My friend is in a toxic relationship and I hate it.
I had something of an intervention with him about it recently because it has really been dragging him down.
However, I understand that it's rarely as simple as just leaving. Which is why I asked him about how the relationship started and what his partner used to be like. In order to fully understand the situation.
After a long conversation, I was able to find the main issue. He admitted that he knows that it's toxic but he thinks that he can't do better. That men (he's gay) are going to treat him badly anyway and at least this is familiar. Frankly I'm horrified.
He knows that he should cut contact but he doesn't think he's strong enough.
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goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
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Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Lame. I've never really quite understood the dynamics of this sort of thing in a gay relationship tbh. Sex is so easily obtained for MOST gay guys that if a relationship is truly toxic and simply not working or ever going to work out, just bounce and be single and hookup with whoever you feel like it whenever you feel like it. Why be tied to a toxic gay relationship when you can just roll solo and hookup when you're in the mood?
..as I also recall the imbalanced fwb relationship I made a several page thread about. I guess we all do stupid illogical s**t when we're inexplicably attracted to someone we Know is bad for us.
Anyways, encourage him to break it off and just be a slut instead.
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Sweetleaf
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That is rough...idk do you have the ability like a spare room where he could stay for a bit if he needs to, like idk I think the best thin you could do is just remain a friend to him and see if you can help. But try not to be pushy as it may take a while for someone in such situation to really see the problem and if you push too hard they might default into just defending their partner, even if they are being treated badly...but they have gotten attached to it so idk I think the best thing is to let them know you care and if they can get the strength to leave.....it would be nice if as family you gave him a space he could stay in for a time at least till he can sort some things out.
Your not obligated to do all that or anything, it would just be a nice offer for your friend who is struggling and living in a camper to see if there is any way you can help him. Idk especially if his wife is abusing him and they have kids, like she is probably abusing them to.
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We won't go back.
He doesn't have a wife and he's openly gay. Nor children for that matter. My friend doesn't want kids in the future either.
He's sort of dating this guy but it's not an official relationship. More of a friends with benefits / situationship type of deal. They don't live together.
He's also not living in a camper. My friend lives in different area to me and since he's currently looking for work in his area, it would actually just inconvenience him to stay over at my place. Plus I don't have that authority, I live with my parents. He also lives with his parents.
We're in the same boat of trying to find employment in a bad economy whilst in our early / mid twenties.
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Support human artists! Do not let the craft die.
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