I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.
I used to kickbox at a crap club; not only did their 'gym' not have a bench rack or squat rack, the club forced me to do katas and Pointfighting. We did grappling now and again but then we didn't grapple for months on end. I also felt left out as I was never invited to stag parties, weddings,birthdays,etc. I quit once I got my blue belt (halfway to black) and saw how they still put me against beginners in tournaments.
If I didn't go to University I'd have switched clubs from kickboxing to Ju Jitsu which I actually did but I still kickboxed. The 'rival' kickboxing club took me on and I enjoyed it there more than my first club but they too were crap because they were a Pointfighting club. I didn't realise until University how frivolous forms and katas, and Pointfighting were useless as the University kickboxing club we just did drills, hit pads and sparred. At University I realised how it's hard to apply your throws,chokes and joint locks on a moving opponent; that's why I'm glad I took up judo. I also wrestled but in hindsight I don't think I should have- I should've focused on kickboxing and judo. Maybe I shouldn't have done Ju Jitsu until after my education if at all- should've focused on both kickboxing and judo (I'd have done Ju Jitsu instead of judo if I didn't go to University).
Things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.
Undergraduate had a lot of 'coconut' Muslims who would drink and do drugs (and not fast for Ramadan) but they still wouldn't eat pork. The actual practising Muslims from Sha'ria countries would forgive them for that and they'd prioritise friendships with other Muslims instead of me. Whether they were practising or British born secular (who drink and do drugs) they'd be united in their antisemitism and hate for America. What really irritated me was they'd say 9/11 was an inside job instead of condemning Al Qaeda and ISIS. When I went to my second University there were practising Muslims from Shar'ia countries and they too wouldn't include me.
My so-called friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't
I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).
My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.
I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.
21 Jul 2023, 9:18 pm
