on too, and so they feel lonely or abandoned by society and are afraid of dying alone and being found 10 years later as a mummified corpse on the couch, so they put themselves into an old folk's home, just for company and to feel cared for. It's really quite sad if you think about it.

Yes I know there's no definite guarantee that your children will stay in touch and look after you, but I think most do when their parents get old, especially if they were brought up well by you. I think also if you have kids you think about them, where as if you never had any kids and you're 90 and not really got many other relatives alive or close then you kind of have nobody to think about and you feel lonely and forgotten completely.

i didnt plan to have any children but im glad i had my son

i know he is at that late teenage stage now where he wants to be with his mates and go out but i still know that when he gets a bit older he will be there for me..well he is there for me now but he is still a boy

I think that it's really hard for anybody to really know what it's like to have kids if you haven't got them. Yes, it's an extraordinary outlay of resources and time, but there's also a lot of cool stuff that comes along with it as well.

I personally want to have kids, but at this rate, it's going to be a while as I'll need a divorce and then to meet somebody that's capable of taking care of themselves first.

So, no, you're hardly the only one that's feeling left out.

Just remember...there will come a point when you will be looking after your young kids at one end...and your elderly parents at the other. You will be torn in two different directions and it is a lot of stress.

Having kids is also very, very exhausting and frightening. You can't imagine how exhausted and frightened you'll be, the worst you've ever felt in your life. These tiny babies depend on you for EVERYTHING, 24/7 and you have to keep them alive.

If I had my time again, I'd focus on earning loads of money and not get married or have kids. Life should be fun, not endless drudgery.

I don't feel left out for not having children as far as having kids goes more like the people who did have them no longer have time for much outside them. So I don't get to see them as much. My sister has multiple children and I feel like I gained them as friends and family. That is worth it to me. My youngest niece I think is on the spectrum also and we get along so well and share so many interests.

So yes I'm sad that I don't get to see my sister as much as before (or other friends who have had kids) and in that sense I feel left out.

As far as do I feel I need to have kids myself no. I don't need to do that for my life to have value. I have kids in my life who are great already and that is enough for me.

Sweet Pea hugs

Many more people are choosing to not have children then ever before. Populations in some places are actually declining. So there are many people who will share your situation.

Yes apparently only 49% of Americans have children now. That probably applies to the western world in general.

I think it's because the world is now set up for work, business, finances, not communities and families. And people tend to live in little nuclear families, not extended families with lots of relatives to help out. So there just isn't the support network for parents anymore. Certainly I never had a support network when my daughter was little, I was alone.

And you definitely need a strong, reliable support network when you have children, I'll say!

40 years old and zero children. Parents dropped dead. Zero significant other.

"Life" gets lonely sometimes but children take time cash and energy

Sometimes I just want to be alone and quiet and do nothing

If you want you could volunteer around children. For example, school volunteer. That way you can interact with children but not have the burden of responsibility

I have always thought that the world I live in needs to be good enough for me to bring children into; with that said, 50% of parents born since 1980 are raising children in poverty in my part of the world. Between inexcusable inequality and the climate reckoning, I don't think there is anything to lament about not having kids.