So as some of you know my..grandpa may be dynig soon,

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Sweetleaf
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22 Oct 2023, 2:18 am

posted a big rant about it, but so todaky I saw him, it was hard to know what to say so I siad it was good to see him and grabbed his hand that he reached out cause you cant really hug him on his deathbed, but I did touch hands with him and tell him it was good to see him, but couldn't think of anything else to say.

it was good to see him. I just wish I could of thought of something more to say,; like I could have at least said I had always liked him coming up for new years and me and him would just watch the twilight zone marathon. But I couldn't think to say all that at the time and it may be the last time I'll ever get to see him.

But idk he is ready to go, it is just sad that it has to be this way cause some people his age are still ok, so idk I guess to me it seems umfair he has to die at just 80 something when so many people live into their 90's or 100's these days and why not my grandpa. but he is dying and idk I think he just wants to pass peacefully rather than wait till his body entirely gives out and could potentialy result in a more painful death. LIke idk it is his choce and if his prognosis is not to get better why shouldn't he pass peacefully on his own terms you know..like if he dosn't want to keep suffering he shouldn't feel obligated to. But I am still sad to see him go...


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babybird
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22 Oct 2023, 7:10 am

I bet it meant the world to him that you held his hand.


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blitzkrieg
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22 Oct 2023, 7:41 am

I am sorry to hear of your grandpa's situation, Sweetleaf.

I am sure your grandpa appreciated you holding his hand. That alone symbolizes a lot of things that words cannot express.



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22 Oct 2023, 7:54 am

Quote:
it was good to see him. I just wish I could of thought of something more to say,; like I could have at least said I had always liked him coming up for new years and me and him would just watch the twilight zone marathon. But I couldn't think to say all that at the time and it may be the last time I'll ever get to see him.

I think he knows. Parents and grandparents usually know these things, especially good ones. I’m sure it meant a lot that you went to see him and held his hand.

I’m very sorry about your impending loss.

{{{ hugs }}}


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Denise Darnell
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22 Oct 2023, 7:59 am

You provided a comfort for a dying man :heart:



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22 Oct 2023, 8:03 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
it was good to see him and grabbed his hand that he reached out cause you cant really hug him on his deathbed, but I did touch hands with him and tell him it was good to see him, but couldn't think of anything else to say.


Sad times dude :( {{{Sweetleaf}}}

They do say actions speak louder than words and sometimes words are not necessary to convey feelings.

Because of Covid it was difficult for me to see my Grandfather in his last days (he was in hospital) but he did get to meet his Great-Great-Grandson prior to hospitalization (which I didn't think would happen). It was kind of a blessing in disguise for me as when my Grandmother passed all the family were there at her bedside which I found quite traumatic and had to leave before she passed (In my mind she had already gone, and it was just a case of her body catching up with her mind) . I don't deal with others people grief well, it really messes me up.


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22 Oct 2023, 11:09 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
(...) and grabbed his hand that he reached out cause you cant really hug him on his deathbed, but I did touch hands with him and tell him it was good to see him, but couldn't think of anything else to say.
I did the same thing with my father and held his hand shortly before he passed (later that evening, as it happened) and I'm glad I did.

He knew I was there; words were unnecessary.
Sometimes actions speak louder than words, and touch is one of the loudest.


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22 Oct 2023, 11:51 am

Sweetleaf
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22 Oct 2023, 2:35 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
I am sorry to hear of your grandpa's situation, Sweetleaf.

I am sure your grandpa appreciated you holding his hand. That alone symbolizes a lot of things that words cannot express.


That is how I am trying to think of it, like I wasn't sure what the right thing to say was, but I think that part was probably a bit more important. It can be hard to remember that words aren't the only part of communication.


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Sweetleaf
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22 Oct 2023, 2:48 pm

Recidivist wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
it was good to see him and grabbed his hand that he reached out cause you cant really hug him on his deathbed, but I did touch hands with him and tell him it was good to see him, but couldn't think of anything else to say.


Sad times dude :( {{{Sweetleaf}}}

They do say actions speak louder than words and sometimes words are not necessary to convey feelings.

Because of Covid it was difficult for me to see my Grandfather in his last days (he was in hospital) but he did get to meet his Great-Great-Grandson prior to hospitalization (which I didn't think would happen). It was kind of a blessing in disguise for me as when my Grandmother passed all the family were there at her bedside which I found quite traumatic and had to leave before she passed (In my mind she had already gone, and it was just a case of her body catching up with her mind) . I don't deal with others people grief well, it really messes me up.


Hmm I can relate to that, Like I am struggling a bit with how much of whatever funeral is done for him I will be able to tolerate. It's just hard to be around all those emotions pouring out of other people idk that stuff really effects me to. Plus, my grandpa is a christian and that is important to him, so it will probably be a bit religious. Which due to my beliefs I have a difficult time sitting through religious ceremonies of any sort and I almost feel it would be disrespectful to go to that part due to that. Though my family has expressed wanting to do a celebration of his life, so there will be a gathering after the actual funeral service which me and my boyfriend will certainly go to.


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blitzkrieg
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22 Oct 2023, 2:51 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
I am sorry to hear of your grandpa's situation, Sweetleaf.

I am sure your grandpa appreciated you holding his hand. That alone symbolizes a lot of things that words cannot express.


That is how I am trying to think of it, like I wasn't sure what the right thing to say was, but I think that part was probably a bit more important. It can be hard to remember that words aren't the only part of communication.


I'm sure you grandpa knows you cared about him and that you were there for him. :)



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22 Oct 2023, 3:34 pm

It meant the world to him ,you will always be glad you were present to say goodbye.


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Sweetleaf
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22 Oct 2023, 11:25 pm

well thank you to all of you who responded, did make me feel a little better so I appreciate your responses.


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blitzkrieg
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22 Oct 2023, 11:42 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
well thank you to all of you who responded, did make me feel a little better so I appreciate your responses.


No worries, Sweetleaf!



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23 Oct 2023, 11:24 am

You didn't need to say anything else; you presence was enough. A whole lot gets said without words.

80's is still above average lifespan, especially for a male.

He doesn't need to suffer in pain. Modern medicine can keep him pain free 24/7 with regular doses until he passes if he's truly at end of life stage and experiencing pain he doesn't want to feel.


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23 Oct 2023, 4:06 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
Recidivist wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
it was good to see him and grabbed his hand that he reached out cause you cant really hug him on his deathbed, but I did touch hands with him and tell him it was good to see him, but couldn't think of anything else to say.


Sad times dude :( {{{Sweetleaf}}}

They do say actions speak louder than words and sometimes words are not necessary to convey feelings.

Because of Covid it was difficult for me to see my Grandfather in his last days (he was in hospital) but he did get to meet his Great-Great-Grandson prior to hospitalization (which I didn't think would happen). It was kind of a blessing in disguise for me as when my Grandmother passed all the family were there at her bedside which I found quite traumatic and had to leave before she passed (In my mind she had already gone, and it was just a case of her body catching up with her mind) . I don't deal with others people grief well, it really messes me up.


Hmm I can relate to that, Like I am struggling a bit with how much of whatever funeral is done for him I will be able to tolerate. It's just hard to be around all those emotions pouring out of other people idk that stuff really effects me to. Plus, my grandpa is a christian and that is important to him, so it will probably be a bit religious. Which due to my beliefs I have a difficult time sitting through religious ceremonies of any sort and I almost feel it would be disrespectful to go to that part due to that. Though my family has expressed wanting to do a celebration of his life, so there will be a gathering after the actual funeral service which me and my boyfriend will certainly go to.


OMG I feel for you, funerals can be traumatic depending on the overall vibe of the people there ( I was OK until my uncles voice faltered when he gave a reading, then I went to pieces and felt really uncomfortable with nowhere to run). I personally wouldn't see it as disrespectful if it's against your beliefs but you have to do you imo don't let anyone guilt you into anything. A celebration of life sounds like a wonderful idea. :heart:


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