I'm not coping well with life.

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I am feeling unhappy with my life. I try hard to achieve highly in whatever I choose to do, but I am not satisfied. I've hit a brick wall when it comes to improving in my sport which I've played for about ten years, yet some people come in who've only played for 3/4 years and they beat me. I have done very well academically in the past but now I am struggling to get the job I want, even though I received good feedback for an interview I did not long ago. My family say I should be proud of my achievements, but I just don't feel that way and I want to always do better. It's getting harder to talk to my family about issues that I am facing because I don't feel better after we have the conversation. Nobody seems to listen to me properly or follow my advice, even though it is logically sound.

I have sought help from various services, but none of them seem to be able to cater to my specific situation. I don't feel free to express anger or sadness. I find it difficult to try anything new as I feel anxious all the time. I could probably list more things that I can't remember right now. My life sucks and the only one who can change it is me, but I can't, it's very difficult. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy, and I don't see a future where I will experience true happiness again. Time is just ticking away until the day I die, leaving me suffering with this for the next 50 or so years.

I don't know if I posted this to seek advice or not. I suppose I am just hoping for a "way out" for whatever my situation is, because otherwise what else is there to do?

It sounds to me like you are focusing on too many outside things rather than yourself.

What makes YOU happy? What hobbies and pastimes do YOU enjoy? Why do you have to achieve highly in everything, why don't you just go as far as the level that makes you feel good, then don't push yourself further if you don't enjoy it.

I think the secret to happiness is meaning in your life e.g. if you find meaning in collecting things/ writing/ playing music/ sport/ maths etc. keep doing those for the sake of it, not to achieve high levels.

The world does look pretty hopeless right now doesn't it, you aren't alone in feeling that you'll never be happy again. But everything passes, it can't continue the same and will always change.

As for people not following your advice, I know how that feels! I think autistic people are destined to be able to solve problems but for some reason people don't listen to us until it's too late. We are Cassandras. Next time I give advice that no one listens to I'm going to make a note of it and say 'I told you so' when their plans go wrong.

When I was younger, I liked playing video games. Nowadays I don't spend as much time on them because I feel I should be doing something more productive and more I see it as a way to kill time rather than as a way to have fun.

I like to go through the process of learning something from a book/internet/other resource, apply what I've learned and see the results that follow. With my sport I don't see the positive results as much as I used to. Optimising how to play and then expressing that by winning against somebody who didn't optimise as much is satisfying to me. For a few years now, the only people I have been able to practice with on a consistent basis are below my level of play, and the opportunities to play somebody who can challenge me are rare and only in a tournament setting. I care about having more challenging games, but the organisers in my area do not care to develop the sport in order to make this happen. The upshot of all this is there's no way for me to make real progress at the moment.



People seem set on just doing what they want to do regardless of whether it is a good idea or not, at least in my experience.

is there another area you can learn something and see the results? Do the same thing but in a different area of life? Or do some sports where you are kind of 'competing against yourself', there are sports you can do where you do that e.g. marathons perhaps? I'm not sporty but you are, so you could find out.



Yes, I can't really understand people like that, I carefully consider what to do before I do it. I'm no daredevil in any way!

I used to follow an exercise routine to get stronger, but I could only keep it up for a couple of months. I find that I spend a lot of time trying to construct it properly according to the advice I see online, however I often reach a point when I get stuck and I get overwhelmed with my own thoughts so I end up doing nothing. I overthink often in general and I know the solution often is to simply find a way to start, which means in my mind that I would be deliberately choosing not to do things correctly. I wish I were able to answer your question like “I will try X” without worrying about it and instead look forward to doing X.

I don't know what else to say, I hope you find something you can do that makes you feel better and more satisfied.

That's okay. Thanks for talking to me.