Why have a child if you can't afford one ?

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As I said in another thread, I seem to think a lot of people are having kids not necessarily because they want to but that they ''have'' to order to ''keep up with the Joneses'' and do it regardless or whether they are wealthy, not-so-wealthy or poor. I still can't help but think I am the ''only one'' out of millions in the UK who hasn't yet settled down with someone and started a family when my sister now has a three year old son but she didn't plan for that birth though she, just got pregnant. I seem to think I ''should'' have had my own children by now before my sister had hers.

People have always had kids whether they can afford them or not and whether they were intended or not. That's nothing new. I think people should avoid having kids unless they genuinely want them and are in a position to take care of them, but sometimes neither of those conditions are met and parents still do a decent job despite the obstacles.

Having kids or not having kids is a very personal thing. There's generally no "should" about it.

Not every child in intended - whether one is able to be afforded is rarely a factor in the decision either.

nature generally finds a way.

That's what adoption is for.

You got people in really poor countries who have kids like they are going for the record and its only in rich countries we stop to think "can you afford it?"

I don't think people have kids to keep up with neighbors. I have 4 kids and one on the way. Both my wife and I grew up in a family that wasn't close - we wanted to have a large close family someday.

Thats it! Thats the reason, no keeping up with others.

*screaming inside*

Apparently, some people have them despite not being able to afford them simply because they think that having children is "normal" and that being anything other than "normal" is bad. Of course, society is changing, and in many circles the option of choosing to not have children is becoming more and more accepted, making it "normal", so in the future, at least in Western countries, the amount of people who have children simply because "that's what people do" should lessen. There are also the kind of people these days that demand explanations when someone chooses to have kids, as in "why would you want a child? There's already too much of us on this planet/it's expensive/it'll take all your free time!"

And some others know they can't afford it, but not all decisions are made with logic only. They simply want a child, and their emotional needs to be a parent ends up winning. Just like some people know, logically thinking, that they'd be better off in their life without keeping in contact with their abusive parent/sibling/child/partner/friend, but their emotional side cares about that person and wins, causing them to end up keeping that person in their life.

And of course, there are also people who thought they could afford raising a child, but were wrong. Some of them don't realize how expensive it can be, and others do know, but unexpected complications in life, like illness or unemployment, make them have less money than they thought they would, and thus makes affording raising a child harder.

There are a lot more baby strollers in poor neighbourhoods than wealthier - especially being pushed by young mothers/fathers.

Sex is one of the most enjoyable activities that anyone can afford to do. Can't afford an expensive hobby or tuition or ____ but people everyone can afford to f**k, so, then some of those women get pregnant and for some reason or another decide to keep the baby vs. abort mission... and then 9 months later, ready or not, here comes baby.

It tends to go like that.


As for people being able to actually afford to have and raise kids, really truly, very few people Can actually afford them these days. Housing/transportation/energy/food/daycare etc costs are through the roof. Tons of couples here opt to remain childless so they can afford things like housing and food. MANY people who have kids live barely paycheque to paycheque and are in debt. Some people move far away in order to be able to afford their kids or start a family.

IMO, this is not an accident - it's by design. Those that pull the strings around the world to rig the game and control what people do and don't do have intentionally made life so expensive that people will opt not to have kids. It's a form of population control. Make everything so expensive that people decide "for themselves," not to have kids and then we'll get the human population under control. The number of humans alive isn't That big a deal, it's the number we have that consume so much excess energy, food, and other resources that makes the population unsustainable. So, makes sense that those that really control the world have made things so that people in such high resource consuming parts of the world can't afford to have kids so will stop pumping them out at nearly the same rate.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

In most of the world for most of history - nature does what it does, it's the child's problem to figure out how to survive. That's the way we've been until recently.

We're part of nature and, rather sadly, it's been shown that not only are high IQ people not having kids but it's not only the underclass but particularly the criminal underclass whose super-fecund. The more 'rational' we get the more the irrational or merely pragmatic takes the reigns of the future.

Yes I think some people who are in relationships get bored after reaching all the relationship milestones (first kiss, first date, moving in, getting married, etc), so they think "I know, let's have a baby now", without considering whether they can afford kids or if they're living in a suitable place to bring up a child or even if they're mentally capable of all the stress and responsibilities children bring and the chances they might be born handicapped or special needs. I don't think my parents thought it through. My mum didn't even love my dad, she just stayed with him because she was too shy to find anyone else, and she wanted to move out her parent's house but couldn't afford to unless she had a partner, so she moved in an apartment with my dad. My mum had anxiety and was prone to depression, and my dad wasn't really a family sort of person, so I don't know what made them have us, maybe because they were bored and wanted to make life more interesting.
They were fantastic parents but the emotional and financial issues made it more stressful for them to be parents even though they always put us first and tried their best. Maybe because their friends were having babies and they didn't want to be left out. I feel the same, I know it'll be unfair on the child if I brought one into this world really but sometimes my hormones kick in and make me want to have a baby of my own. When this happens my breasts itch, like they really want to have a baby sucking milk from them.
I have pets to help and make me feel like a mother, and it does help.

That's not even a question from where I came from, but that would slowly be a question to actually ask.


I'd rather ask regardless; why have a child and be a parent with so many emotional hung ups, that a child just had to deal with that?

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I hate to say but most people can't afford their own lives, let alone having a dog or cat to care for.
Having a child is so ridiculously expensive I don't know how anyone can do it.
That being said, many of us have done it and survived.

I worry more about the emotional burden on people who aren't certain, than the financial one.
Both matter a lot though.

These are human beings we are bringing into existence, not just passing hobbies.