Friends death due to addiction!

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One of my friends was found dead yesterday in his flat by the police after being reported missing since 18th June. He was addicted to drugs but had a loving relationship with his girlfriend.

I assume the funeral will be 5 weeks but do you think it's inappropriate for some of his friends who were into drugs as well to attend the service?

He was 40 when he passed away RIP

I'm sorry you lost a friend, Jamesy.

I suppose there may be some friction between family and friends if family feel that the addict friends were part of the problem. In that case, maybe it would be better for those friends to have their own, separate memorial. But otherwise I don't see the problem.

How would it be inappropriate? Didn't they just lose a friend?

My condolences on the loss of your friend.

Do they know the death was drug-related?
Why would the funeral be in five weeks?

Because it usually takes when they don't know the cause of death.

Unless they are told to stay away by the family I think it's very appropriate to attend a friend's funeral.

Usually, the more people that turn up, the more comfort that gives to the family knowing how many people cared. Could be a bit awkward though if they feel that him falling into the wrong crowd was a big part of the reason for his ultimate demise.

That seems like a long time to wait for a funeral, but I suppose if someone's being cremated and not buried then there isn't the same rush on things.

I don't think it's inappropriate for his drug using friends to attend if it's at a public funeral home where anyone can attend. Especially not if they were invited, or not specifically uninvited.

People in active addiction attend funerals. People in recovery attend funerals. People who have relapsed attend funerals. If they're feeling up to it and want to etc. Just because they may have used with him doesn't mean they killed him. His lifestyle choices likely did, but that's not likely down to one person's fault besides maybe the dealer that sold the bad batch or the cook that made it etc.

There have been so many drug overdose deaths in recent years. I've been to a handful of those funerals. Some people I know go to 1 or 2 or more every single week because they're deep in that community and people are dropping like flies. There are 6 or 7 overdose deaths per day Province wide now. Just because someone is a drug user doesn't mean they don't want to pay their respects to the deceased.

So, unless they're specifically uninvited to a private celebration of life - which has Also happened in my life as a couple people were asked Not to attend Because they live volatile lives of drugs, violence, theft, break & enters, home invasions etc and the host of the party in lieu of a funeral didn't want to have any of that stuff brought to their doorstep in the future - then I think it's just fine that people attend no matter who they are. Public funeral = anyone can show up.

I am going to the funeral

Ok. Are you one of his friends that used drugs with him so your post is wondering if You should go and be welcomed or if you shouldn't?

I have done drugs with him a few times but that would only be once a year at Christmas.

Probably no one else really knows about that so whatever. My guess is you smoked a joint together vs. smashed meth or something.

Unless someone tells you specifically not to come, go to the funeral 100%.

IF some family member of his is there and decides that people who use drugs should not be there and tells people that and asks them to leave, then stay. Chances are very unlikely that that will happen. But if some grieving family member asks people to leave, then don't cause a scene, just respectfully give your condolences and leave.

I remember at one of my cousin's funerals there were some of her addict friends and family that showed up. My aunt doesn't Like the drug scene my cousin was into, but there wasn't an issue with those few people that showed up at all. They just stayed in their own friend group at the back for an outdoor funeral and then spreading of ashes at another location.. kept to themselves and were respectful of everyone. No one cared. There WERE, however, other drug users in my cousin's social circle that had reached out through another cousin to ask if they could attend and my aunt said no, absolutely not. My younger cousin though that was rude, but whatever, those people DID like my cousin and were probably good friends to her, but they are definitely thug life gangster types and no one wants them around nor the drama or gangster s**t they bring - so they were uninvited and my other cousin planned a separate gathering for them in a local park they used to hang out at as kids/teenagers back in the day.

So, it depends. Just because someone uses drugs with the deceased doesn't mean the family doesn't want them there at all. Chances are highly unlikely they even know you did drugs with the guy once a year at Christmas, anyways, unless they saw you. And a once a year indulgence, whether cannabis or cocaine etc, is a big fat nothing in the grand scheme of drug use.. not like someone that was instrumental in someone's drug use spiralling out of control or anything. You're basically worrying about a big fat nothing. It's respectful to consider, though. But I'm 100% sure you're in the clear. Just show up and be respectful of everyone is all.

Ok thanks for advice